OrangeLizzard
Newbie
- MBTI
- INFJ
Over a week ago I got into a petty argument you can say with a friend. We haven’t spoken in a week but not in a bad way really cause we just both mutually ended the discussion and gave each other some space.
Small fights are nothing and it’s nothing to end a friendship about. But it makes me uncomfortable that nothing happened. We just argued and they believe that I was in the wrong meanwhile I believe they overreacted and should just acknowledge that to move on so it doesn’t happen in the future. There wasn’t any of that and as a result I just feel detached from them? Similar to the feeling when we do door slams. I just don’t really feel anything about them. I didn’t feel the need to reach out.
Now they’ve messaged me saying it’s something to agree to disagree on and they still believe I’m in the wrong. It didn’t feel like a situation where that could be concluded as a agree to disagree but more so lack of self awareness and emotional control that could lead to future problems. So now I feel like I would only be cautious and resentful in the friendship. Has anyone felt this way before?
For context and opinions on the argument, this friend of mine who I’ll call Amy broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago and is still healing from it. One thing that has helped her is being in a group chat with me and another close friend of ours. In this chat, we send each other random funny stuff and once in awhile I send them funny comments on YouTube.
I had sent a screenshot of an argument under the comment section of a video regarding some viral topic that’s irrelevant to mention (but we’ve talked about it in the chat which is why I sent it+fight with internet stranger). The important part to mention is that the comment took place under a YouTube channel that reminded my friend of her ex bf. So I send the screenshots and our other friend in the chat asks where that comment is from and I respond saying the youtube channel. Amy ignores the screenshot and says that I’m being unsympathetic of her situation by sending the screenshot. I asked her how I was being inconsiderate as the screenshot had nothing to do with her ex bf and didn’t reveal the youtube channel either. It was only a screenshot of a stranger arguing about the viral topic.
I told her I thought she was overreacting to say I’m being unsympathetic as the screenshot of the YouTube comments have nothing to do with her ex bf and that I understand she’s in a sensitive state but that it was unfair for her to point the finger my way just because she’s sensitive. She said I should just apologize and move on and this is where the fight erupted because I told her she shouldn’t expect me to apologize over something so absurd that had no connection to her ex bf whatsoever.
We were arguing back and forth until she changed her reasoning for being upset mid argument by saying that I was dismissive of her feelings by responding to our friends question and mentioning the YouTube channel which she is sensitive about. Meanwhile I think she needs to take responsibility and deal with her own sensitivity rather than pointing the finger at others over her own feelings.
It bothers me that she overreacted that way and her sensitivity is gonna be too much to handle in the future if she doesn’t have any self awareness. She can’t help feel that way because that’s her emotional state but I think it’s good to know when we overreact to something. I just find it weird she would try to pin it on me? She thinks that I was “dead wrong” and I don’t even think it was something that significant to be described that way. Her behaviour really just rubbed me the wrong way where it makes me not want to deal with her even though it’s a stupid reason to not talk to someone anymore. I just can’t get over feeling nothing about it anymore
Small fights are nothing and it’s nothing to end a friendship about. But it makes me uncomfortable that nothing happened. We just argued and they believe that I was in the wrong meanwhile I believe they overreacted and should just acknowledge that to move on so it doesn’t happen in the future. There wasn’t any of that and as a result I just feel detached from them? Similar to the feeling when we do door slams. I just don’t really feel anything about them. I didn’t feel the need to reach out.
Now they’ve messaged me saying it’s something to agree to disagree on and they still believe I’m in the wrong. It didn’t feel like a situation where that could be concluded as a agree to disagree but more so lack of self awareness and emotional control that could lead to future problems. So now I feel like I would only be cautious and resentful in the friendship. Has anyone felt this way before?
For context and opinions on the argument, this friend of mine who I’ll call Amy broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago and is still healing from it. One thing that has helped her is being in a group chat with me and another close friend of ours. In this chat, we send each other random funny stuff and once in awhile I send them funny comments on YouTube.
I had sent a screenshot of an argument under the comment section of a video regarding some viral topic that’s irrelevant to mention (but we’ve talked about it in the chat which is why I sent it+fight with internet stranger). The important part to mention is that the comment took place under a YouTube channel that reminded my friend of her ex bf. So I send the screenshots and our other friend in the chat asks where that comment is from and I respond saying the youtube channel. Amy ignores the screenshot and says that I’m being unsympathetic of her situation by sending the screenshot. I asked her how I was being inconsiderate as the screenshot had nothing to do with her ex bf and didn’t reveal the youtube channel either. It was only a screenshot of a stranger arguing about the viral topic.
I told her I thought she was overreacting to say I’m being unsympathetic as the screenshot of the YouTube comments have nothing to do with her ex bf and that I understand she’s in a sensitive state but that it was unfair for her to point the finger my way just because she’s sensitive. She said I should just apologize and move on and this is where the fight erupted because I told her she shouldn’t expect me to apologize over something so absurd that had no connection to her ex bf whatsoever.
We were arguing back and forth until she changed her reasoning for being upset mid argument by saying that I was dismissive of her feelings by responding to our friends question and mentioning the YouTube channel which she is sensitive about. Meanwhile I think she needs to take responsibility and deal with her own sensitivity rather than pointing the finger at others over her own feelings.
It bothers me that she overreacted that way and her sensitivity is gonna be too much to handle in the future if she doesn’t have any self awareness. She can’t help feel that way because that’s her emotional state but I think it’s good to know when we overreact to something. I just find it weird she would try to pin it on me? She thinks that I was “dead wrong” and I don’t even think it was something that significant to be described that way. Her behaviour really just rubbed me the wrong way where it makes me not want to deal with her even though it’s a stupid reason to not talk to someone anymore. I just can’t get over feeling nothing about it anymore
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