Hmm. Well, it really depends on how mature he is to determine if he's going to accept your gut feelings. If he cares enough for you, he will consider your feelings and, while not being logical, he'll probably try to help you and pin point the ones that are more feasible in real life. Also, feelings may not be logical, but they are rational. Men are creatures of rational thought, not rationally thinking creatures, so at a point he should understand that gut instincts and emotions are a part of everyone and that's what makes us uniquely human: Both the combination of thought and our natural components. Why is he attracted to you? I can't really tell you, theoretically speaking it's the fact that INTJs share both Fi and Te with INFPs (which mean they can understand each other fairly well) while having differing Ne and Si. Ironically, even though INFPs and INTJs tend to have conflicts with each other, we tend to balance each other out. INFPs expand the minds and interpretations of what the INTJs sees and the INTJ can see the multiple visions of the INFP and see which one is possible, and work towards making it a reality.
More or less, yes. Most INTJs can understand where an INFP is coming from, even if he or she doesn't agree with it. I think it's more than possible, it's a special connection that I both love and hate. I don't recall any other 'type' getting such a visceral emotional reaction out of me and although INTJs love to say they are robots, they really are emotional creatures. They tend to protect themselves from everyone and, as such, realize that when they open up to a particular person, they have a high chance of being hurt if something goes wrong. So, yes, I think it's possible for me to live with one!