Why I wish I was an INTJ and highly admire them.

Mind you, just because INTJs don't express emotion doesn't mean they don't have it. They certainly do, and when it comes out, it's raw & uncontrolled...and, often, they're little help in understanding / fixing the crisis. I love 'em to death, I'd just hate to be one...
 
This is my new favourite thread on INFJf! Being an INTJ is great for many things, except anything that involves other people. Unfortunately, pretty much everything worth while involves other people. We're good at anything logical/analytical, but we suck with relationships and people. Some of us because we just don't care; with me, however, it's just because I don't 'get it'!
 
One of my best friends is an INTJ who once was an extremely successful and effective VP of an important Pharma company (he's now wealthy and retired). At one point he realized that his management style worked because he intimidated people. He hated that in himself so he took pains to change. After a while he became one of the most charming and engaging people you would ever meet. Of course, as an introvert, being socially engaging is draining so he needs to have significant time alone to recharge. This proves that nobody has to be a slave to type and that balance can be achieved with insight, will, and maturity. He really is an extraordinary person.
 
I do not wish I was INTJ but I do find their company very refreshing but then again I get along with pretty much everyone even people I don’t like I get along with. With INTJ’s though I like the honesty as I don’t really take things personally. It’s hard to find someone who will tell you when you have made a mistake and not make it personal.

What I like about INTJ’s tends to match anybody who is introverted and reserved. They have complex personalities and I am drawn towards complex things. I like the challenge of trying to figure out how their brain works and trying to predict their actions in certain situations.

I don’t know if I could ever have a true relationship with one though. I love their logic and analytical minds but to me it seems to lack balance. To be so logical and not willing to take a risk now and again just takes away the excitement of life. I have a lot of respect for the few INTJ’s I have met but I can’t find in myself to envy them. Too much to the extreme for my taste. Just like I can’t stand being with overly bubbly people for too long, I can’t be with someone who rejects emotion so quickly for too long either. I need happy median of logic and emotion because I don’t think either has more value than the other. People who overly demonstrate either interest me but I can’t develop a relationship with them.
 
I had to put my two cents in about what I've read so far.

**No one fits type exactly**
I don't know the MBTI Intj profile but I do know Keirsey's. I fit it to a T. No exceptions. I am not a robot however so I try new things but eventually return to my preference.

**Solitary**
Yes. I can tolerate and enjoy long periods (even years) of aloneness as long as my mind is occupied. I've been having a lot of trouble concentrating recently so for the first time in my life I am learning about loneliness. I do enjoy friendship but usually become overwhelmed by the demands. I despise small talk but find it easier with people I like and on the internet. I am not averse to socializing with extroverts. Clubbing for example, is fun with the right people. Which brings me to the point that different people serve different purposes in my life and I don't try to make them serve purposes to which they are not suited. I also despise gossipers and will avoid them at all costs. I do not remember names and faces of people I do not see regularly.

**Analytical**
Yes but as above concentration is shot so not as sharp as I normally am. A difference I read between intps and intjs is that ps are more comfortable with strict logic than js. This seems right to me. I don't think in a series of logical steps. Instead, I hear an argument and simply know it doesn't work or it does and can point out quickly the point of failure or explain its success. This I consider to come from my intuition. I am told that I have a very large range of knowledge and interests and often people call me before they check google. (I say this humbly and not to boast.) From my perspective I know very little. I do not discuss topics that I do not know anything about but will ask questions if I am interested and can garner intelligent replies. I am also told that I explain things simply, quickly and put in a way that's easy to remember.
**Egos**
Yes. I will readily admit incompetence or lack of knowledge. To do otherwise is to waste time. I do not get jealous or envious ever. I know what I need and how to get it except when it involves feeling.
**Feeling**
This is the most understood thing about me. I have feelings. Very intense, overwhelming feelings. I have trouble describing them and often cannot separate them so I cannot name them. This is the area in which I most disappoint myself. I lost a very dear friend because of this very issue. There was a growing intimacy between us and it confused the living daylights out of me. He just kept pushing and pushing me to speak about it. I suspect to encourage me to make a decision. (I am otherwise very decisive). Instead, I became angry and cut him out of my life. I do better with guys who don't push me to talk about my feelings but he's the one I want back.
I have experienced tragedy several times. I've only spoken about them on the internet. I would be brought to tears in RL.
I am accused of always looking angry. Not true I smile and laugh when something moves me. My expression is totally unrelated to what I'm feeling inside and probably is related to concentration.
I like to be loved but do not need to be liked.
**Ethics**
I am very ethical and just. I don't claim ideas that are not my own. I do not deliberately hurt people. With one exception, if you hurt me physically or hurt my relatives I WILL plot and execute your downfall. I am not charitable unless so moved.

