Dreaded INTP falls hard for INFJ

I found out very oddly that he wants to see multiple people at the same time. I thought we had discussed this and were on the same page. We are not, and he won’t discuss it with me. He says he has been sincere in all of the things he has said to me, but how is that possible if he’s saying this to god knows how many women. He says he has baggage and reasons for this, but refuses to explain. He just says he is sad and didn’t mean to hurt me.

I guess he’s not who he has been saying he was. I feel like a rug got ripped out from under me. I was really confident he felt the same ways. Naive INTP idiot I guess.
 
Dopamine said:
I found out very oddly that he wants to see multiple people at the same time. I thought we had discussed this and were on the same page. We are not, and he won’t discuss it with me. He says he has been sincere in all of the things he has said to me, but how is that possible if he’s saying this to god knows how many women. He says he has baggage and reasons for this, but refuses to explain. He just says he is sad and didn’t mean to hurt me.

I guess he’s not who he has been saying he was. I feel like a rug got ripped out from under me. I was really confident he felt the same ways. Naive INTP idiot I guess.
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I'm sorry, Dopamine. This is really sad.
 
Dopamine said:
I found out very oddly that he wants to see multiple people at the same time. I thought we had discussed this and were on the same page. We are not, and he won’t discuss it with me. He says he has been sincere in all of the things he has said to me, but how is that possible if he’s saying this to god knows how many women. He says he has baggage and reasons for this, but refuses to explain. He just says he is sad and didn’t mean to hurt me.

I guess he’s not who he has been saying he was. I feel like a rug got ripped out from under me. I was really confident he felt the same ways. Naive INTP idiot I guess.
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I don't think you are a naive idiot. That all sounds very disappointing.
 
Ah damn. I'm sorry he strung you along Dopamine.

I don't think you're a naive idiot. You're an honest and trusting woman, which are great qualities to have! Other honest and trustworthy people (friends, co-workers and boyfriends alike) will appreciate these qualities in you.
 
Has he been honest with you this whole time? Also, is he polyamorous, playing the field, or dating several women before settling?

It must’ve been hard to be open to the prospects of finding someone so in sync with you and then to have that be taken away. You’re in the idealization phase and then he shows himself as incompatible. That’s tough.

The INTP / INFJ pairing does seem to me to be prone to these quick denouements and it doesn’t matter if they’ve been together weeks or years. When it ends, it ends super fast.
 
Sorry y’all the forum is kicking my ass tonight.

So many buttons.

Quote above- things with and INTP can end real fast across the board. We can burn some sh*t down. Not often but poke us enough when we are hurting.

Relationships are awful- full stop. Even the short ones when someone gets under your skin. But it sucks like this for everybody. So it is what it is. I’ll get over it quickly enough. Mostly.
 
Dopamine said:
Sorry y’all the forum is kicking my ass tonight.

So many buttons.
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Try clicking the button marked tools at the bottom of your posts and then click edit if you want to fix any mistakes or in case you click reply before typing anything. The delete and report options in that same menu I trust are self explanatory :)
Dopamine said:
Relationships are awful- full stop
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I don't mean to get too personal but is this a recurring problem?
 
Brilliant! (Yes now I’m cringing- “you could try plugging the computer in Doctor” ugg)

Reoccurring problem....Believing everything a guy I’m attracted to says? Correct. Dopamine is a helluva drug. It makes you do stuuuuuuuuiiipid sh*t.

are we allowed to cuss in here?
 
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Dopamine said:
Brilliant! (Yes now I’m cringing- “you could try plugging the computer in Doctor” ugg)

Reoccurring problem....Believing everything a guy I’m attracted to says? Correct. Dopamine is a helluva drug. It makes you do stuuuuuuuuiiip sh*t.

are we allowed to cuss in here?
Click to expand...
Yes you're allowed to curse, and I'm sorry I didn't mean waste your time on anything obvious.
 
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