Why Would An INTP Stare Into An INFJ's Eyes?

onthewall said:
And as I've observed, INFJs are highly adept at delivering intentional meaning through facial cues, especially with sleight of eye.
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It's practically impossible for me to obscure my feeling through my facial expression. I don't know if other INFJs feel this also. There are times I remain silent, but then my facial expression gives my feelings away anyway, not that I'm aware of this at the time until someone comments on it.
 
infinite dreams said:
He did?? Erm...oh yeah, of course he did! This guy sounds like a real hero. :grinning:
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He is! :hearteyes:

lncdiyV.jpg
 
Milktoast Bandit said:
Damn INFJ's always seeking deeper meaning and deeper connections, yet often squandering such opportunities with mistrust and over-analyzing...and the moment ends...


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Very beautiful. I can hardly contain my love for dolphin safe tuna. :cry:

onthewall said:
Before most adjectives, this INTP is observant - a signal of what draws my interest and stokes my curiosity. And as I've observed, INFJs are highly adept at delivering intentional meaning through facial cues, especially with sleight of eye. It's like reading a good book whose pages turn at its own pace. When the page turns, I have to see what it says.
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For a 93 year old man I must say you've still got your wits about you.

The bolded part is exactly how I would describe the train incident.

Maybe he has a similar interest.
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I can't speak for him, but I do believe we share similar interests. We also make each other laugh a lot.

Maybe INTP like what he see.
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Possibly.

LittleLissa said:
It's practically impossible for me to obscure my feeling through my facial expression. I don't know if other INFJs feel this also. There are times I remain silent, but then my facial expression gives my feelings away anyway, not that I'm aware of this at the time until someone comments on it.
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If I'm annoyed it's obvious, however what @onthewall describes above is pretty spot on. I wouldn't exactly say my facial cue was consciously intentional, but who knows bc at times I do random things. During the train scene the INTP peeled another layer off and I do believe things have shifted in a positive way. He finds me amusing which I take as a compliment. The word itself can be taken a myriad of ways and I find it endearing.

Moving this thread to my blog.
 
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Serious reply alert

1. Why do people do this at all?
  • Concern
  • Fear
  • Infatuation
  • Intimidation
  • Adoration
  • Observation
  • Psychosis (You aren't you!)
  • Predation
  • Warm fuzzies
2. As an INTP, when I stare at a romantic partner who isn't an ESFP named Chr...e, I'm feeling empathy, concern, appreciation, love and warm fuzzies. I'm also wary because I'm afraid it's not real. I analyze facial expressions and body language to get a better read. I tend not to take conversations at face value; I break it all down. Tone, word choice, fragmentation, ambiguity vs. clarity -- I evaluate conversations like a critic evaluates a performance. None of this is to be critical. All of it is to figure out the truth. Basically, I don't get how someone could feel so strongly about me, so I need to be sure it's really "me" they like.

3. Personal: And, if I have doubts, I will either ask for clarification, issue warnings, and/or pull back both to avoid getting hurt and to give the other person a chance to really know me, not who they want me to be. So, I'm also scared and bracing myself. I observe and pull back into myself to get a panoramic view. I'm leery of being too close because I could miss a signal or expectation, and closeness clouds my thinking. I try to meet expectations to please the other person, too.


I don't even know how much of this is type-dependent.
 
Lurk said:
2. As an INTP, when I stare at a romantic partner who isn't an ESFP named Chr...e, I'm feeling empathy, concern, appreciation, love and warm fuzzies. I'm also wary because I'm afraid it's not real. I analyze facial expressions and body language to get a better read. I tend not to take conversations at face value; I break it all down. Tone, word choice, fragmentation, ambiguity vs. clarity -- I evaluate conversations like a critic evaluates a performance. None of this is to be critical. All of it is to figure out the truth. Basically, I don't get how someone could feel so strongly about me, so I need to be sure it's really "me" they like.

