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Honest criticism maybe (although I feel that some try to act like they can take it) but conflict is a big no-no.
Are infj's likeable?
- Thread starter donkeybals
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Honest criticism maybe (although I feel that some try to act like they can take it) but conflict is a big no-no.
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Honest criticism when it is a critique against something regarding my character or integrity is a hard pill for me to swallow, but I still want it. But I'd be lying if I said I took it easily. I brood and think on it for a while, but I tend to get over it rather quickly as long as I can think through what is really happening instead of letting my emotions get the better of me. Which I do think I am better at now than I used to be.
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I found out that bit about being well liked but not knowing it was some what true in high school for me, apparently. I ran into quite a few people who I thought never gave two thoughts about me, but they admitted to me later on that they thought I was really awesome and interesting but were somehow "intimidated" by me or something. I guess my quietness came off as stand offish. Of course, in some cases back then, it probably was. I was and still am honestly pretty angsty at times.
donkeybals
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Maybe it's because I'm an infj myself. 
But all the infj's I've come across in this forum give me the impression of fun loving and care free, and thus likeable from my perspective.
But all the infj's I've come across in this forum give me the impression of fun loving and care free, and thus likeable from my perspective.
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INFJs care free?Maybe it's because I'm an infj myself.
Hmm I dunno about that.
Reon
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[MENTION=2648]magister343[/MENTION] Could you explain further? I would think that Ti, when it comes to outside knowledge or criticism, would be a little more resistant against change. Or are you implying that Ti has a easier time with criticism because it has Fe as a counter balance? Or maybe I'm taking everything you said out of context lol.
donkeybals
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INFJs care free?
Hmm I dunno about that.
Haha. I had a feeling someone would comment on the care free comment. Perhaps a bad choice in words. Moreso playful and light. But that's more often than not, in times of comfort, at least for me.
Candice_XX
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Maybe you mean popular? Being in the centre of the party? No, I don't think people like catalysts for change to party with.
As for likeability in personal relationships... At least I know one person out of the family who likes me. I know more that don't like me. I know some people were feeling pity for me, and that bothers me. But for sure I don't know one who does not respect me in the long term. Does that count?
As for likeability in personal relationships... At least I know one person out of the family who likes me. I know more that don't like me. I know some people were feeling pity for me, and that bothers me. But for sure I don't know one who does not respect me in the long term. Does that count?
Razare
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Whether you like criticism and conflict is going to depend on the INFJ you are. I would say that inherently, our emotional side rejects these behaviors. Yet here's the thing, Fe and Ti do not always agree.
We can learn to cope with criticism and conflict to the point of appreciating it I think. My emotional side always hates conflict, but I don't listen to my emotional side that often. I tend to favor Ti a lot of the time. So when someone is wrong, they're wrong, and I usually point it out to them if I have any vested-interest in what they're doing.
I hate it when I'm wrong, but I expect people to point it out to me as well. If they're right, I usually concede in the end.
I wouldn't say conflict makes me feel all giddy inside, but I may create conflict in order to improve how things are being done. Doing this causes problems for me, as I think I don't show enough initial appreciation for the person before I begin my critical remarks. Stuff like this is why I went around thinking I was an INTP for so many years.
INFJ's are so varied it's difficult to say we are this or that because as soon as you do, there's one of us in some gray area of the personality. This is possible because of Ni being what it is, with it there are infinite possibilities for our personality. Even more so considering it is followed by Fe, rather than a restrictive function like Te.
We can learn to cope with criticism and conflict to the point of appreciating it I think. My emotional side always hates conflict, but I don't listen to my emotional side that often. I tend to favor Ti a lot of the time. So when someone is wrong, they're wrong, and I usually point it out to them if I have any vested-interest in what they're doing.
I hate it when I'm wrong, but I expect people to point it out to me as well. If they're right, I usually concede in the end.
I wouldn't say conflict makes me feel all giddy inside, but I may create conflict in order to improve how things are being done. Doing this causes problems for me, as I think I don't show enough initial appreciation for the person before I begin my critical remarks. Stuff like this is why I went around thinking I was an INTP for so many years.
INFJ's are so varied it's difficult to say we are this or that because as soon as you do, there's one of us in some gray area of the personality. This is possible because of Ni being what it is, with it there are infinite possibilities for our personality. Even more so considering it is followed by Fe, rather than a restrictive function like Te.
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To answer the question posed in the title of this thread, I have to say that personally I don't think you can lump us all together like that. Yes, we have similar personalities but we're all different in our own special ways and have different ways of relating to others. Generally I've found that INFJs are pretty likeable, the ones I've met anyway. :thumb:
Deridaburi
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It doesn't seem possible to label an entire type as likable or not. From my experience with dating one and having one for a friend for nearly three years I can give you an impression of what I subjectively like and and find annoying.
I have found that they are extremely empathetic and will always attempt to help people they care about, even to the point of hurting themselves. They also hold a high value for the truth which is extremely attractive. The only complaint I have is the contradiction when it comes to conflict. They often say that they want honest criticism, but when it actually comes to taking honest criticism it leads to over emotional and personal banter. Often the blatant truth is too much for them to handle if it pertains to them. If a discussion strays to something too personal they can easily be offended and wind up reverting to logical fallacies in order to justify themselves. It seems that the beliefs they have are held above cold facts. Bias towards or against something can be nearly unchangeable. They also worry to an extreme amount and often are unable to relax. Which leads to the need for validation, which has been discussed repeatedly elsewhere I'm sure.
Anyways, that is my 2
I have found that they are extremely empathetic and will always attempt to help people they care about, even to the point of hurting themselves. They also hold a high value for the truth which is extremely attractive. The only complaint I have is the contradiction when it comes to conflict. They often say that they want honest criticism, but when it actually comes to taking honest criticism it leads to over emotional and personal banter. Often the blatant truth is too much for them to handle if it pertains to them. If a discussion strays to something too personal they can easily be offended and wind up reverting to logical fallacies in order to justify themselves. It seems that the beliefs they have are held above cold facts. Bias towards or against something can be nearly unchangeable. They also worry to an extreme amount and often are unable to relax. Which leads to the need for validation, which has been discussed repeatedly elsewhere I'm sure.
Anyways, that is my 2
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