NeverAmI

I miss you. I didn't know you well, but i liked you. And whenever I think about you, I can't help but be saddened and wonder why. I can only hope and pray that you're in a better place...

-r

You know, I look back at the forums, this place being my home...I still log in. But I realize now that your death had so much more of an impact on us that we ever would have realized. Such a sad event had an impact on all of us sensitive people. I stopped logging in. So did many others. We moved on with our lives, but I think, to a certain degree avoided here, because what happened was so sad and tragic it broke all of our hearts. It isn't your fault of course. But I look at that, and I remember how many people you made laugh, I remember the tinychats we all had...back then, it was great. These are some of the best memories I have, the closest friendships I've ever had with people online, the longest lasting relationships. I wonder sometimes what the forum would be like if you were still here. I wish desperately that we had all grown closer, packed together, not given up. But we all just withdrew....it's not what you would have wanted. You were the first taste of death I ever encountered. I remember crying for days. Randomly, I'd break down crying. It was funny because I didn't really know you, but then, you were so very important to the forum, you just don't realize how important you were. When you died, I asked someone on youtube to make a video about suicide...I was trying to cope. Anyway, not too long after you passed, my sister had bouts with the same issues. I am so glad she didn't succeed. I still have you on my last.fm; I won't ever delete you. I still think it's kinda funny that the last song you scrobbled was Lil' Wayne – Lollipop. I don't know what I'm typing anymore. I'll leave it there.

I guess you must have been in a dream last night, because I've been thinking about you today. I miss talking to you, and I could really use some cheering up right now.

everything changes... wish you were still here...

I still remember something you said or wrote about friendship. I don't remember the exact words but I think you said something like friends aren't perfect and you can't always depend on them to be everything to you. They are imperfect and it probably isn't fair to expect everything of them. People can only be who or what they can be and sometimes, that's enough. Thanks. *raises coffee cup to remember a great member*

Happy Solstice, John : )
You are shining really brightly up there tonight

Happy New Year, John.

It's lonely being a two-headed Rhino with only one head. =/

Miss you bud.

Stumbled upon one of your posts again today by accident and it threw me for a loop for a minute. Reading it felt like you just posted this yesterday and gave me the impression that if I replied, you'd respond. It's nice to pretend that sometimes.

Gosh, John. I miss you

I know we had our differences from time to time, but I respected you and your thoughts, and I hope you're okay, wherever you are.

Happy Birthday!!! Hope you and grandma are having cake along with the gallons of coffee you two are undoubtedly going through! <3

So, You showed up in my dreams again. It was a normal dream. I was sitting around playing some random table top game with my usual friends and you were there. It was kind of like you had always been there and I just hadn't noticed.

I miss you man!

<3 Caitlin

know we didn't talk much, but i miss you.

Your profile pic still makes me smile

You crossed my mind again. You always had such a jolly laugh and the absolute best expressions. It was so great to joke around with you; you could banter with me like nobody else. Miss you <3

Did you ever notice that the Goebel's farm on the way in to Vincent has a bunch of alpacas? I giggle a little every time I drive past there on my way home from Fort Dodge.

I am sorry you went through so much. I hope you have peace where you are. forum friend forever. jello fights will never be the same

And oh hey, I just freaked out 'cause I thought someone changed your avatar but that's just your profile pic. Darn, you and your wormhole coffee cup. lol

Hi John. I don't have anything to say, just that I'm thinking about you again. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at llamas ( okay, okay, alpacas) the same way ever. Miss you, my friend.