3. Personal: And, if I have doubts, I will either ask for clarification, issue warnings, and/or pull back both to avoid getting hurt and to give the other person a chance to really know me, not who they want me to be. So, I'm also scared and bracing myself. I observe and pull back into myself to get a panoramic view. I'm leery of being too close because I could miss a signal or expectation, and closeness clouds my thinking. I try to meet expectations to please the other person, too.
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This is all brilliantly insightful. Maybe it isn't type dependent but a lot of it certainly rings true for this fellow INTP.
 
OliOliOxenFree said:
I, myself, love staring into peoples eyes. I love the feeling of everything else around you suddenly being completely irrelevant and silent as you gaze into the windows of their soul. When you're with someone you love and you just take a few minutes to look them in the eye, you almost feel like you're connected spiritually, which is why people might like doing it.
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I like doing this too, for the same reasons. Even with people I don't feel romantically attracted to. But especially with people I feel romantically attracted to!
I find that with some people, direct eye contact feels more comfortable and natural than with others. I haven't quite totally figured out why that is, yet.
 
infinite dreams said:
This is all brilliantly insightful. Maybe it isn't type dependent but a lot of it certainly rings true for this fellow INTP.
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infinite dreams said:
This is all brilliantly insightful. Maybe it isn't type dependent but a lot of it certainly rings true for this fellow INTP.
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Nah, I just learned the power of staring from my ENTP friend. ty though ;)

She maintained -- unnervingly -- intense eye contact in order to assert her value as a person. I could see that she was always evaluating a situation, person, or interaction. A dog will also stare and observe its environment. So do SPs.

Her eyes were piercing; they were laser surgery grade. We talked about body language, too. I learned that crossing my leg in the direction of my conversation partner was an awesome way to express my interest in the topic.

Now, I've never found it easy to silence a verbose stranger. Early on, I point at my earbuds and shrug. As the person rattles on -- usually bragging or complaining, one-sided, monologue talking -- I may try "I'm sorry, WHAT?" Eventually I turn away and respond with rude, guttural grunts.

My friend would avoid all of that irritation and stress simply, "I don't want to talk. I'm busy." We both knew that the acoustic attacker used yapping as a weapon, or as a desperate grab for attention. At any rate, we both agreed we weren't objects (sounding boards). She taught me that assertiveness isn't rude.

Also, I never let a group hog the sidewalk now. If they make way, I push through the center. No more stepping aside.

In a romantic context, gazing into each others eyes is one of the most intimate acts possible. When a relationship ends, I do not look at the person's face if I can help it.

Remembering a past loved one's gaze is haunting, even gut wrenching. I try to avoid that intensity now.
 
Update-

Mr. INTP is still hanging in there like a champ! @highlighter, it's now been three months. Anything I should be concerned with at this point? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :blush:

Something did surprise me about INTP last weekend. I woke up at 3am to pee and upon my return I noticed he was awake and figured I must have woken him up. He appeared to be fixated on something so I pounced on him and asked, "whatcha doin?" I peered over his manly shoulder and he was on Facebook... again! :astonished: Seriously?! I mean I can't stand Fakebook, however it appears that Mr. INTP can't get enough. Oh well, not a deal breaker. I mean if that makes him happy so be it.

Awake again at 5 am bc the asshat next door was making a ton of noise. I looked over at INTP and he was once again fixated on something which once again aroused my curiosity. I figured he couldn't sleep due to the noise level and was watching STDSN (we were watching earlier) however to my shock and dismay he was playing with Snapchat filters. Oy. Wtf? :persevere: Now I do not have a PhD in INTP's as @highlighter does, but this doesn't seem like INTP behavior at all! He quickly turned his phone off, we fooled around a bit, then went back to sleep.

I haven't mentioned this to him and not sure if I will as he's his own person and I can live with his smartphone addictions. Also, I'm addicted to quizup, so I have no room to judge and he's otherwise an incredibly intelligent, caring, cuddly, sweet, loving grizzly bear who give the best hugs ever! :hug4:

Tbc...
 
ruji said:
tenor.gif
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I've been looking at this for five minutes straight and I think I am getting to closer to solving this mystery. Interesting you chose this gif because many situations I find myself in remind me of that long hallway. It must be a clue!
 
