What Is a Good Man?

Misadventure said:
Read the thread title, and am wondering how this applies to my d-bag ho-ness...

Ah ha! <lightbulb>

Not just women, stop being so sexist. It's more appropriate to say social groups. But since we're on this topic, it's reclaiming a derogatory term and using it for empowerment instead. For instance, nigga. I say "my nigga" all the time. My husband is black, my kids are mixed blasian (black latino asian) I think it's important for them to be able to turn this word that once was used against them in negative ways into something that celebrates brotherhood/sisterhood.


THIS! Oh gawd I've missed you my nigga! :kissy: (anyone who takes offense to that is an asshole)
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I'd like to start a discussion on this. It interests me. I will not use the term because society has decided white males are to be silenced. However I'll be honest, I've never had the desire, the thought or inclination to use a term like that. Since I can remember being taught that phrase has always been associated with oppression and slavery. My question is though if it is in fact that (which it seems to be) how does anyone benifit from using it?
Now I know that I am not liked here. People think that I am trolling in everything I say. I keep telling them there's nothing further from the truth and they keep telling me I am lying. My point Is, I do not mean to offend. All I am doing is asking the questions no one wants to address in my mind in order to gain a better understanding of society in general.
How does one benifit by calling others or or being called by others a term that is only associated with negativity?
 
Eventhorizon said:
I'd like to start a discussion on this. It interests me. I will not use the term because society has decided white males are to be silenced. However I'll be honest, I've never had the desire, the thought or inclination to use a term like that. Since I can remember being taught that phrase has always been associated with oppression and slavery. My question is though if it is in fact that (which it seems to be) how does anyone benifit from using it?
Now I know that I am not liked here. People think that I am trolling in everything I say. I keep telling them there's nothing further from the truth and they keep telling me I am lying. My point Is, I do not mean to offend. All I am doing is asking the questions no one wants to address in my mind in order to gain a better understanding of society in general.
How does one benifit by calling others or or being called by others a term that is only associated with negativity?
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Ok, I'll start a new thread to answer your questions and let others answer as well. We're veering way too off subject here to keep it in this thread. :D
 
I used to think that I would be the worst person in the world to answer this question, but time and trials have been my teachers and evil men teach much. They teach us what does not qualify as healthy or loving. They teach us what real love - is NOT.. And then one day we learn there are men with opposite agenda's. :) And with these two lessons in mind, I shall answer this question:

A good man is,

Patient
Kind
Understanding
Peace loving
Steadfast
Thorough
He matches your effort, day after day
He keeps his word, to the best of his ability
He doesn't answer just to please you, he's honest
He's loyal
He's transparent, like glass.. ;)
He notices and loves all the quirky little things about you, that no one else seems to notice.
He listens..
He understands. <3*.
 
Ren said:
It's my personal conviction that this idea that there is a fixed "masculine gender identity" is inimical to being a good man for many men. Because many men will misinterpret it in so many ways, by taking admitting weakness, or being wrong, or showing the depth of their feelings, as "unmanly". But to be a good man, there are times when a man has precisely to do that ;)
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I agree, it's a problematic idea for a lot of good reasons. What is gender? Well, no one really knows, or ever has known... so all of these messy ideas spring up around it, many unhelpful.

But to clarify I think it's necessary to identify as a man in some way, whatever a man really is, in order to be a good man, otherwise you're just talking about a good person, maybe a person who shares a lot of qualities with a good man, but still a person rather than a man. The most reliable standard I can figure out for deciding that someone is really a man is their subjective identification that "I am really a man".

You make a good point, I want to add your point to my own personal list but can't come up with a succinct way to put this quality you're describing. Reflexivity, Flexibility, Openness, Vulnerability?
 
Phases of a Good Man's Life.

Ages 18-30: Hard Work. He rarely takes breaks, pursues every opportunity and climbs upward towards success.

Ages 30-33: His hard work pays off and he has finally attained the position that he has pursued for so long.

Ages 33-35: Continues to advance in places that are not his primary area of specialization, slowly works to make an himself irreplaceable asset to his organization.

To Be Continued.
 
invisible said:
I don't want to work. It's shit.
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invisible said:
I don't want to work. It's shit. I've done nothing in my life but work my fingers to the bone on min wage. I hate being a service machine. I will retire ASAP and go make my shitty art like I always wanted.
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You don't have to be stuck making minimum wage.

  1. Study Accounting at a Community College (take as many online classes as you can if you must work).
  2. Transfer your Community College credits to a University.
  3. Graduate with a Bachelors Degree in Accounting.
  4. Take the CPA exam to receive your CPA license.

Congratulations! You're now a Certified Public Accountant that makes $60,000-$100,000+ a year.

Get out of poverty first then pursue art in your free time.

Is this an actionable plan for you?
 
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Pin said:
You don't have to be stuck making minimum wage.

  1. Study Accounting at a Community College (take as many online classes as you can if you must work).
  2. Transfer your Community College credits to a University.
  3. Graduate with a Bachelors Degree in Accounting.
  4. Take the CPA exam to receive your CPA license.

Congratulations! You're now a Certified Public Accountant that makes $60,000-$100,000+ a year.

Get out of poverty first then pursue art in your free time.

Is this an actionable plan for you?
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Agreed. Also having a positive outlook is crucial. If accounting isn’t your thing, there are many other options. I prefer being self employed.

Life doesn’t always work out the way we plan, however forging ahead and making things happen is a choice.

@Free I hear ya about college. Things have a way of working themselves out.

Oh, and a good man doesn’t abandon his kids. He sets his fragile ego aside and seeks to makes better choices.
 
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