Attention INFJ Males : [borrowed]

1) Where are you likely to be found outside of the Internet?

Bookstore, museum, hiking would be my answers, but these days I've hooked up with a good set of friends, so I'm more likely to be in a small group of people.

2) How does one recognize you in public?

(really, I'm not cut-pasting someone else's response). I'm the quite one listening and nervously smiling.

3) How would one go about attracting you?

Be patient and direct. I'll eventually get the point. Friendly physical touch goes a long way, as do simple, nonspecific and nonsexual affirmations.


4)how do INFJ boys/men go about showing their interest and how do they approach women they are interested in?[/QUOTE]

Dysfunctional as it is, I usually sit there and let the pressure build until I feel like the timer is about to run out, and then I'll ask women out clearly and directly, usually after I get to know them and I'm certain that they're at least not going to say ewww.
 
1) Where are you likely to be found outside of the Internet?

Coffee shops. Videogame stores. Bookstores. Libraries.

2) How does one recognize you in public?

Nose buried in some work of weird esoterism. Blatant disregard for fashion, personal hygiene. Subtle but unique looking. Plenty to talk about, once you get them going.


3) How would one go about attracting you?

Take an interest in their intellect. Show them you have a fierce intellect of your own. Tell them cool, interesting bits of knowledge they don't already know. Make point to show HOW and WHY it is you're into them. We INFJ's like to be recognized for our "uniqueness and individuality as a human being" etc.

Question Added on Request:

4)how do INFJ boys/men go about showing their interest and how do they approach women they are interested in?

In my experience they're horrible at this. Usually alcohol helps.
 
So INFJ guys, the ladies are interested and curious to know...

1) Where are you likely to be found outside of the Internet?
Cinemas, Sports Events, Small arty cafes, Veg Cafes.

2) How does one recognize you in public?
If in motion it will be swiftly, faster than the rest with confidence, more than likely alone and with my ipod headphones in. In a group I'll be the person listening and observing the conversations or waiting for a pause in the dialogue as I'll hardly ever but in even when I have something particularly interesting to say. I'll also usually just wait for someone to ask me what i think directly. In even larger groups I'll be trying to stick with 1-1 conversations as thats where I feel comfortable unless I am with a lot of close friends where I'll be completely at ease and confident.

3) How would one go about attracting you?
Make it easy. If you start the conversation I'll be delighted you've made an effort and will try my best to ensure a meaningful conversation and show interest. I'm pretty much never going to approach someone I don't know, although I have moments of sheer courage and determination. This usually comes after pre meditated thinking and logic where I have thought about what to do and have weighed up pros and cons. Just be interested, easy going and funny. I only take a few minutes to warm up and once the icy exterior has been broken I'm a thick luxurious hot chocolate, lol.

4)how do INFJ boys/men go about showing their interest and how do they approach women they are interested in?
If we've not talked it'll likely be an simple thing like adding as a friend on a social site, or once talking I may make an excuse as to why I may need your number. If I'm actually confident you're single (which I usually doubt) I'll ask up front for a number and converse with slightly probing questions that let me know how compatible interests are. I'll easily set up a date of sorts which involves chatting to build up a rapport as a friend but will try to drop in comments which let you know I dont just want to be friends as its a hard battle to not stay on the 'friendship boat' once it has sailed.
 
1) Where are you likely to be found outside of the Internet?

I have eccentric interests, so there are all sorts of places I might be found, such as bookstores, coffee shops, art stores, comic shops, and various restaurants. However, I tend to go to the same places, and most importantly when I do venture out, I'm usually with the same small group of friends. If I find a 'hang out' that I feel comfortable (good vibe, intellectual conversation, harmony, shared interests) and welcomed (sincerely wanted, and glad to see me, a desire for my company), I will likely hang out there a lot, but once something makes me uncomfortable or unwelcome, I usually stop going. Unfortunately, I don't get out much otherwise, and when I leave my own place it is usually to go to one of my friends' places, so I don't interact with the public much, other than when I am working or fueling one of my nerdy hobbies.

2) How does one recognize you in public?

I don't dress especially obvious. I tend to wear comfortable, casual, and unobtrusive clothing that has a harmonious feeling to me. Solid colors, usually neutral. I've never been comfortable with clothes that encourage others to make assumptions about me, or draw undue attention to me. However, I've been told that I have a very unique presence, and that I have a vibe that people pick up on. I use my ability to sense vibes in other people as a way to decide who I want to get to know, and the people I prefer to associate with seem to do the same (at least on some level). So, the best way to recognize me in public is my presence, vibe, energy. I've been told it is strong but calming, warm and safe, sometimes a bit playful but always harmonious. However, I've also been told that I look right through people, and many find it uncomfortable, so I try not to stare.

