Ask me anything, and I'll be sure to give you valuable help. You can trust me on this.

I find few things more disrespectful than unsolicited advice.

It's like an affront to personal sovereignty and peerhood, but it's usually delivered by absolute muppets anyway so easily dismissed.

I think one of the biggest myths on the internet is that INFJs 'should' go around attempting to give advice, rather than just waiting for their people to come to them and ask. If there's no interpersonal affinity, the advice is typically way off base and replete with inappropriate projection and incompatible values.


How would you advise someone would go about engaging in whistleblowing in their workplace?
 
I have a couple of friends who are a therapists. They also happen to both be INFJs. Their greatest skill is listening to people and really listening and understanding. They walk with them on their journey. They don't give instructions they don't tell them what to do. They walk together and help them find their own solutions and to give themselves the truth that they already know inside them
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
I find few things more disrespectful than unsolicited advice.

It's like an affront to personal sovereignty and peerhood, but it's usually delivered by absolute muppets anyway so easily dismissed.

I think one of the biggest myths on the internet is that INFJs 'should' go around attempting to give advice, rather than just waiting for their people to come to them and ask. If there's no interpersonal affinity, the advice is typically way off base and replete with inappropriate projection and incompatible values.


How would you advise someone would go about engaging in whistleblowing in their workplace?
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I had to google the term "whistleblowing", as I hadn't heard it before. I doubt I'd give the best advice on things of a nature I have nothing to say about. Even if I were an expert on whistleblowing, I don't think there's any "correct" way to do it, as people all have different strengths and weaknesses. I would do it in the most effective way I could think of, with the equation including my personal strengths and weaknesses, and without knowing those of another, I can't really advise them on the subject.
 
Aneirin said:
I have a couple of friends who are a therapists. They also happen to both be INFJs. Their greatest skill is listening to people and really listening and understanding. They walk with them on their journey. They don't give instructions they don't tell them what to do. They walk together and help them find their own solutions and to give themselves the truth that they already know inside them
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Well I mean, they are therapists, so that is to be expected. I am more interested in the objective state of the human brain, which is why I bring up psychobiology. I can speak about the universal traits of the INFJ, but I would not claim to be able to deal with psychologically traumatized patients without getting fired.
 
Jopetzki said:
I had to google the term "whistleblowing", as I hadn't heard it before. I doubt I'd give the best advice on things of a nature I have nothing to say about. Even if I were an expert on whistleblowing, I don't think there's any "correct" way to do it, as people all have different strengths and weaknesses. I would do it in the most effective way I could think of, with the equation including my personal strengths and weaknesses, and without knowing those of another, I can't really advise them on the subject.
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Hey, man, you said I could trust you.

God dammit.

I guess I'll just have to default to wikileaks and Russian exile.
 
mintoots said:
willing vulnerability is something only the youth would celebrate.
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giphy.gif

Ew, Feelers
How dare you generalise a generation of my peers, I'm offended and hurt. I'm off to Twitter
 
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Asa said:
I don't trust you yet, either.
I haven't decided if you're OK.
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giphy.gif


Asa said:
It's also ridiculous to hop into a social group dominated by Ni-doms and suggest you are more insightful than we are. We are immune to your powers.
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That was kinda my concern here (as others had voiced the same basically), but @Jopetzki seems super chill about everything

:mthumb3:
 
Jopetzki said:
Yeah, so - whatever you want: be it practical advice for acute relationship situations, or generally valuable and psychobiologically-based information that could help optimize your life, I'm your man.
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hey ! just an over excited fellow ENFP passing by like always I've been overthinking about something, and yes this is about love !
I have been friends with this girl (INFJ) from the past 3 years and I guess she knows pretty good about myself but I can't say the same though she shared her side of the story in few chunks and I respect that. She's the cinnamon roll of my college and is my only close friend in my department. In the past I didn't think our friendship would turn up to be this value to me but it did, and cuz I was an odd one out in my college and I felt I am not worthy of love but she thought of me as a friend since her first birthday in college when I cooked pasta for her ( wasn't big deal for me I did that for everyone). In the past few months I think I started to develop feeling for her and few days ago I revealed my feelings for her but she said she never thought the same as I do and she thinks of me as a good friend and didn't want to make things awkward. I accepted her feelings cuz I truly love her even though it's sad for me. But things are still bothering me somewhere cuz 1) she knew that I had feelings for her before totally confessing cuz I had tagged in love posts in IG and I had hinted that.
BUT I TRUELY WANT TO KNOW IS THERE ANY CHANCE THAT SHE MAY CHANGE HER MIND ? I mean I don't know what she was going through or what she felt that time due to which she rejected me
 
