I agree with a lot of what she said depending on preference. I don't really see a lot wrong with it, except for her strange expectation that 'elite' or 'rich' men would necessarily be synonymous with 'gentlemen'. I've met several men who could be considered 'elite', and their personalities were abhorrent and contrary to what would be considered gentlemanly. I've met many men who weren't well-off, and they were some of the most endearing and down to Earth men I've ever met.
1. It depends on his expectations. If he wants to have a family, a clean/organized home, food on the table by 6, his woman to be dressed to the nines or well-groomed, etc.; then, he should know that a lot of that is going to require his financial assistance to meet expectation. If you are just dating though, I'd say that 50/50 is entirely feasible and reasonable. If I'm only dating a man, I'd never expect him to provide. However, if I'm committed to a man, I do expect that he'd provide and look out for family above self in terms of finances (ex: not going out to purchase a boat with the money, when there are bills to pay). That said, if he's fiscally responsible while dating, chances are he will be fiscally responsible when married. It is something that is important to me, being debt free and managing finances well. I also think once you are committed, it is no longer 'my money' 'his money', but 'our money'. When you think that way, then you can budget together, dream/envision the future together, and invest together. The burden then is on both, and I find that is essential for partnership.
2. I've seen this happen to someone I worked with. She stayed with her boyfriend for 15 years, and he kept telling her he wasn't ready for marriage or children. She ended up breaking up with him because he was incapable of follow-through. Some men are afraid of settling down because they are afraid of divorce or don't want to be a statistic, yet they never risk commitment. She said she felt like she wasted her youth on his promises that never came true. A man who is true to his word, proves it in his actions.
3. I agree with a lot of this. If he's not pursuing you, then he's too comfortable. Comfort=stagnation. Women need romance, and to feel like they are wanted in relationship. I think men need this too, so it can be a problem if either person isn't putting forth an effort. It can be disheartening to put a lot of effort into your appearance for a date or put a lot of work in crafting an experience, and the man isn't even trying or never reciprocates. There should be a balance where each person is putting forth an effort.
4. I think this is important. If you don't have anything to talk about, then it becomes dull and monotonous. There should be some similarity of interests. However, I don't expect a man to share all of my same interests. I want some time alone, and I'd want him to have time alone or with his friends. If he has interests that he cultivates or focuses on that's great. I'd support that (even if it were video games), and I'd hope he'd support mine. Again, balance.
5. I don't expect a man to open a door for me, to give me his jacket (he might be cold too, and it's my responsibility to remember mine), or to pull out my chair. I do expect respect and kindness. The latter thing she mentioned about selfish sex is a big deal, and is a problem. Women need time to get in the mood or in a rhythm, and if it's over before that happens, then she's not getting the same experience, even if he's fully satisfied each time. Effort is necessary. Become a student of your partner. Sex isn't always about finishing, but is about connection. If each person's goal is to fully satisfy the other, then both are content. Who wouldn't want that?
6. Experienced this, and it sucks. Men who belittle women, need serious help. If he's making you feel like you're insane for everything you do, then chances are you aren't the problem. No one should be so disrespected. Same goes for women who belittle men or talk down to them. Lift your man up, encourage him, be his number one fan. Hopefully, he will reciprocate when you need it.
7. I don't tolerate this. Going out to bars and clubs is for single men or women to pick someone up. If he specifically doesn't want you to come along, then he's probably wanting to be free to flirt and dance with other women out of your sight. Not okay. When you commit to someone, you take them with you to places that singles frequent or you don't go. However, I don't have a problem with guy's nights playing poker, or video games. Men need each other.
