I know what you mean too about knowing he was gone before officially finding out. That morning, I had a weird sense that something was wrong but I couldn't place it...along with a strange pain in my chest...(sounds cheesy but it's 100% true). There was another strange occurance like that back when he had his motorcycle accident. I was working in the ER area that night and somehow, when the ambulance was called out, I just knew it was him. I have no idea how, but I knew. When the medics pulled him out of the ambulance I had the weirdest feeling of shock (both from the fact that my intuition was correct and from the situation itself) and I remember when the Medic walked past me and said they didn't have a name (because I was working in patient registration so that was my job, to get their name and other details) I could barely manage to tell him "I already know, it's my brother". Needless to say, his face turned white. That was one crazy night, to say the least.