What do you value about the friends you have?
Humility
Playfulness and Wit
Compassion
Insight
An appreciation for language
A love of contemplation
Willingness to examine and share experience
A gentle manner
Patience with me
Honestly and diplomacy
What qualities do you dream of finding in a friend?
I realize in trying to answer this question for myself, that I cannot think of another quality not listed above. I think what leaves me dreaming really originates within myself. While I have counted people who possess these qualities among my circle of friends, I need so much assurance that I am esteemed as highly as I esteem them, that usually, lacking that abundance of feedback, I let myself slip away from them, fearing their rejection of me.
So maybe the quality that would most contribute to the friendships I dream of actually rests with me--acknowledging my own worth as friend to someone else.
What qualities do you dream of finding in a friend?
None, a friend is not bought nor made. We forge bonds not people, I can not say to my friend that you have better taste in movies and philosophy there for you are a cut above the rest or you are prefered to those whom have no such tastes.
There is something more to friendship then what the person is like, it has little to do with words such a loyalty and honesty. No one is always honest and rarely is there some one whom is eternaly loyale.
No friends are more, something between the individuals that allows us to overlook faults and see the genuine side of each other.
Are you speaking to the nature of idealism not leaving room for reality? If so, I can appreciate what you're getting at.
I grew up in a small town where choice in the people one could connect with was very limited. I have always appreciated that the limiting nature of that environment in some ways actually had a very diversifying effect. It forced me to do the work of really getting to know and find places of appreciation for people I might not have given the effort to otherwise.
I think in a wider pool of potential engagements I can get picky to the point of isolation. I suppose the more you use a muscle the stronger it gets, while inactive it atrophies. It sounds like either by choice or environment your muscles for appreciating people have grown strong.
Anyhow, I love people who are humble and sincere (ie. unpretentious and honest) - being highly intelligent is a nice bonus, but is optional.
I had resonance with your appreciation of these qualities. Though highly intelligent is kind of scary for me, so I'll say insightful instead.
