when someone doesnt understand you

D

dorkymagenta

Newbie
MBTI
INFP
do you get irritated? like, if its something easy for you but they don't understand? idk, my two INFJ friends always seem to get mad at me when i dont. does this happen to you?
 
No.
I've become quite used to it, because my train of thought is not that easily to follow.
Whenever I have a conversation, I must really bring myself back to the subject a number of times,
because I make analogies and explain other things in the meanwhile, and I understand that this must be confusing for others
 
i dont try anymore
not to sound sappy, but this happens when im talking to other infjs as well

i try to appreicate the level of understanding and connection that does happen, as opposed to freaking out over how much is not there
 
Yeah. Especially when what you said was so perfectly executed, and to re-say it, would destroy the meaning. Or, on the other hand, do you ever lose interest in what you yourself is saying mid sentence, so you trail off, but get irritated when they ask you to repeat, because you are on to a totally new thought, and HATE to have to back track?
 
Nah, I can understand when someone doesn't quite get what I'm saying, and I try to rephrase it in a way they will understand if I have to. Quite often I get distracted while I'm telling a story or something and end up having to say "Oh, what was I talking about again?" haha. It's okay though.
 
dorkymagenta said:
do you get irritated? like, if its something easy for you but they don't understand? idk, my two INFJ friends always seem to get mad at me when i dont. does this happen to you?
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I have a hard time articulating my thoughts to my boyfriend, it's disappointing to see the confusion on his face. I don't really care after that point.
 
kammy said:
I have a hard time articulating my thoughts to my boyfriend, it's disappointing to see the confusion on his face. I don't really care after that point.
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I get this too, especially if I managed to make myself say something I'd been trying to communicate to him (my husband) for a while. I'll be quite proud of myself that I got it out and in a fashion that is hopefully easy to understand and then he sometimes totally doesn't get it or takes it the wrong way and it crushes me. It makes it hard to want to open up about some things sometimes.
 
Yes, very irritated. I know it would be really confusing if I showed that irritation, so I just try to swallow it and explain it further. But inside I'm thinking 'omgwtfdiaf.'
 
i don't get mad cause it's my own fault. i don't want people to understand me so they don't. it's a direct result of my actions. in specific occurrences maybe. when i'm tryin to say something and people can't get it. like i am making the effort but it's coming up blank. but that's also a result of my own actions. no one knows how to draw a baseline to talk to me so they can't figure out what i mean. only person to blame for that is me. if i'm explainin somethin or teaching something though i can be unusually patient.
 
I would not want them to know what's on my mind, but I would love if they knew exactly what I was feeling. I don't think I'm so easy to read though.

Initilly yes I get bothered, it's my first reaction, but it wouldn't be fair to expect people to know.

The only reason I'd like them to know is because sometimes Its embarassing to point them out myself or I'm at a loss for an explanation of them. I know what I'm feeling but I can't put it into words; so that's why I'd wish they just knew. =b
 
I get frustrated because I can't figure out a better way to say what I said.

I get really frustrated when I don't know what to say.
 
I hate it when I confuse myself when trying to explain something to people. My head goes "wait, is this really right?".
 
If they don't "get me" - as in personally? No, not really. I'll get mad if they probe or make stupid comments (IE: "why do you this?", "how come you don't do that?", "why aren't you this way?", etc..) but the lack of understanding in and of itself doesn't bother me too much. I don't think anyone is truly understood as it is.
 
sandra_b said:
I have no problems with this.
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I agree to a degree.

If it's some I am close to, then it will bother me a lot. However I almost always fix it, and I can't really think of an incident where I was misunderstood so bad that it caused a permenant or long term problem.
 
There's a certain type of person that does this to me but I'm pretty sure they don't understand most concepts or even want to hear about them. My sister is this way, I'll try to explain to her something and she won't be able to concentrate on it or something it's like "Yeah, yeah, whatever. I'm gonna go hangout with my friends" she doesn't ever sit down to think anything through, it's not necessarily negative it's just how she is. However I can pretty well explain my points to people who are the thinking and pondering types usually unless we get into some of the really abstract stuff.
 
I expect to be misunderstood from time to time and I try to show patience in my explanations. However, lately it seems like everyone misunderstands me in RL. I walk away from conversations thinking that all is right in the world only, to discover that everything has been misunderstood in terms of facts and motivation. I want to scream.

I've always had a problem with people understanding me. I'm told that I am too terse so I make an effort not to be but it's unnatural and wearying. I think many people are not good listeners. They are too busy reading body language and tone to actually pay attention to the specifics being said. I know I'm guilty of it from time to time but there is a segment of population that's always reading nonsense between the lines. If there was a way to force them to stop and pay attention to the substance of my speech, it would revolutionize my life. I'd like to hire an interpreter who reads my mind and translates to whatever muddled language everyone else seems to be using.
 
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