Do you listen to people you don't like?

Not going to lie, the same truth spoken by someone I like compared to someone I don't like will net a different response.

But that's probably because part of me liking someone -is- seeing how they think, their thought patterns, their complexes and everything.
And vice versa for disliking someone.

Not going to tone police, you can say what you want in the manner you like (...which, given that it's muir who's the OP, WELL.)
But even then other factors will come into play. How do they say it-- the angle, the framing etc.
Content is one thing. Tone is another. But there are other factors playing.
 
With me it's the other way around.

I listen and depending on what the person is saying, I like or dislike them... or think that they're a nut-case, or think that they are just repeating consensus without thinking, etc.
 
But does that mean that the person shouldn't be listened to?
So i guess what i'm asking is are people able to seperate whether or not they like someone from whether or not they find TRUTH value in what they are saying?
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Ah this questions has so many dissectible parts.

Does listening equate to taking on the advice?

Does liking someone conversely equate to also biasedly taking on their falsely given advice?

Doesn't truth hold equal sides of the coin?
 
Do we listen with an open heart to things we know better than listen to? Do we allow what someone else says cause hurt and pain, while we act as if it is nothing? Do we allow this to dissuade our liking for the person?

There are people I have no time for, but it is because they bleed me some way or another when they say things. As time goes by, we become callous to those imperfections and carry on, but we heed not what they say. They, for the way we understand, would not cause us pain if they truly loved us. It reveals something of more importance than our love....something of more importance to them. Maybe it is like a barnacle to them, or maybe like something has grown over old scar tissue.

Do we judge them, or do we listen with caution? Most of us listen with all we have, and the resulting enigma of pain seems to follow. A counselor was never meant to be impervious to pain, for that is how we learn to understand. The iron is hot, but only to the finger that has touched it. No, we dare not judge. Yet, we expect better. I sometimes think these expectations helps us to change things in miniscule ways; something passing by the dock with the outgoing tide as we sleep. Can we really listen to our own hearts?
 
It depends on why I don't like them. If they severely crossed my values then no, I won't listen to them
 
Not really. I ignore/avoid people I dislike as much as I can.
 
If it's impersonal, then yes. Academically, professionally I can always listen to someone, no matter how personally repugnant I find them, if it is in my best interests to do so. If it is purely personal, I am generally not around people I don't like long enough to hear what they have to say.
 
muir said:
Speaking the truth can make someone very unlikeable! But does that mean that the person shouldn't be listened to?
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No that does not mean the person should not be listened to. Whether you like someone or not, it is stupid to dismiss whatever they have to say.
Imagine your building is on fire, and someone you don't like warns you about it, will you really ignore that person ?
Sometimes dismissing people because you don't like them can cost you dearly in valuable information.
Not liking someone is no reason not to listen to what they say and then think and decide for yourself.

muir said:
So i guess what i'm asking is are people able to seperate whether or not they like someone from whether or not they find TRUTH value in what they are saying?
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A lot of people aren't. Take Obama, a lot of people like him but he usually lies. If you look at Putin, a lot of people don't like him and yet he speaks the truth more often then not.

muir said:
So are you able as an individual to look past a person to what they are saying or is the only thing that matters whether or not you like someone?
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I am able to look past my personal and public opinion to what is said. Not liking someone to me is no reason to dismiss what they have to say.

muir said:
This has all sorts of implications not just in every day life but also in politics for example where one candidate might be more charming or good looking than another and just more presentable and likeable yet his/her policies might not be as good as those of someone who is not so good at razzle dazzling people....should it matter?
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It shouldn't matter but it does. A lot of people vote for the charming more presentable fellow. Though to me, the more charismatic, charming, good looking, presentable and likable a person is the more careful I get. A lot of people tend to judge people with these traits at a lesser or opposite intensity as unreliable or suspicious which is not always justified.

muir said:
We see examples all the time in everyday life of the most likeable person gaining support...but are they actually the person people should be listening to? For example...are they the most honest?
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I don't think that the most like-able people are any more inclined the truth then un-like-able people.
 
If I decide that I don't like someone, that usually means that I have come to the conclusion that said person is an idiot. Idiots say idiotic things and listening to this type of stupidity sends me into a mini rage (sarcastic, condescending, mean humor, etc.); not fun for them.

BUT...that does not mean I won't listen to them if I feel they have something important to say. And I can determine that within seconds of them opening their mouth. If I walk away while they are speaking, they know what I think. If I don't walk away, then they have my ear...until they go full retard again. When that happens my mind shuts down (a built in defense mechanism) to protect me from catching stupid.

A few years back, I worked with this one attorney that I couldn't stand (code:I thought he was an idiot). We would go toe to toe on EVERYTHING. But once in a blue moon, he would put out an idea that made sense and I would go to bat for him with the big boss. I would even say "great idea!" which I meant sincerely.

This would leave him feeling good and thinking that his great idea earned him my friendship. Nope. Still an idiot. But idiots sometimes have good ideas. So I listen to make sure I'm not missing anything valuable. He was the idiot; not I.
 
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It really takes a lot for me to not like someone. If I do though it doesn't mean I dont listen to them. I dont loke the leader of Iran or America. Both are dangerous as f to the American people. Best to know what they are thinking and planning, best to listen to them.
 
I try to listen to everyone. I think even in a hateful ignorant rant there could be vital information. There's so much outright dismissal that hidden meaning is missed. When you peel back the anger or ignorance you might see what they don't even see. That's the power of sensing extroversion. Don't have our feelings getting in the way and you can better see others true motivations.

I'm not saying someone isn't necessarily a pos racist. In the real world we are what we do, but if you figure out why they are being a pos racist, then perhaps core issues can be addressed. Or not. Demonizing everything we don't like out of hand without trying to find the root means the weeds will keep coming back though...
 
DAmn guys. Yall are impressive. So much healthy thinking. Even the people expressing doubt and troubled feelings are so lacking ignorant bullshit.
 
Rigdonb said:
DAmn guys. Yall are impressive. So much healthy thinking. Even the people expressing doubt and troubled feelings are so lacking ignorant bullshit.
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muir and eventhorizon were both pretty cool before they went insane. Try not to follow in their footsteps.
 
Having a few weeks to study I realize that I hover around INFJ to INFP. I havent figured out which is the construct yet. Also, I can see quite a bit of my 20's living as a ESTP due to grip stress.

I'm good man :D
 
Yeah I think everyone has something valuable I can learn from what they say. Even if it seems toxic. I think of it as like developing my emotional "gastrointestinal system" haha. Like even if something is toxic I just process it and take the nutritional value (constructive stuff for self growth or a new perspective) out of it while letting the toxic parts of it kinda filter out. Easier said then done of course, takes time to develop (Still am lol)
 
I think if we keep in mind that each individual has their version of truth interpreted through their own lenses, as well as the social lense, we all might find we listen as well as like more.
 
Listening to, and agreeing with, are two different things. I listen to people unless they're being abusive, or negatively targeting me, or someone else. If we're discussing ideas and opinions I listen. It doesn't mean I agree.
 
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