Eternal lonliness

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If I ever lost that feeling I'm not sure I'd feel alive, it's so much a part of me. Now that I'm older I just accept that it's fine to run in the background but I don't worry about it.
 
This is not limited to INFJs. I as an INTP I feel very much the same way. The person with whom I've connected best is an INFJ (and a big part of why I came here) who has shown some interest in such a connection with me, not not nearly as much as I'd like. (Although still introverted compared to most she is quite extroverted compared to an extreme introvert like me.)


In general Introverts want fewer but deeper friendships. Introverts have a higher level of resting cortical activity and thus as social interaction (especially with those we don't know well) increases such arousal in everyone strong introverts easily reach a level of being overstressed/overwhelmed and need some time alone in roder to function properly. This does not decrease our need for others though, but perhaps makes us feel a deeper need for interaction with more intimate friends who do not cause so much cortical arousal.


The need for connections is closely associated with Extroverted Feeling, which both INFJs and INTPs have. Those who are strong introverts but also strongly extroverted feeling are likely to experience it the most, as extroverted extroverted feelers are more comfortable going out and making (somewhat shallower) connections. It is probably more stressful for INTPs than INFJs, as extroverted feeling is our inferior or aspirational function, what we deeply desire but know we suck at.
 
magister343 said:
In general Introverts want fewer but deeper friendships. Introverts have a higher level of resting cortical activity and thus as social interaction (especially with those we don't know well) increases such arousal in everyone strong introverts easily reach a level of being overstressed/overwhelmed and need some time alone in roder to function properly. This does not decrease our need for others though, but perhaps makes us feel a deeper need for interaction with more intimate friends who do not cause so much cortical arousal.
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Interesting. Makes sense to me.
 
It's probably my fault that I am lonely. Whenever I have tried to explain myself to others it makes them uncomfortable so I back away quickly. I hope that I will find someone who can relate to me, but for now it kind of sucks.

Good luck, I think I get where you are coming from. :)
 
veritas said:
It's probably my fault that I am lonely. Whenever I have tried to explain myself to others it makes them uncomfortable so I back away quickly. I hope that I will find someone who can relate to me, but for now it kind of sucks.

Good luck, I think I get where you are coming from. :)
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I can relate. I feel that most of the time people do not understand me as well.
It can make one feel so disconnected. We forge connections through communication and one of the integral aspects of communication, from my perspective, is being understood. Sometimes it's as though a great deal of what I said just did not have any value or meaning. I recall a quote by Henry Ward Beecher: " All words are pegs to hang ideas on"; sometimes it's as though all people perceive are the "pegs" and not the ideas,the feelings, or meaning that the words were meant to communicate
 
On my own path said:
I can relate. I feel that most of the time people do not understand me as well.
It can make one feel so disconnected. We forge connections through communication and one of the integral aspects of communication, from my perspective, is being understood. Sometimes it's as though a great deal of what I said just did not have any value or meaning. I recall a quote by Henry Ward Beecher: " All words are pegs to hang ideas on"; sometimes it's as though all people perceive are the "pegs" and not the ideas,the feelings, or meaning that the words were meant to communicate
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Story of my life.

I've been dealing with this for so long. Its so hard to shut up. I find the more quality connections I get the better I feel. Just going out and being social doesn't work.
 
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