Being a perfectionist, as much as I wish I was perfect, I know I never will be. But I think you're right with that last part. INFJs can be very nice on the outside, but I think people are sort of caught off-guard if they reveal their deeper thoughts and feelings because it wasn't expected.
Well said!!
I relate to what you have said here. It is a funny feeling reading it and seeing others who relate as well. I tend to take MBTI with a grain of salt, but some of the parallels are a little uncanny at times.
It tooks me years, but was worth it. It took me until my late 30's. In my late 20's I found someone who was compatible as a friend and we married for a number of years, but there were some incredibly painful incompatibilities as lovers. I'm now with an INTP who has really strong Ti and Fi. He is one of the sweetest people and really intelligent. He doesn't mind talking through feelings and can be quite insightful. He spent many years with aggressive ESTJ type women who were angry, fighty, and competative, and so he feels the comradery in return because I'm really gentle and accomodating in relationships. Fights make me really sick, even small ones are avoided. Empathy combined with reason are enough to avoid most anger. We meet on the ground of objectivity and reason, but can also meet on the ground of sensitivity and caring.
Once in awhile (it used to be significantly worse) that leaves me to be the awkward quiet one in the room watching everyone. Men (rather, general population) interpret it as anything from arrogance or disinterest or intimidating or, or, or. Nope, just in a whole other realm AND trying to make sense of the nonsense, sorry! That blank stare means my heads at full capacity thinking about crap that I find intriguing and I figure that's fair... better than me joining in on the conversation at hand then allowing true opinions to come out disjointed and *sigh* rude, I suppose. I only have poor communication skills, guize.
You mean people don't like us?
Seriously though. I've learned that men don't hate INFJ girls but they sort of fear us. If they like us, they might just love us, and that's scary for them if they aren't ready for that, and if they aren't ready for that, then they aren't going to like us are they?
I have heard that INFJ's are the kind of people you want to settle down with not screw around with. I think about it and feel like that is true, but until you meet the one you're going to settle down with it kind of feels like you're left out of the fun.
I wish it were different. But I guess that's just how it is... Maybe I'm wrong.
I have lived all of that, word-for-word. What can be frustrating though are acquaintances who trust and accept all strangers willy-nilly and no matter how convincing you may sound in a situation although you're sure you know better, as others have said, our expressions just scream those intuitive emotions regardless.
Once in awhile (it used to be significantly worse) that leaves me to be the awkward quiet one in the room watching everyone. Men (rather, general population) interpret it as anything from arrogance or disinterest or intimidating or, or, or. Nope, just in a whole other realm AND trying to make sense of the nonsense, sorry! That blank stare means my heads at full capacity thinking about crap that I find intriguing and I figure that's fair... better than me joining in on the conversation at hand then allowing true opinions to come out disjointed and *sigh* rude, I suppose. I only have poor communication skills, guize.
The whole idea that some of 'em gentlemen don't appreciate our insight into their minds when they're so young is dead on. Dead, dead on. I fully expect my dating career to be a pathetic one for awhile.
Lucifer, you smarty-pants, I have loved everything you've said. Games are a necessary evil if casual dating is what you seek. I've only recently accepted this fact.
Interesting. I had a similar experience with an INTP female who I was friends with for a few months. My particular 'trying to be someone I was not' action was from trying to be too much of a T and not allowing my F to shine -- more often it would surface in me seeming cocky or arrogant, without even realizing it. I told her its because I never really wanted to appear weak or needing anything from people and it was a defense mechanism -- but I think it was generally a turn off regardless because NTPs often have a greater handle on social mechanics then one would believe by looking at their profiles -- of course they are not as good as Ni types at determining motivations and underlying mechanics -- still they notice a lot because their perception is rooted in the external world.INFJs are slow to be themselves which can make first encounters awkward. It is obvious and some what grating when you see an INFJ tr to be someone their not.
Also INFJs insights into your mind can make you feel vulnerable, which is a bit creepy.
Well no I am actually thinking of this one kid I know...
Oh I misunderstood the question
Well I mean if your not willing to play the game you are not going to win, catch my drift?
ENTPs have a fantastic handle on social mechanics. We're also very good at determing motivations. Mostly because we're cynical.