3) How would one go about attracting you?

Be sweet, kind, sincere, and project a vibe that creates harmony. After appearances, to which I am most attracted to taller, thinner women with sharp features with long pretty hair who have a casual cleanliness about them, I focus on a woman's vibe. If they seem like someone who can create the sort of harmonious energies I crave, and I get the sense that I can truly make them happy, then I am intensely attracted. Be clean, comfortable, and smell nice. Present yourself in a way that shows me you'd be great to just cuddle up next to and watch a movie without any expectations other than the harmony and beauty of the moment. What would really attract me is if a woman could do all of these things and be interested in the sorts of things I am interested in, and see them the way I see them. For example, I love anmie, sci fi, fantasy, superheroes, etc. for reasons I can't quite put into words, other than I love how it makes me feel. If a woman also loved these kinds of shows and tapped into that quality that I can't describe, then we could share something deeply special that I could never explain to her otherwise. It would show me that she sees the world the way I do, and as a person who sees the world in such an uncommon way, nothing is more comforting because it says to me that she 'gets me'.

4) How do you go about showing their interest and how do you approach women you are interested in?

This is a real problem for me. When I am sincerely interested in a woman, I have a lot of trouble making any clear moves, for fear of making her uncomfortable. I don't act the same around women I am attracted to as I do other women. I go out of my way not to smother them, and when I am around them I go out of my way to project warmth and harmony to make them feel better. If I can, I'll briefly visit them or call them once a day or so, and try to make their day brighter. Sometimes I'll bring them a little gardenia like some candy from my candy bowl at work, or a small stuffed animal from the dollar bin at a check out lane. I'm always on the lookout for ways to serve them, and will happily do favors for them that most people would not, like go around the corner and buy them a cup of coffee because they can't leave their desk, or offer to give them a ride if it seems like they need one. With women I'm attracted to, I'm always more of a gentleman than I am to everyone, to the point of being chivalrous. I always open doors, not just when it would be easy to do, but rather I'll go out of my way to get the door for a woman I am interested in, walk all the way around the car to unlock and open her door first, rather than use the power locks from my side before I get in. But, as I mentioned, I am very reluctant to make bold moves, so I rarely ask a woman out on a date. I'm subtle with my invitations, because I assume that if a woman likes me, she'll be looking for an excuse to spend time with me and accept an offer that doesn't seem like a date. So far, this has worked fairly well, because women who are expecting more rigid formalities don't seem to have the capacity to appreciate me for who I am.
 
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1) Where are you likely to be found outside of the Internet?

Right now with everything in a kind of fluid situation I can't really say. I can say that you'd likely meet me somewhere that I'm participating in an interest of mine or an institution I'm part of (out running around the lake, work, or in church). Everywhere else my guard is up, I don't want to meet people, not that I won't, but you'll have to make a strong impression.

2) How does one recognize you in public?

That's hard, I try not to be recognized in public. Usually I'll stick out as being unusually quiet if I'm alone or at large social gathering. Otherwise I generally stick with and blend in with my friends (who by the way are a great way to get introduced to me by).

3) How would one go about attracting you?

I'm really attracted to strong-willed and self-sufficient women, but a must for me has got to be a willingness to be authentic about your emotions. Also important, I like simply being able to engage with someone intellectually. It's important for me to be around people who can keep up with my wild ideas and need to sharpen my thoughts on others. Just don't be smothering, and don't expect the relationship to develop with blinding speed.

4) How do INFJ boys/men go about showing their interest and how do they approach women they are interested in?

If I'm interested, you'll generally get me to open up and share my feelings with you. I'll share thoughts with a complete stranger, but how I actually feel about someone or when I'm around someone that's for when it's actually special. It won't be direct, but it'll be something. I will make a move, later than normal probably, and attempt to pull together a date. The asking won't be refined, and more often than not it will be rather shy and insecure (heck, it may even be a date disguised as something else), but the date itself I'll probably have thought out pretty well. What'll make my interest obvious, though, is that I'll single you out, and treat you different from other women in my life.
 
Bored Now said:
Damn that must suck. How do any of you ever find women? It must be REALLY difficult to be an INFJ guy on the prowl. There's something quite endearing about that, actually.
Click to expand...

I'm going to have to second all of that.

Although I doubt most of them have women probing them for "mating purposes." This thread was considerably less creepy than its counterpart directed at INFJ females.
 
1)hmm probably not a whole lot of places. in a classroom setting im usually near a corner or at least a wall... other than that, the library or bookstore. maybe an electronics store occasionally. other than that, im at home.

