Skarekrow

*blushes madly and preens*

Thank you! You are always so positive and kind!

I'm done in from the Magic Show Event I held for the families last night. Still feeling the energies today. So I can totally understand "must sleep".

Oh that would be wonderful, but can I get a rain check? I have a 4 hr. lecture/lab tomorrow, and I want to wait until something really pressing is on my mind and the energy is there. Hopefully my question and your availability for a reading will line up! You are so awesome!

I can empathize with your circumstance better than most seeing as I've been disabled my entire life. It is a bit of a different animal to have and then lost, however. But this brings me back to my original point which was acceptance. You can spend the rest of your life fighting against your circumstance, or you can accept it and learn to adapt and work around it. Accept. Adjust. Adapt. It's what all successful people do anyway. You are physically disabled but you are far less intellectually and emotionally disabled than a lot of people out there. C'mon man. lol sorry, I've become the pep talker type that I despise so much. You don't need a pep talk, you need a workable itinerary of a solution.

And even assuming you are some kind of royal fuck up (no you're not) you'll never move forward from a behavioral loop if you don't try to understand where you went wrong, how to improve and forgive yourself for making mistakes which is what every human does. If you assume people aren't walking around totally fucking things up every day then you do not understand the way of the world my friend lol.

A lot of it has to do with your locus of control. Again I don't really know your circumstances or anything, maybe you've fucked up a lot of stuff but I really don't get the feeling that you have been any more harmful to your compatriots or kin than anyone else and I would argue that if you were to examine other's behavior in earnest your behavior would fall far on to the positive effect side. I know (believe me) how easy it is to be self-critical and have a drive toward perfection with regards to having the ability and means to help my fellow humans, but you simply cannot compare your own ability (or lack thereof) to another human with an entirely different set of circumstances and scope of the world.

Y'know from what I hear booze and pills go great together. So go nuts.
Wow, sounds like god's got quite the vendetta against your family.
Well my uncle is the fourth person in my family to get it, so my odds probably aren't much better.

I think maybe what might help you is working on some acceptance. I don't know you or your problems really, but you seem to unjustly give yourself a lot of grief. You could be completely immobile and cantankerous as all hell and your family would still love you because you are a nice dude. Anyway just my general feeling, apologies if I'm being too forward.

No prob!

Yeah, I got that feeling. I've always found it weird people ascribing human traits to cancer so as to vilify it, but I'm starting to understand. Fuck cancer.
I'm glad you've come to a measure of peace with it.

With those kinds of genes, you really should be drinking more heavily. I'm very worried about your low levels of booze so I'm prescribing you a shot of vodka, followed by a naggin of scotch to be taken twice daily.

Welcome

Well by Irish standards, that's the bare minimum each citizen is supposed to drink.

I really like whiskey and because I'm afraid of becoming an alcohol I limit my intake to 1 - 2 nights a week. Because of that a bottle usually lasts me around a month. So it's something you could try if you're getting worried.
I don't think 2 bottles is that bad. If it gets to the stage where feel like you really need it then it might be a problem. Or you just need to switch to something harder to drown out those thoughts.

Yeah, I think that's how everyone is trying to see it. Just try to take the future as it comes and hope for the best.
I know I've said it before, but thanks again for all the advice and support. You're a good friend.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad. Is he still with you?
I can only imagine how hard it'd be to hear that. To see him like that. If he has passed on, then I really hope you get to meet him again somewhere.

Yeah, I do. But I'm used to some thumbing every single thing I post down, whether that be a cat gif, a story about my kids, or religious debate. Maybe it's just used more casually for some, and I'm talking it the wrong way. Either way, I still think it's definitely strange.

Unfortunately I couldn't get a more detailed diagnosis. Nobody asked first day about the type or stage. I think part of it is out of fear, if it's type 3c then the 5 year survival rate is only 50% (probably closer to 40 if other factors are taken into account). Type 4 and you're kinda screwed. I suppose we also felt in the begining that his chances were good so there wasn't much need to find out more.

Yea it should be fixed now. I just got back on and replied to you before I read info about it being fixed heh. Was gonna let you know, but you beat me hah.

Yea it's being worked on. Thanks for the intel though!

I like your new avatar btw. Maybe it's not that new lol but it's cool.

Thank you