Do you experiment with drugs?

Misty said:
Sads... Is he ok now, or you've not heard?
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Jonah Caan said:
I completely agree with that point bud. I just thought it's horrible what happened with your friend.

In school one of the reasons I as bullied was because I never gave in to peer pressure; I'm proud of being able to do that as a kid. Don't think I'd be as strong now haha. Never said yes to a smoke etc.

First week of uni, some lads took us to their room and started lighting up. I don't know which drug it was but they were heating it up??? I said no, although they said I was ruining it. Simply walked out and never hanged out with them again.

A dear friend of mine has a problem with alcohol and drugs, which is fueled by him not being able to accept himself for who he is. Breaks my heart.

Definitely man, my core values come before everything. Someone fucks about with that then they're gone.
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Sorry guys, I was walking.

Well, I met my friend in the ACF (uniformed youth service) when we were about 15, so there was always a disconnect between my actual personality and the people that befriended me. I was inexplicably popular with them, but we were very different types of people. We were on a lot of the same regional & national teams together (March & Shoot, Shooting, &c.).

His friends called him 'Samehead' because apparently he looked like he had Down's Syndrome or something, but he was fine. Cruel nickname for a lot of reasons, but he ran with it. When we were first friends, it was just super-strength lager* and (for them) weed - that was for about 3 years when we were close, but afterwards I went off to uni while he was supposed to be training to be a joiner.

I had him try to do my mother's coving in a bedroom once, but he totally fucked it up. He couldn't figure out the corner angles for the joints and I had to get some more coving (my mum couldn't afford any more), figure it out, and basically do it for him. We still paid him but my mum was a bit miffed. I think he was on something then, but after that we gradually lost touch.

Some time later I popped in to the old ACF detachment to see how everybody was doing and give away all my old gear (webbing, uniforms, &c.), and I saw him there by chance. It looked like he hadn't disconnected from that circle, even though you're supposed to leave when you're 18, so he was just sort of this bloke in his 20s hanging around a load of teenagers. He looked terrible and his life was in ruins. Lots of ecstasy, coke, weed and had stsrted on heroin - his life was about managing uppers and downers and his parents were just about to kick him out. Never heard from him since.

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With me, it was always about the very long game. I was raised with that whole 'man of the house' mentality by my mum so had a sense of responsibility for keeping things together from a young age. Any family shit that was going down, I would be the guy in the middle emphasising the bottom line and tying everyone back together (though I was also disconnected and in my own world from them a lot of the time); I was the guy fixing things in a crisis. Workplaces, too, definitely. I think I have some kind of (mild?) saviour complex, where I absolutely must be a kind of incorruptible paragon. I didn't want to introduce my future family to anything that could threaten them, or have any dirt on me that could ruin, say, if I wanted to run for political officeat some point. So I haven't had an issue with disconnecting from people who are bad news, though not consciously - I just lose respect for them, and they fade from my life.

Case in point, I had another friend in my mid-20s. Good guy, generous, but crazy. We were both into the powerlifting at the time so we were pretty huge, and he wanted me to come and work doors with him as a sideline. Did it once, but I figured out that the firm was run by a notorious local gangster as a front for his enforcers. Surprise surprise, my friend also got into the shady enforcement side of things - I don't know what the fuck went on (well I do, but I don't want to share it tbh) - and I just had to say 'look, I can't associate with you anymore'. Those people were too fucking dangerous and there was no way I was going to expose my potential future family to any of that shit. Too scary, man. My 'potential fatherhood' overrode everything always, so it was always easy for me to make those choices.

It paid for this guy, though. He has a beautiful fiance now and a well-paying legitimate job... with masses of funds in the bank from his time.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
Sorry guys, I was walking.

Well, I met my friend in the ACF (uniformed youth service) when we were about 15, so there was always a disconnect between my actual personality and the people that befriended me. I was inexplicably popular with them, but we were very different types of people. We were on a lot of the same regional & national teams together (March & Shoot, Shooting, &c.).