Happy Phantom said:
Update-

Mr. INTP is still hanging in there like a champ! @highlighter, it's now been three months. Anything I should be concerned with at this point? Any advice would be greatly appreciated. :blush:

Something did surprise me about INTP last weekend. I woke up at 3am to pee and upon my return I noticed he was awake and figured I must have woken him up. He appeared to be fixated on something so I pounced on him and asked, "whatcha doin?" I peered over his manly shoulder and he was on Facebook... again! :astonished: Seriously?! I mean I can't stand Fakebook, however it appears that Mr. INTP can't get enough. Oh well, not a deal breaker. I mean if that makes him happy so be it.

Awake again at 5 am bc the asshat next door was making a ton of noise. I looked over at INTP and he was once again fixated on something which once again aroused my curiosity. I figured he couldn't sleep due to the noise level and was watching STDSN (we were watching earlier) however to my shock and dismay he was playing with Snapchat filters. Oy. Wtf? :persevere: Now I do not have a PhD in INTP's as @highlighter does, but this doesn't seem like INTP behavior at all! He quickly turned his phone off, we fooled around a bit, then went back to sleep.

I haven't mentioned this to him and not sure if I will as he's his own person and I can live with his smartphone addictions. Also, I'm addicted to quizup, so I have no room to judge and he's otherwise an incredibly intelligent, caring, cuddly, sweet, loving grizzly bear who give the best hugs ever! :hug4:

Tbc...
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if I understand correctly 3 months is the time you all have been together? if so thats a very short amount of time INTPs can last YEARS and YEARS and still not know if they want that relationship, think of this....INTP lives in a fictional world of what is possible.........You dont. You as an INFJ u live in a world of Knowing what is gonna happen that is your Ni. ....INTPs will stick around someone friend or otherwise just to see how it all plays out. they are observers, but they never really DO anything .....or so they think....INTP is fully oblivious as to how their actions influence others, they have "perfect deniability" and OH dont you DARE try to hold them accountable for anything.... LOL.

In any case your INTPs behavior with the phone is actually VERY INTP. INTps like facebook and other social media, it allows them to portray an :image: of themselves, one which they have control over and they like that!! INTPs are freaking weird, awkward, mentally skewed, narcissistic, beings. they know this and the world knows this, THUS social media allows them to seem like normal functional humans and they love this! .....it also gives them the chance to make their lazy boring lives to look like they have meaning and that they are doing something.....aka TRAVEL......they totally suck at maintaining relationships, friends family love, etc. because it all requires A. Too much work and B. for them to actually acknowledge and meet the needs of another human........"a toddler does not meet the needs of the parent" this is the best quote for us to understand with INTPs and make no mistake you are dealing with a physical Adult..........and an Emotional toddler......

Good luck!!
 
highlighter said:
if I understand correctly 3 months is the time you all have been together? if so thats a very short amount of time INTPs can last YEARS and YEARS and still not know if they want that relationship, think of this....INTP lives in a fictional world of what is possible.........You dont. You as an INFJ u live in a world of Knowing what is gonna happen that is your Ni. ....INTPs will stick around someone friend or otherwise just to see how it all plays out. they are observers, but they never really DO anything .....or so they think....INTP is fully oblivious as to how their actions influence others, they have "perfect deniability" and OH dont you DARE try to hold them accountable for anything.... LOL.

In any case your INTPs behavior with the phone is actually VERY INTP. INTps like facebook and other social media, it allows them to portray an :image: of themselves, one which they have control over and they like that!! INTPs are freaking weird, awkward, mentally skewed, narcissistic, beings. they know this and the world knows this, THUS social media allows them to seem like normal functional humans and they love this! .....it also gives them the chance to make their lazy boring lives to look like they have meaning and that they are doing something.....aka TRAVEL......they totally suck at maintaining relationships, friends family love, etc. because it all requires A. Too much work and B. for them to actually acknowledge and meet the needs of another human........"a toddler does not meet the needs of the parent" this is the best quote for us to understand with INTPs and make no mistake you are dealing with a physical Adult..........and an Emotional toddler......

Good luck!!
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Don't be daft, man! Her bf is here on this forum. This thread went way over your head..
 
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