Corrupt a wish

Granted, the lake has tons of algae though.

I wish I had a degree in quantum or plasma physics.

Granted, your life is spent arguing with new agers and their pseudo-scientific understanding of life.

I wish I could rule the universe and beyond.
 
Granted, but your universe and beyond is only a segment of the multi-verse that is devoted to actually understanding the basis of the new agers appreciation of the ancient Buddhist concept of the multi-verse which you have absolutely no concept of. You ceaselessly preach your "higher" understanding to a cadre of spirits who chuckle at you impotence and ignorance.

I wish all women were not pretty.
 
Granted; It tastes nothing but cardboard and is quite stale.

I wish an enemy of mine puked liquid gold whenever he thought the word "I".
 
Granted the carbs have been replaced by sawdust


I wish I was a famous athlete
 
You magically ascend to become a famous athlete at the most elite level of whatever sport you pick for a few years(elite being MLB, MLS, NFL, NHL, etc) at the cost of losing touch with everyone you have in your life right now. Your family and friends become so distant that you slowly fall into a slump and are eventually released and no one wants to give you a contract anymore. You attempt to get back into contact with old friends and gain the respect of your family once again but it fails.

I wish I could invent something that would help me afford school and help other people enjoy life more
 
granted, it's a blue toy Lamborghini that your 5 year old cousin steals and loses in the playground

I wish I could become invisible
 
Granted, now you are stuck being invisible with no way to change back and you can't communicate or interact with anyone. Everyone assumes you died and they hold a funeral where you watch as all your loved ones experience pain and anguish. The people that were closest to you fall into deep cyclic depression from which they are not able to escape. This eventually leads to most of them ending their lives as you watch in utter horror.

I wish for everyone and everything to cease existing.
 
I wish for everyone and everything to cease existing.

Granted, but due to technical difficulties, your wish won't happen any time soon.

I wish [MENTION=1814]invisible[/MENTION] could write "haha" after this post.
 
Granted, but due to technical difficulties, your wish won't happen any time soon.

I wish @invisible could write "haha" after this post.

granted, but i write it in an invisible spirit form that can only be perceived by the mind.

i wish i would magically turn into a rotating plastic ballerina doll inside a music box.
 
i wish i would magically turn into a rotating plastic ballerina doll inside a music box.

Granted, a serial killer kidnaps you and pumps you full of silicone and your skin turns to plastic and then you are placed in the killer's life size music box and your body is left rotating in the music box for the killer's enjoyment.

I wish online dating was not so hit or miss.
 
Granted, everyone on the planet finds their perfect match with the exception of you.

I wish the truth would make itself known.
 
It introduces itself at an AA meeting. You are not impressed.

I wish steve jobs was still alive
 
Steve Jobs is miraculously brought back from the grave and writes a memoir that tells the story of how he is not the true brain behind Apple and that it is all a farce. Because of his reincarnation Apple goes bankrupt and for the rest of your life Ashton Kutcher will do sketches of Steve Jobs in your living room once a week.

I wish I could spend time with friends who live overseas.
 
Granted, but on your way back your ship hits an iceberg...

I wish I knew the truth of all things.
 
granted, you know the truth about everything and your head implodes from the mass of contradictions

I wish it was raining
 
Granted it's raining, causing your living room to flood, and your cat is losing its fur in distress

I wish I could go on a date with Ashton Kutcher
 
Granted, you're at a restaurant on a date with Ashton Kutcher when his ex wife Demi Moore shows up. She joins you at the table. All night Demi eats off your plate and talks loudly to Ashton while blocking your view of him. At the end of the date, he and Demi leave together and you're stuck with the bill.

I wish I could read every single article on wikipedia in a day
 
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