2) hmmm, i try not to be that recognized. though at school my "identity" either seems to be "a smart guy" or "the one with the identical twin-yeah i can't tell you apart"

3)really im hesitant about approaching people and can be especially shy about approaching females. so most likely you would be the one to start the conversation, unless i found something that we had in common. smiles and showing your eyes won't hurt :).

4) i don't really? as i said earlier, pretty hesitant about approaching. i might strike up a conversation but it's probably a rarity. I usually just sit and watch. great now i sound creepy :bolt:
 
You might look for a man that has a small inner circle of close friends. You might find them alone at a party, possibly looking as if they would rather be somewhere else: staring at a fireplace or gazing at the sky, looking at the river or wondering about the art.

Interest is often quiet and reserved. It may take time and a lot of it before comfort opens the mind. Vulnerability may find your staying outside quite a while, as we tend to dislike having our feelings hurt. If you make it to the level of opening our heart to you, at least give us time to explain some things you may not understand at first. If that appears complicated to you, you may have found one of us.

We also tend to take lots of time to get over emotional trauma. That may have something to do with our personality and it may have something to do with the depth of our feelings for someone. Don't expect an overnight cure.

Showing genuine love and genuine concern for us will open many doors, but we can see through that which is not real. If you cannot be truthful do not waste your time. We look down on dishonesty and false emotion.

If we show a firm hand you are ours for the keeping, but why would you want us over all those others? They all have great qualities, too.
 
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1) Where are you likely to be found outside of the Internet?
INFJ forum - few other places.

2) How does one recognize you in public?
You won't see me, I might see you.

3) How would one go about attracting you?
Four things:
1. You must be a good and loyal person (not a malevolent person).
2. You must be a honest and sincere person.
3. You would preferably be intelligent.
4. Be polite.
(Besides being polite, there is almost nothing someone who would not be attractive to me can do to make themselves attractive - you can pretend, but I'm so intutive that I'll know about it within about three seconds).

4)how do INFJ boys/men go about showing their interest and how do they approach women they are interested in?
I won't show it. But if I'm interested, you'll know about it.
 
To sum up the last 4 pages (with a fair amount of accuracy):

1) Where are you likely to be found outside of the Internet?
Try going to the local library, book store, or video store. If the weather is nice, we can also be found outside enjoying nature. Never look at bars or pubs, however, as we either won't be there or it'll be very hard to find us.
2) How does one recognize you in public?
Look for the guy deep in thought away from the majority of people. If you see someone talking a lot about their favorite subject(s) in an extrovert-like way, then there is a very slim chance it is one of us. It is possible, but most likely they're an extrovert.
3) How would one go about attracting you?
Be considerate and intelligent when around us. Also, try to be interested in our favorite topics of discussion. Being well-dressed and non-materialistic also helps.
4)how do INFJ boys/men go about showing their interest and how do they approach women they are interested in?
We become friends with the girl until we feel like we know her well enough to ask her out. If we're quick to ask you out, then we believe the relationship will last a very long time because we've studied you from afar from a while. Honestly, if you want an infj boyfriend, then you should ask us out. The worst that will happen is we'll say no, apologize a few times, then go about our desperate ways. Good luck!
 
1) Where are you likely to be found outside of the Internet?
Work, gym and library/coffee shop.
2) How does one recognize you in public?
Typically well dressed and well groomed. If I go out, I like looking nice. Never over the top, just nice. If I go to the club or bar, I am normally wearing something that may make me stand out only because it isn't full of flair and colors. I like gray tones and darker colors in my clothing, so black, dark reds, dark purples, dark blues and some white. Simply put, clean cut and professional but also comfortable.
3) How would one go about attracting you?
Don't meet me at a club or bar... Seriously, if we meet there I can't take it seriously because how can you get to know someone when you can't even hear them?
So outside of the aforementioned scene, just talk with me. I don't bite and if I start asking deep personal questions and sharing anything about myself, then I have already determined that I like you. All you have to do is not screw up and not screwing up is probably the exact opposite of what you think. I think it is absolutely endearing if you stumble with your words, say stupid stuff you didn't mean to say, clumsy, telling me a little too much about your past, etc...
Screwing up is trying to be perfect. I don't like getting to know someone to be like an interview. It needs to be fun, free and natural or I am going to get bored very quickly. The more odd, weird and different you can be from any other girl I have talked to, the more I am going to be drawn to you. I more than enough serious for the both of us, so just be relaxed and carefree.
All this being said, be straight forward. I don't deal well with body language so just say what you mean and I will do the same.
4)How do INFJ boys/men go about showing their interest and how do they approach women they are interested in?
Similar to how I mentioned above. I will show an interest in the deeper things about you. Women who I don't feel connection with, I will treat nicely and talk with them but it will most likely never evolve beyond small chat. If I start asking questions with the intent of really getting to understand who you are, it means I am interested because I am not going to do with that with just anybody and I am curious about if we are compatible or not.
If I am doing that with you, I think there is something really worth getting to know about you and I want to find out if I am right. I will also start going out of my way to just see how you are doing. A text or a phone call, just to ask how your day was. Typically my mind is racing a thousand miles per hour with a thousand different ideas, so for me to do this it means you are more important than all of them.
No matter how mundane and simple your day was, that is more important to me than all the unsolved questions in the cosmos, just because it is you who experienced it. So I want to hear about how your day was and just listen. I don't want to talk much myself because I called to hear your voice, not my own.
 
