What I feel is pain and anger and fear. It has nothing to do with any kind of moderator status. I want my words. It's always been about my words. Everyday I hope that the data of this server is lost, or that DJ doesn't want to run it anymore and just shuts it down and it is because I have this time limit on the words I post here. I feel betrayed by people I thought I could call friends, they don't care about me as a person or about my real life privacy or my life, all they care about is upholding some rule so nothing could possibly go wrong in an argument in an environment that is made up and fake anyway. I hate this feeling. I wish I could find a way to get better, but I don't know how.