His friends called him 'Samehead' because apparently he looked like he had Down's Syndrome or something, but he was fine. Cruel nickname for a lot of reasons, but he ran with it. When we were first friends, it was just super-strength lager* and (for them) weed - that was for about 3 years when we were close, but afterwards I went off to uni while he was supposed to be training to be a joiner.

I had him try to do my mother's coving in a bedroom once, but he totally fucked it up. He couldn't figure out the corner angles for the joints and I had to get some more coving (my mum couldn't afford any more), figure it out, and basically do it for him. We still paid him but my mum was a bit miffed. I think he was on something then, but after that we gradually lost touch.

Some time later I popped in to the old ACF detachment to see how everybody was doing and give away all my old gear (webbing, uniforms, &c.), and I saw him there by chance. It looked like he hadn't disconnected from that circle, even though you're supposed to leave when you're 18, so he was just sort of this bloke in his 20s hanging around a load of teenagers. He looked terrible and his life was in ruins. Lots of ecstasy, coke, weed and had stsrted on heroin - his life was about managing uppers and downers and his parents were just about to kick him out. Never heard from him since.

View attachment 52680


With me, it was always about the very long game. I was raised with that whole 'man of the house' mentality by my mum so had a sense of responsibility for keeping things together from a young age. Any family shit that was going down, I would be the guy in the middle emphasising the bottom line and tying everyone back together (though I was also disconnected and in my own world from them a lot of the time); I was the guy fixing things in a crisis. Workplaces, too, definitely. I think I have some kind of (mild?) saviour complex, where I absolutely must be a kind of incorruptible paragon. I didn't want to introduce my future family to anything that could threaten them, or have any dirt on me that could ruin, say, if I wanted to run for political officeat some point. So I haven't had an issue with disconnecting from people who are bad news, though not consciously - I just lose respect for them, and they fade from my life.

Case in point, I had another friend in my mid-20s. Good guy, generous, but crazy. We were both into the powerlifting at the time so we were pretty huge, and he wanted me to come and work doors with him as a sideline. Did it once, but I figured out that the firm was run by a notorious local gangster as a front for his enforcers. Surprise surprise, my friend also got into the shady enforcement side of things - I don't know what the fuck went on (well I do, but I don't want to share it tbh) - and I just had to say 'look, I can't associate with you anymore'. Those people were too fucking dangerous and there was no way I was going to expose my potential future family to any of that shit. Too scary, man. My 'potential fatherhood' overrode everything always, so it was always easy for me to make those choices.

It paid for this guy, though. He has a beautiful fiance now and a well-paying legitimate job... with masses of funds in the bank from his time.
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You did well not to get involved in any of that shit man. It’s very hard for young lads to keep on the straight and narrow growing up in the rundown areas of the UK tbh. I got involved in gangs from 13 onwards and got involved in some nasty shit ranging from drugs to street violence revolving around rival gangs etc. It was pretty difficult to leave all that behind since it was all I had and it still knocks me sick sometimes. Pretty lucky I’m not doing serious jail time or dead to be honest.

You do seem to have that inner steel about you though hos and it’s very admirable mate. You have all the tools you need to navigate anything that comes at you brother :)
 
JamieUK92 said:
You did well not to get involved in any of that shit man. It’s very hard for young lads to keep on the straight and narrow growing up in the rundown areas of the UK tbh. I got involved in gangs from 13 onwards and got involved in some nasty shit ranging from drugs to street violence revolving around rival gangs etc. It was pretty difficult to leave all that behind since it was all I had and it still knocks me sick sometimes. Pretty lucky I’m not doing serious jail time or dead to be honest.

You do seem to have that inner steel about you though hos and it’s very admirable mate. You have all the tools you need to navigate anything that comes at you brother :)
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Oof, glad you got out of that, mate.

I just don't want to be around any of that shit at all. I think it's pathetic.

With my friend, I think his plan was to try to make as much money as possible with that particular 'shortcut', and then stop, but bouncing/doors into debt collecting into enforcement is just a scary slippery slope imo. I hate it how they shade these guys into the underworld with little steps. Fuck that.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
Oof, glad you got out of that, mate.

I just don't want to be around any of that shit at all. I think it's pathetic.