1) Where are you likely to be found outside of the Internet?
Walking down the street with my destination in mind. The public library. A coffee or book shop. A park or high school track. A gym/fitness center.

2) How does one recognize you in public?
I wear a brown leather or blue fleece jacket and sometimes a scally cap and/or sunglasses. I typically wear blue/green/brown with jeans.


3) How would one go about attracting you?
Physical attraction gets my attention; an inviting personality and some intelligence keeps me interested.

4)how do INFJ boys/men go about showing their interest and how do they approach women they are interested in?
If I am interested in you, I'd find a way to keep in touch or invite you somewhere to join me in x-activity (you know, ask you out).
 
I'm going to take a stab at this lifeless topic. Lol but take my word with a grain of salt, since I'm fairly young (21) and all.

1) Where are you likely to be found outside of the Internet?
My favorite spot is my room, on my bed chilling while listening to music...so that probably doesn't help you out. If I'm not in my room, at meetings, or in class, you can spot me in the Dining hall. I enjoy chatting with friends, studying, or people-watching from a window-side booth. You might catch me studying outside if I'm really feeling like it. My friend and I usually have a weekly meeting outside where we read and talk about school, life, and girls. So yeah, I'm to myself for the most part.

2) How does one recognize you in public?
Aside from knowing what I look like, look for the guy who is walking really fast and listening to music. That's me. I might have someone by my side and I'll constantly look around while talking. Look for the guy who is seems like he is explaining the meaning of life to someone...that's me. If we make eye contact I may smile or give you the age old head nod. People tell me I look serious, but don't let it fool you too much. I blame my constant thinking and future-focused imagination.

3) How would one go about attracting you?
Be confident!! Don't be afraid to be goofy and crack jokes. Sarcasm is a win. I like the modest women. If you are creative in any way, you probably have my attention. I'm usually a sucker for artists and musicians, but it's not a requirement. I don't kind if you swear, just as long as it's not a huge play in your vocabulary. I like it when you show some interest in me. I'm as naive as a rock. Lol flirting flies over my head, because it's not something I focus on. I may see you as a nice and joking person. So if you are interested, perhaps make it obvious.

Question Added on Request:

4)how do INFJ boys/men go about showing their interest and how do they approach women they are interested in?
I don't to put it simple. I overthink and do nothing. I like to be sure before I put myself out there. If I think you're cute and I catch you looking at me or we met eyes, I may smile and check back a couple minutes later (assuming we aren't passing each around campus). If you've caught my attention, like past thinking you're cute, I will revisit the location I saw you. If I happen to see you again, I begin to take mental note of your mannerisms in order to get an understanding of who you are. After weighing out if this is something I should pursue, I either ask you for coffee or I don't. I usually don't.
 
  1. Where are you likely to be found outside of the Internet?
    At the gym, movies, swimming, walking at the mall & eventually participating in MeetUps I signed up for, lol.
  2. How does one recognize you in public?
    My beautiful bald shiny head. My height, 6'1". Piercing eyes. Nice smile. And just that peculiar 'thing' about all INFJs.
  3. How would one go about attracting you?
    Give me googly eyes and smile. Tell me a joke. Talk about MBTI. Tell me something deep that sounds INFJy. A beautiful spirit, old soul and femininity. Ethnicity doesn't matter if there is a connection. The best part would be we talk without talking. We vibe each other. Pro's and Con's with that one though, but I'm adventurous. Old fashioned as far as values and morals. Yep, I'm old school. Deal with it :)
  4. How do INFJ boys/men go about showing their interest and how do they approach women they are interested in?
    If I am really interested I will eventually walk up and just say, "You are gorgeous or beautiful." Then I walk away quickly. If a conversation can be created then talk about common interests, career and go from there. And or have a corn dog pick up line (ice breaker).

I'll take it a step further. Here's my picture. Man, this is crazy. YOLO. Shoot me for writing YOLO. Had to.

b189540014405289.webp
 
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