Corrupt a wish

Granted: All your genes turn blue, you pee blue your hair and skin become blue, your eyes are blue on blue. You shave your head and join the "blue man group" but can't handle all the gambling you are exposed to in Vegas. You freak out in the lobby of the Blue Oasis and the boys in blue lock you up.

I wish everyone voted in every election.
 
granted, everyone votes in every election but there is only a single candidate

I wish [MENTION=1939]Stu[/MENTION] was a mongel emperor with a harem of lovers
 
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Granted, [MENTION=1939]Stu[/MENTION] is a mongel emperor with a harem of lovers but he is killed by an assassin in one hour.

I wish pens could have infinite ink.
 
Granted. Now you have smudges on everything you write, ink in your pockets, and ink is getting everywhere.....even to bed!

I wish to be loved.
 
Granted but you cannot ever get away from all of the multitudes who adore you and are completely overwhelmed by the lack of alone time and privacy.

I wish I could hang out with INFJs in real life.
 
Granted, a summer get away camping trip.

I wish every one's dreams will come true.
 
Granted, everyone's dreams come true, and it's so wonderful that they fear going back to sleep because normal dreams now seem like nightmares in comparison.

I wish I could see an alien.
 
He is not real? Someone else step, please, while I mourn.....in Paris..... for America.
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Granted but once inflated it is blown away in gale force winds and you find yourself on your ceiling with a coffee table on your face.

I wish I didn't need food or sleep.
 
Granted - though you may forget a part of you that renews yourself naturally, coffee will substitute.
I wish I could teleport to a sun-shine state.
 
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Granted, but a random 10% of your cells did not rematerialize on the other end.

I wish I had a body that didn't have aches or pains.
 
granted, but it is now devoid of pleasure.


i wish i was no stranger to peace.
 
granted, you are familiar with peace and so bored that you begin to start war over petty things like having to wait in line at the checkouts.

I wish all men were named Nigel
 
Granted. Now all new mothers and fathers lose their abilities to name their own children all because of you.

I wish to see all things.
 
congratulations! you see everything, even matching the light perception of birds. this, of course, makes the world look extremely warped to you, as the pleasing colors and lighting levels of humans with human sight is now nauseating and very uncomfortable to you.

i wish that we didn't have to wish for things in order to be happy.
 
granted you don't have to wish for them to be happy because nothing makes you happy

I wish I was telekinetic
 
Granted. Now you feel telekinetic every time someone touches you. Now everyone is touching you, so you must hide for peace and quiet.

I wish I hadn't said no so much.
 
granted. you go back in time and say yes to things like staring at the sun until your eyes melt.

I wish people had little post it notes stuck to their foreheads with their names written on them so I wouldn't forget
 
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