With my friend, I think his plan was to try to make as much money as possible with that particular 'shortcut', and then stop, but bouncing/doors into debt collecting into enforcement is just a scary slippery slope imo. I hate it how they shade these guys into the underworld with little steps. Fuck that.
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Yeah it’s a sad state of affairs. It’s the main reason I wanted to pack up and leave this place because it’s just a land of constant reminders for me.

It’s scary the lengths people will go to make some money and there’s not many people you can trust as soon as money gets thrown into the equation.

I wish I wasn’t as corruptible like you back then tbh and I look back and feel weak for letting myself become a part of such stupid shit. I think I just wanted to fit in and I felt I gained some kind of acceptance. It was never me though and it was never something that was going to last because I don’t think you can be something other than yourself for too long without breaking down.
 
I used to do lots of drugs! Marijuana, lsd, mushrooms, mescaline, ecstasy, pills every now and then. I did cocaine for a really short while, but when I realized I'd rather shoot myself in the face than come down I stopped. I had a pretty crap childhood and family life so it started as a form of escapism, but I was also interested in exploring my self and mind so I was drawn to psychedelics. I don't do any of that stuff anymore and haven't for...shit... almost 2 decades. Life is much better without that stuff imo, but I do understand the benefits of certain things in a controlled environment for therapeutic purposes. The best part is, I'm aware of what voids I was trying to fill with drugs and am able to guide my own kids in a different direction. Woot.
 
The only outstanding thing on my very short list of things I wanted to try is mushrooms. I wanted to use them to a a. reset my anxiety and b. go on a magical, mystical spiritual journey, but I could never find people I trusted enough to do them with (I never smoked or drank alone - that was my main rule) now I don't feel the need to. Whatever it was that I wanted to discover about myself with shrooms, I no longer want to and my anxiety is at a manageable level. I'm quite content where I am mentally and spiritually.
 
sassafras said:
The only outstanding thing on my very short list of things I wanted to try is mushrooms. I wanted to use them to a a. reset my anxiety and b. go on a magical, mystical spiritual journey, but I could never find people I trusted enough to do them with (I never smoked or drank alone - that was my main rule) now I don't feel the need to. Whatever it was that I wanted to discover about myself with shrooms, I no longer want to and my anxiety is at a manageable level. I'm quite content where I am mentally and spiritually.
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When I did mushrooms it had different effect upon me. As soon as I was coming down from trip I started to experience anxiety. It was in my mind for next 2 months with also sudden bursts of anger and other negative emotions. Now when I look at it, its clear to me that it was purging process, repressed material from Shadow started to come into my consciousness to be resolved but then I didn't have clue about that so I was thinking that I was going mad. I remeber that I couldn't sleep for like 5-6 days, constantly had racing painful thoughts and felt like madman, crazy days... But, after that I was totally a different man with new sense of self. It felt like I pressed restart button and started to live again lol

So when it comes to mushrooms or other psychedelics, they can push person to grow faster but at the same time it can be very painful. Because of that I am more for balanced and slow approach. From what I saw in you writings here on forum, you seem like you progressed a lot and that you are in nice place so my opinion is that you dont need mushrooms but to continue to do what you are doing as you said...
 
Dado said:
From what I saw in you writings here on forum, you seem like you progressed a lot and that you are in nice place so my opinion is that you dont need mushrooms but to continue to do what you are doing as you said...
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Thanks for volunteering.

Now you need to go around the forum and tell everybody if they need mushrooms or not.

Start with me :)
 
Thank you, @Dado

And your experience is exactly what made me want to try them in the first place. Quite a few people have explained it being just like that: a gradual breaking out over a week or two and then a sudden shift. I'm glad you found what you needed too.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
Thanks for volunteering.

Now you need to go around the forum and tell everybody if they need mushrooms or not.

Start with me :)
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Since you are asking I will give my opinion to you (I also sense sarcasam in yout text)

Your biggest fear is to be vulnerable and intimate mainly with yourself because you dont know how to deal with pain that comes from negative emotions so you always have rely on your logic and coldness to keep your self away from all of that stuff. You also use this forum and spend a lot of time on it to as to keep yourself distracted from going inside yourself. So my opinion is that you dont need mushrooms but rather to become more kind and less harsh towards yourself.
 
