Hm. I'm standing at the precipice of a relationship with an ENTP girl I've known for a few years. She recently said she's loved me all this time, and I'm considering whether it will really work. I have to say, Antiquary's post seems pretty accurate in most ways, with the exception of one -- that my ENTP is very focused and directed in her college work, and doing very well.
I think she's a wonderful person -- incredible to be around when we're just hanging out -- and we do make fantastic friends, and I've always thought she's one of the most attractive girls I've known, but nonetheless, something just feels off about it. There's a hollowness about our interaction that makes me feel like I'm starving and I can't quite place my finger on what it is. She's blazingly intelligent, and she doesn't dominate a conversation at all like other ENTPs I know (one of my best friends that I grew up with was ENTP, and he can go on and on without ever registering disinterest.) That she doesn't is actually a huge credit to her.
However, if I reach over and hold her hand, there's something missing in the response. It's as if there's an unspoken language in love that she just isn't really aware of and doesn't understand very well. For me, the verbal components of a relationship are the least important in many ways. Sometimes our interaction can feel like I'm listening to the lyrics of a song without the melody.
Wish I could explain it better.
Also, she is terrible at plans. This invariably drives me nuts, but I'm trying to roll with it. Doesn't make me feel very secure though -- whether or not we see each other seems very much at her convenience and in little consideration of my own. Like Antiquary said, I've had instances in the past where, just as friends, we'd make plans to go hiking and I'd leave work early only to have her flake out an hour or two before with a lame excuse.
I know her well enough to know it's not malicious, it's more of an inbuilt obliviousness. Normally I wouldn't put up with this, but she usually notices that it hurt me and then comes back with a sweet apology and a peace offering, which is always pretty cute.There's been a lot of oscillation between feeling like I shouldn't bother and feeling genuine love for her.
I don't know, I kind of feel like if this is going to work, it's going to take an enormous amount of effort from both sides. Like, supernatural, personality bending effort. Someone earlier said climbing Mt. Everest, and that feels about right.
I think my deepest concern is that in the context of a relationship, I'll put her interests first, and she'll put her interests first, and after a few months...
we'll see...
As an ENTP,
She may love you but if she is not willing to put you first as you would for her, then I don't think she is ready to have a relationship with you.
ENTP's are loyal as hell to the partner that they believe is the one. If so, If you are the one in her mind she will stick around until she and you are ready to engage.
Although this also depends on the moral aspects of the individual ENTP.
She might be like me, I tend to shy away from love, so sometimes I come across as cold when someone gives me a hug or a kiss on the check. I like it, but I am shy about it.
In my personal opinion I believe that ENTP's mature slowly, putting career first before love and family. Trust me, there is a reason to this, ENTP's are afraid of ending up in a job situation that they are not happy with or that doesn't offer much flexibility. If they have a family that they have to try and support at the same time this can cause havoc.
ENTP's tend to be in the dominate side, but I would say that was true for most extroverts (that I have seen)
ENTP's love flexibility and mental/psychical activities, so anything like long walks, fishing, going to the gym, martial arts, motorcycle driving, hiking, horse riding etc. is good.
ENTP's love company so if you are active yourself I would encourage that you get involved in doing some of these activities with her. This will most likely help strengthen the bond. ENTP's also love compliments but try not to compliment her on something she knows about. Tricky, but you'll find there is a balance.
If you have ever watched Spongebob (If you haven't then I highly recommend so) you might be familiar with Sandy Cheeks.
She is the perfect example of an ENTP female.
Family wise I think ENTP women would make great mothers as well as lovers. ENTP's in general get along well with kids and enjoy working with them. ENTP's have the heart of a child and love to play and joke around allot, which I can imagine, be overwhelming for their partner for sometimes. A mature ENTP has a good balance between their child and adult self.
Last edited:
I get this vibe of "I love you so much, but I can't, there's no time and I have to focus, but I'm entirely in love with you." and it comes through in actions more than words. Just my intuition when I sum everything up and add it with what you've said.