**Things**
I am not a hoarder or collector of things. I appreciate presents but do not have to receive them and will not think less of anyone who does not present one to me. I use luxurious things but can do without them and rarely buy them for myself.

I would not wish INTJness on anyone esp. a woman. The trouble with feelings is really difficult and quite frankly no amount of research makes it any easier. Trust me I tried. Absurd I know but that is what I believe is called desperation.
 
Yes, to be an INTJ woman would be horrorible. OH the inhumanity of it all...
Sorry Alien, just being smarmy.

I have found that I enjoy many aspects of being an INTJ. I do however regret that I am very reserved when it comes to expressing affection which has been detrimental to my relationships. I think much of it depends on how well you learn to cope with life. I know when I was younger, I felt most people thought I was an absolute bitch. Tact was something I felt had no value. I learned to be a bit less direct when dealing with others. If you can imagine that!
 
True. I am tactless. It doesn't sound that way in my head though. My diplomatic skills are still poor so I now just keep my mouth shut.
 
I have been told a few times I lack tact or have 'a certain naivety', most recently by my boss and ex-girlfriend. It's something, however, I have learnt over time, although it's definitely something I need to be thinking about in order to do. It certainly doesn't come naturally. Raw, unadulterated me definitely lacks tact, but that doesn't mean I hurt anyone's feelings.
 
that's so wierd... I have loads of INTJ friends too!

but while I love them to bits, there are always things in their personality that I don't like. Most of the INTJs I know are very very right wing and seem to care little for the consiquences of the way we live today. They often think it's perfectly ok for the rich to get better treatment if they can pay for it, etc.

They also pay less attention to the feelings of other people in what they say and do. My best friend doesn't even know he's being hurtful some of the time.
 
Galileo said:
that's so wierd... I have loads of INTJ friends too!

but while I love them to bits, there are always things in their personality that I don't like. Most of the INTJs I know are very very right wing and seem to care little for the consiquences of the way we live today. They often think it's perfectly ok for the rich to get better treatment if they can pay for it, etc.

They also pay less attention to the feelings of other people in what they say and do. My best friend doesn't even know he's being hurtful some of the time.
Click to expand...

This is true. I believe it's fine for the rich to pay for better treatment. Why wouldn't they? If they've worked hard for their money, then they can spend it any way they please if it's not hurting anyone else. It's their money.

I try not to hurt people, but yes, us INTJs are bad as hurting people without realising at times.
 
I was a long time ago but quit it. Lurked there earlier. It seems to be in an infinite loop. Wish it would break out.
 
I know of only one INTJ who I went to high school with... he is incredibly witty and I'm constantly laughing when we hang out. He lives for the experience of everything and does a lot of wacky things I wouldn't ever do. Good guy.
 
Out of curiosity this morning I browsed INTJf for a while. In public, like when they have a role as a teacher or something, I really like INTJs.
But on that forum, they came across as very cold and unforgiving. They seem to take every little joke and opinion as a personal threat, and respond by getting angry and defensive (often hypocritically).
It's very possible that I just saw the wrong parts, but I made a few different searches for random topics of my interest and that's what I saw.
 
I agree [MENTION=3671]ultrauber[/MENTION]; I didn't like INTJ forum either. Found the people to be too effing dreary for my taste.
 
intjf is run like a dictatorship and many though not all of the people are socially maladjusted people who think sociopathy and intjness are synonymous.
 
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