Well, it has to do with the fact that interactions with the mother and first son cause a different environment for second sons, who are exposed to a different set of chemicals prenatally. That's the explanation, and there has been somewhat of a trend found. That's not to say that all second sons would be more effiminate though.
I'd agree with being somewhat more mellow than my older brother too, though. My older brother has more of an 'edge' or hardness to him, though he's much more... calm, I'd say.
This is a topic that is very much top-of-mind to me, as I am the mother of two young sons and very concerned about their well-being.
I know the prenatal chemicals, etc., supposedly affect personality and how "effeminate" one is (or is not). Not an expert on that, however.
I
do know that first borns and second borns (and so on to the youngest) are quite literally born into completely different families -- and try as you might, no parent can replicate the same environment for the second that the first had. This truth simply must influence personality, I do not see how it could not.
My first born was wounded to the core when his brother was born -- he had been the absolute center of our universe, he was certainly the center of mine, and it was painful to him to have this little rival -- I would have spared him that pain if I could've, but I couldn't, and ultimately, he had to learn this painful lesson. To a little three year old, it can be traumatic. I went so far as to tandem nurse them both to help them bond. It resulted in shoving matches to get his baby brother off me as much as anything else, though I like to think it maybe helped them bond. At any rate, my eldest is now his brother's staunchest defender as well as toughest critic. Heaven help me if I put his little brother on the naughty step! He loves his brother now, but that experience of being "supplanted" will
always be with him, I expect. In truth, he was not supplanted -- he was given a brother who loves him. But it is hard for a child to understand this, especially if they have been a little hovered over by, ummmm, okay, an overprotective INFJ. I admit it.
As for my second-born, he recognized his brother's voice when he was a few hours old, because he had heard it in the womb. His universe had
always been inhabited by another child, even prenatally. That other child was fascinating and exciting, and always doing interesting and noisy things, and making faces and shouting and so on. I tried to do everything for my second-born the
exact way I did for his older brother, but I simply couldn't, because I am only one person, and it would've required cloning myself or foregoing sleep and personal hygeine completely. As a result, my precious little second born has been a little less hovered over, and I think it has made him a little less edgy and certainly a happy-go-lucky, sweetheart of a child. He will not hesitate to use any means possible (usually his teeth) to defend himself against someone who is a head taller and about twice his weight, but it takes a lot to get him to that point. He is currently less adept at using words or other tactics to work things out; I hope that as he grows older he will develop those skills. Having had a wrestling partner from birth, however, has helped him learn to deal with people very well, and he is my little extrovert, lucky guy! In a way, though I am sad that he was never able to have the entire spotlight all to himself, it may actually have done him a favor.
So, side note on birth order and personality... sorry! LOL! I know all families are different, but as a parent, I now realize how big an influence birth order and family dynamics can be on our core personalities.