Arindum said:
hey ! just an over excited fellow ENFP passing by like always I've been overthinking about something, and yes this is about love !
I have been friends with this girl (INFJ) from the past 3 years and I guess she knows pretty good about myself but I can't say the same though she shared her side of the story in few chunks and I respect that. She's the cinnamon roll of my college and is my only close friend in my department. In the past I didn't think our friendship would turn up to be this value to me but it did, and cuz I was an odd one out in my college and I felt I am not worthy of love but she thought of me as a friend since her first birthday in college when I cooked pasta for her ( wasn't big deal for me I did that for everyone). In the past few months I think I started to develop feeling for her and few days ago I revealed my feelings for her but she said she never thought the same as I do and she thinks of me as a good friend and didn't want to make things awkward. I accepted her feelings cuz I truly love her even though it's sad for me. But things are still bothering me somewhere cuz 1) she knew that I had feelings for her before totally confessing cuz I had tagged in love posts in IG and I had hinted that.
BUT I TRUELY WANT TO KNOW IS THERE ANY CHANCE THAT SHE MAY CHANGE HER MIND ? I mean I don't know what she was going through or what she felt that time due to which she rejected me
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to be honest it doesn't hurt cuz I was rejected by a girl, it hurts because I was rejected by a good human being.
 
Arindum said:
hey ! just an over excited fellow ENFP passing by like always I've been overthinking about something, and yes this is about love !
I have been friends with this girl (INFJ) from the past 3 years and I guess she knows pretty good about myself but I can't say the same though she shared her side of the story in few chunks and I respect that. She's the cinnamon roll of my college and is my only close friend in my department. In the past I didn't think our friendship would turn up to be this value to me but it did, and cuz I was an odd one out in my college and I felt I am not worthy of love but she thought of me as a friend since her first birthday in college when I cooked pasta for her ( wasn't big deal for me I did that for everyone). In the past few months I think I started to develop feeling for her and few days ago I revealed my feelings for her but she said she never thought the same as I do and she thinks of me as a good friend and didn't want to make things awkward. I accepted her feelings cuz I truly love her even though it's sad for me. But things are still bothering me somewhere cuz 1) she knew that I had feelings for her before totally confessing cuz I had tagged in love posts in IG and I had hinted that.
BUT I TRUELY WANT TO KNOW IS THERE ANY CHANCE THAT SHE MAY CHANGE HER MIND ? I mean I don't know what she was going through or what she felt that time due to which she rejected me
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Hmm... I am sorry to say that the title of the thread is actually quite misleading, and it was a very specific area (the mechanism of affective empathy) wherein I could truly be of help. However, I shall offer my thoughts, although I will want to think about your scenario first.

I shall already make the disclaimer, that MBTI is pseudoscience, and I am sure she is not flaunting any official diagnosis for F60.3 INFJ. It must also be noted, that everyone is an individual with different strengths of each "static" trait, and different experiences through which they have gone. And the most important thing: I really don't have much data on you two. Therefore, it may be somewhat difficult for me to say much with certainty about scenarios of such levels of complexity.
 
Jopetzki said:
Hmm... I am sorry to say that the title of the thread is actually quite misleading, and it was a very specific area (the mechanism of affective empathy) wherein I could truly be of help. However, I shall offer my thoughts, although I will want to think about your scenario first.

I shall already make the disclaimer, that MBTI is pseudoscience, and I am sure she is not flaunting any official diagnosis for F60.3 INFJ. It must also be noted, that everyone is an individual with different strengths of each "static" trait, and different experiences through which they have gone. And the most important thing: I really don't have much data on you two. Therefore, it may be somewhat difficult for me to say much with certainty about scenarios of such levels of complexity.
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It's fine I think I just wanted to be part of a productive conversation to take my mind off and maybe cuz I needed few answers. I am truly sorry if I caused any sort of awkwardness here.
 
Arindum said:
It's fine I think I just wanted to be part of a productive conversation to take my mind off and maybe cuz I needed few answers. I am truly sorry if I caused any sort of awkwardness here.
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You didn't. This forum is full of people that come here to ask this type of advice, and some even stick around because they like us so much. :)
 
April said:
You didn't. This forum is full of people that come here to ask this type of advice, and some even stick around because they like us so much. :)
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well I think deep conversations takes away the weight on ones chest. I am still getting used to rejection lol. It's kinda funny and sad situation for me where I feel sad for myself and happy for other person, maybe cuz this is the first time I am not obsessing over someone. World works in funny way.
 
Sloe Djinn said:
Respect her feelings and let her be. If she ever changes her mind it might take time, but there is no magical key to override her clearly stated boundary.
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Though I did said to her that It's fine if she's not able to return the same feelings which I have for her, and whether she says yes or no I'll still be her friend who loves to annoy her for no reason at all.
 
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