Why are infj's "antisocial"?

donkeybals

donkeybals

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I was thinking about this earlier.. what makes infj's [strike]"antisocial"[/strike] introverted, reserved, shy, standoffish, "unsociable", avoidant? There's this one dude I work with, I always see him staring into space. I had a feeling he was an infj and wanted to talk to him. I finally ended up talking to him and he is a great guy with a lot of personality.

Why are infj's [strike]"antisocial"[/strike] introverted, reserved, shy, standoffish, "unsociable", avoidant? Everyone here seems like they have great personalities that are unique..
 
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A lot of what keeps me from really being outgoing and socializing is the thought of "How could this go wrong?" "could someone take what I say or do the wrong way?" "what would happen if it goes wrong?" etc.
When it comes to actually initiating that contact, I've got a high level of anxiety about the possible outcomes and how things could be misconstrued if someone were to mull something over as much as I do.
If we actually get to talking, I can really talk up a storm and feed off of and give back to the energy that comes from the interaction, but getting the ball rolling is the hardest part for me.
 
IndigoSensor said:
Most INFJ's aren't anti-social.

Also it's good to keep in mind what the proper definition of anti-social is:
Click to expand...

This +1 shyness ≠ 'anti-social.' I wouldn't restrict shyness as a trait specifically held by INFJ's, though. I think introverts (and some extroverts) just have a tendency to appear that way when they're actually quite capable of socializing in an efficient manner.
 
Griffin said:
A lot of what keeps me from really being outgoing and socializing is the thought of "How could this go wrong?" "could someone take what I say or do the wrong way?" "what would happen if it goes wrong?" etc.
When it comes to actually initiating that contact, I've got a high level of anxiety about the possible outcomes and how things could be misconstrued if someone were to mull something over as much as I do.
Click to expand...
Hah! Me too...
I once agonized over making small talk with an acquaintence I was hitching a ride from.. This was how my internal monologue went throughout the whole awkward (a fault of my own analyzing) ten minute ride:

"She will think this topic is lame. She will think I'm just trying to make small talk and think I'm dumb. She may be offended if I attempt to make small talk because it will then be evident that I am uncomfortable being silent with her. Oh crap. I should really say something.. because she may be expecting me to make small talk. She may think I'm silent because I'm uncomfortable. She may think I'm socially inept. Shit. Enough time has gone by that if I make small talk now it will be even weirder."
 
I don't like the commonly accepted definition of anti-social.

I'm an infj and I'm not anti-social. I just don't like being in situations with a lot of people in bigconversations...however if I'm in a situation with 4 or less people I am actually quite social and I'll talk a lot. I think infj's are quite capable of being social in their own way, they just don't like big groups of peopl
 
bah you wanted our opinions....
 
IndigoSensor said:
Most INFJ's aren't anti-social.

Also it's good to keep in mind what the proper definition of anti-social is:
Click to expand...

Thanks for posting that Indy. You rock for pointing this out. I've tried and no one seems to get it. I'm so sick of being accused of anti social personality disorder (antisocial) which is the same as calling me a sociopath / psychopath. I'm not mental unsound. And I'm sure most of us aren't.

As for why we appear less social. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that our brand of social is not normal in the way that an E type is social. especially if they are ESXX.
 
donkeybals said:
I was thinking about this earlier.. what makes infj's "antisocial"? There's this one dude I work with, I always see him staring into space. I had a feeling he was an infj and wanted to talk to him. I finally ended up talking to him and he is a great guy with a lot of personality.

Why are infj's "antisocial"? Everyone here seems like they have great personalities that are unique..
Click to expand...

I don't think that I am anti social. It really depends on the situation and circumstances. Their are times when I just choose to mind my own business. And watch and learn. If I do not feel welcome to the conversation I stay out of it. People are always surprised when I start talking to them. They see a different person than they thought talking to them. Once I get to know you, I am a lot more open and lively. I have to know where the boundaries are with people before I dive in.
 
Though I'm not INFJ now, as an introvert I've often unintentionally presented myself in a gruff manner, occasionally bordering on standoffish. This happens much less the older I get. I think that being an introvert I would constantly obsess about inevitably doing or saying something stupid, or putting others on a pedestal (sometimes positive and sometimes negative) and I would kind of piss myself off in advance. Many times during college, people that I met would remark that they'd seen me around campus and that I always looked pissed off.

[MENTION=3589]donkeybals[/MENTION] BANNED FOR NOT GOING TO BED WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO BED!!!
 
Blind Bandit said:
Then please use a more correct term. Reserved, introverted, and so on would have been better.
Click to expand...
Yeah, I'll edit it alright..

I was thinking about this earlier.. what makes infj's "antisocial"? There's this one dude I work with, I always see him staring into space. I had a feeling he was an infj and wanted to talk to him. I finally ended up talking to him and he is a great guy with a lot of personality.

Why are infj's "antisocial"? [strike]Everyone[/strike] Some here seem like they have great personalities that are unique..
Click to expand...

I kid..
 
*lols*
 
Bring it on, bring it on. :m031:

PS I'm a 9th degree black belt who can bench presses 900lbs and can cut bricks with my hands.
 
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