What Is Your Interest In a Family?

[]L%;Zwnj]

Thanks Passion. I was saying it half-heartedly. I mean, kids are pretty good at adjusting and adapting, and I have no doubt that I would be fully in love with my kids if I have any. They would be the loves of my life, I have no doubt and I would do everything to make sure who I am doesn't interfere with who they can become.

But realistically, it's important to take an objective look at self. I'm a little worried that I'd overwhelm them to death with my feelings and sensitivities. I'd want to be in a place (emotionally/psychologically) where my kids won't inherit my neuroses . That's what I meant by sane.

Ah, I see. I feel the same way. I'm not ready for kids yet because I certainly haven't gotten to that stable emotional/psychological point myself. Here are a couple things to think about though.

One, whoever their dad is will also have a big effect on them. I know I have both my mom and my dad in me, and I really feel like even though I have gained some similar weaknesses that they have, I also have gained some of their strengths, the things that make them really great people. So, I'd like to think that when I have kids one day, they will take some of the things that make me great but also some of my spouse's traits. That way they'll only be half crazy

Two, and this is a strange concept, but think about it: maybe those neuroses aren't all that bad? Sure, they are tough to live with sometimes, but they are still a part of who we are, and despite our weaknesses I know we are good people. Por ejemplo: sure, I get really upset and emotional about things at times, but I also am able to feel things like love and happiness just as strongly. I get really low, but I also get really high. Why not pass that on to my kids? I can help them through it when they experience the tough personality flaws they inherit, and then I can teach them to recognize and love their strengths that come with those flaws.

 

[Solongo]

1. Do you want a family? If not, do you think you will change your mind in the future?

I do want a family. I want a large family. Maybe three to four kids if the factory down below allows it. I am the only child and it is tough being alone on top of being an INFJ. I can be alone but I prefer to be with someone so I don't delve too into my introvertedness plus I seem to learn more about myself when I am around people who stimulate me even if it is annoying at times.

2. Do you like children? Do you want children of your own?

As a woman, this is tricky. I have known mother who have not one motherly cell in their bodies and have kids and women who can't have kids but are wonderful caretakers. I like children and get annoyed at other's children at times. But I know for sure that my own children will be different. I know I will have a psychic like connection with them. Am I scared to raise them...hell yes. In effect every decision you make is impacting and making a person so it is a huge responsibility. To be more reaslitic I will only have kids when I am married, otherwise I do not aspire to be a single mother even though I am strong enough to deal with it, but it is extremely unhealthy for the kids. Plus my husband have to be financially stable to support a family, no exceptions.

3. Do you think you would be able to balance your need for isolation vs the demands of a family?

For a healthy family, I will make any sacrifice necessary even if it involves me letting go of my privacy. But I know as the children get older, I will enjoy more freedom so all is not lost. its the early years that is tough for a mother as far as time spent on caring and taking care of everything. Family is a personal sacrifice and not just something you add on to your life. You have to let go of something to gain something in return. That's why many marriages fail because many parents don't have time or sacrifice their intimate relationship in taking care of the kids and such.

 

[NeverAmI]

1. Do you want a family? If not, do you think you will change your mind in the future?

I do want a family. I want a large family. Maybe three to four kids if the factory down below allows it. I am the only child and it is tough being alone on top of being an INFJ. I can be alone but I prefer to be with someone so I don't delve too into my introvertedness plus I seem to learn more about myself when I am around people who stimulate me even if it is annoying at times.

2. Do you like children? Do you want children of your own?

As a woman, this is tricky. I have known mother who have not one motherly cell in their bodies and have kids and women who can't have kids but are wonderful caretakers. I like children and get annoyed at other's children at times. But I know for sure that my own children will be different. I know I will have a psychic like connection with them. Am I scared to raise them...hell yes. In effect every decision you make is impacting and making a person so it is a huge responsibility. To be more reaslitic I will only have kids when I am married, otherwise I do not aspire to be a single mother even though I am strong enough to deal with it, but it is extremely unhealthy for the kids. Plus my husband have to be financially stable to support a family, no exceptions.

3. Do you think you would be able to balance your need for isolation vs the demands of a family?

For a healthy family, I will make any sacrifice necessary even if it involves me letting go of my privacy. But I know as the children get older, I will enjoy more freedom so all is not lost. its the early years that is tough for a mother as far as time spent on caring and taking care of everything. Family is a personal sacrifice and not just something you add on to your life. You have to let go of something to gain something in return. That's why many marriages fail because many parents don't have time or sacrifice their intimate relationship in taking care of the kids and such.

You will make a wonderful mother.

 

[Alkali Regnant]

1. Do you want a family? If not, do you think you will change your mind in the future?
I think I will. Not until I'm out of college and have a solid job though.

2. Do you like children? Do you want children of your own?
I love children! There is a reason I was in girl scouts till I was too old (love working with those kids)
I'm not really sure yet. I do but I may want to adopt.

3. Do you think you would be able to balance your need for isolation vs the demands of a family?
I think I'd be able to. It may be hard at first but after a while of getting used to it I think I'd be fine.

 

[bs98r3kjf]

1. Do you want a family? If not, do you think you will change your mind in the future?

I do want a family. I want a large family. Maybe three to four kids if the factory down below allows it. I am the only child and it is tough being alone on top of being an INFJ. I can be alone but I prefer to be with someone so I don't delve too into my introvertedness plus I seem to learn more about myself when I am around people who stimulate me even if it is annoying at times.

2. Do you like children? Do you want children of your own?

As a woman, this is tricky. I have known mother who have not one motherly cell in their bodies and have kids and women who can't have kids but are wonderful caretakers. I like children and get annoyed at other's children at times. But I know for sure that my own children will be different. I know I will have a psychic like connection with them. Am I scared to raise them...hell yes. In effect every decision you make is impacting and making a person so it is a huge responsibility. To be more reaslitic I will only have kids when I am married, otherwise I do not aspire to be a single mother even though I am strong enough to deal with it, but it is extremely unhealthy for the kids. Plus my husband have to be financially stable to support a family, no exceptions.

3. Do you think you would be able to balance your need for isolation vs the demands of a family?

For a healthy family, I will make any sacrifice necessary even if it involves me letting go of my privacy. But I know as the children get older, I will enjoy more freedom so all is not lost. its the early years that is tough for a mother as far as time spent on caring and taking care of everything. Family is a personal sacrifice and not just something you add on to your life. You have to let go of something to gain something in return. That's why many marriages fail because many parents don't have time or sacrifice their intimate relationship in taking care of the kids and such.

I love your whole outlook on this. I wish more people would see this, especially your answer to the third question. We'd have a much lower divorce rate.

 

[Sailnet18666]

Family and interest in family can be only developed if you really like your family members, and family members like you, about me, i am ok with my family members.