Dado said:
Since you are asking I will give my opinion to you (I also sense sarcasam in yout text)

Your biggest fear is to be vulnerable and intimate mainly with yourself because you dont know how to deal with pain that comes from negative emotions so you always have rely on your logic and coldness to keep your self away from all of that stuff. You also use this forum and spend a lot of time on it to as to keep yourself distracted from going inside yourself. So my opinion is that you dont need mushrooms but rather to become more kind and less harsh towards yourself.
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Thanks for your reply, Dado, but I only meant what I said as a joke - there was no sarcasm coming from me.

I just found out the idea of going around pronouncing who needs mushrooms or not pretty funny:

'you need mushrooms'
'you do not'
'you definitely need mushrooms'
'You should stay away from them'

If that means my sense of humour sucks, then I guess it sucks, but no harm was intended.

Aboout your analysis, though. I have relied on logic to solve personal problems with 'negative emotions', but not so much 'coldness' I don't think. Distraction... This place has served more as a locus for challenging my problems than it has provided a distraction from them.

Dado, I'm sorry if you took offense, I was genuinely joking. You seem like a really nice, kind and interesting guy, and I wouldn't go around randomly being mean to people. I suppose because we don't know each other it might've seemed sarcastic - again, I'm sorry about this.
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
Thanks for your reply, Dado, but I only meant what I said as a joke - there was no sarcasm coming from me.

I just found out the idea of going around pronouncing who needs mushrooms or not pretty funny:

'you need mushrooms'
'you do not'
'you definitely need mushrooms'
'You should stay away from them'

If that means my sense of humour sucks, then I guess it sucks, but no harm was intended.

Aboout your analysis, though. I have relied on logic to solve personal problems with 'negative emotions', but not so much 'coldness' I don't think. Distraction... This place has served more as a locus for challenging my problems than it has provided a distraction from them.

Dado, I'm sorry if you took offense, I was genuinely joking. You seem like a really nice, kind and interesting guy, and I wouldn't go around randomly being mean to people. I suppose because we don't know each other it might've seemed sarcastic - again, I'm sorry about this.
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My reply to sassafras was purely informational, because she seems interested in topic about mushrooms so I just wanted to share my story and agree with how she thinks about it.

Also, what I said about you was just my opinion and not the truth. Sorry if my reply was too much direct. <3
No offense from my side. You are cool dude. :)
 
Deleted member 16771 said:
Thanks for your reply, Dado, but I only meant what I said as a joke - there was no sarcasm coming from me.

I just found out the idea of going around pronouncing who needs mushrooms or not pretty funny:

'you need mushrooms'
'you do not'
'you definitely need mushrooms'
'You should stay away from them'

If that means my sense of humour sucks, then I guess it sucks, but no harm was intended.

Aboout your analysis, though. I have relied on logic to solve personal problems with 'negative emotions', but not so much 'coldness' I don't think. Distraction... This place has served more as a locus for challenging my problems than it has provided a distraction from them.

Dado, I'm sorry if you took offense, I was genuinely joking. You seem like a really nice, kind and interesting guy, and I wouldn't go around randomly being mean to people. I suppose because we don't know each other it might've seemed sarcastic - again, I'm sorry about this.
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Dado said:
My reply to sassafras was purely informational, because she seems interested in topic about mushrooms so I just wanted to share my story and agree with how she thinks about it.

Also, what I said about you was just my opinion and not the truth. Sorry if my reply was too much direct. <3
No offense from my side. You are cool dude. :)
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Muh7YYP.webp
 
Dado said:
Also, what I said about you was just my opinion and not the truth. Sorry if my reply was too much direct. <3
No offense from my side. You are cool dude.
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Not at all - genuine reflection of any type and depth is always welcome :)

Good to hear.

I just get carried away sometimes when I'm in a particular mood. Only happens when I'm happy, though, so I guess that's something and you can see where I'm coming from.
 
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