For Women

slant said:
Interesting. Yeah I go cruising in the dating apps and find someone who seems benign and then pounce. If I don't release my sexual energy at least once a year all if it gets converted into rage and then I'm impossible to be around
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OK.

You can teach anyone to be "good" in bed, whatever your definition of that is, if you make the effort and they're willing.
 
slant said:
Interesting. Yeah I go cruising in the dating apps and find someone who seems benign and then pounce. If I don't release my sexual energy at least once a year all if it gets converted into rage and then I'm impossible to be around
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As if masturbation doesn't exist.

Everybody does it.
I have a feeling you're trolling. Why?
 
BritNi said:
As if masturbation doesn't exist.

Everybody does it.
I have a feeling you're trolling. Why?
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You know, not only that, it's a physiological requirement to get off. I mean, each person is different as to how often their body will require. But, if you don't masturbate during waking hours, your body will make you during sleep. Ya know? Sex dreams and all.

I don't believe in this "built up sexual energy" crap.

I'll bet a sexually active woman would go no less than a month being celibate before she orgasms during a sex dream.

For men, it's probably a week. Heh.

It's just natural.
 
slant said:
I'm not trolling? And of course I masturbate but sex is way way way better. Like amazing sex is great and just relieves a lot of stress. And for me I like to do it at least yearly or I get real grouchy
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In that case, why not join a sex-oriented community or subculture? Or build a relationship with a friend who has similar needs?

I'm a relationship type of person, so while I empathize, I don't personally relate. The times when I've wanted sex, but don't have access to it are rare. When I was single I actively avoided men and dating to focus on life goals. I understand why people wouldn't want to be in relationships, but it just isn't my general experience.
 
Asa said:
In that case, why not join a sex-oriented community or subculture? Or build a relationship with a friend who has similar needs?

I'm a relationship type of person, so while I empathize, I don't personally relate. The times when I've wanted sex, but don't have access to it are rare. When I was single I actively avoided men and dating to focus on life goals. I understand why people wouldn't want to be in relationships, but it just isn't my general experience.
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I prefer to not have to deal with that person ever again after the act is done, or on a limited basis. And I'm not interested in kinky sex I'm super vanilla and the kind of people you meet in sex groups are so not my thing. Friends with benefits rarely works out. Feelings happen and it's just a mess.
 
Whenever I wear more than eyeliner, mascara, and maybe some eyeshadow, I feel like I look like a clown.

I really envy/admire women who know how to do their makeup well. When I do, I look in the mirror and I'm like, wtf? I don't really do makeup all that well, but I'm also not a five year old putting makeup on, ya know what I mean?

I think maybe it's in my mind playing tricks? Like some type of dysmorphia on my end. I don't know. Or is it just like a shock factor where I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself? I'm supposed to feel pretty, right? Makeup has almost the opposite effect on me. Buuuuuut...sometimes I need it.

Can anyone relate? Any suggestions as to what I can do to change my perspective to something positive when I'm dressed up, yet looking in the mirror and seeing something hideous?

I don't know. It's not like I think I'm ugly or anything.

Am I making sense here? Lol
 
BritNi said:
Whenever I wear more than eyeliner, mascara, and maybe some eyeshadow, I feel like I look like a clown.

I really envy/admire women who know how to do their makeup well. When I do, I look in the mirror and I'm like, wtf? I don't really do makeup all that well, but I'm also not a five year old putting makeup on, ya know what I mean?

I think maybe it's in my mind playing tricks? Like some type of dysmorphia on my end. I don't know. Or is it just like a shock factor where I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself? I'm supposed to feel pretty, right? Makeup has almost the opposite effect on me. Buuuuuut...sometimes I need it.

Can anyone relate? Any suggestions as to what I can do to change my perspective to something positive when I'm dressed up, yet looking in the mirror and seeing something hideous?

I don't know. It's not like I think I'm ugly or anything.

Am I making sense here? Lol
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I'm not big into make up either but I get what you mean that sometimes ya need it. I also think I look terrible in noticable makeup. Last year I was a bridesmaid in my friends wedding and we had a professional makeup artist come in and I felt like it looked like I was in costume or drag. Just did not look like me. My husband loved it but I couldn't wait to wash it off. I feel most comfortable in barely there makeup. I like to wear makeup that makes it look like I'm not wearing any makeup. Because I still have imperfections to cover and also features to play up but I don't want it to look obvious. I don't really think you need dramatic or obvious makeup to dress up. Maybe make it more about a fancy up do or something. Or go with one bold thing like a lipstick.
 
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slant said:
I prefer to not have to deal with that person ever again after the act is done, or on a limited basis. And I'm not interested in kinky sex I'm super vanilla and the kind of people you meet in sex groups are so not my thing. Friends with benefits rarely works out. Feelings happen and it's just a mess.
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Just get yourself one of these.

View attachment 57458

And one of these. You be a-ight. You can thank me later.

View attachment 57459
 
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BritNi said:
Whenever I wear more than eyeliner, mascara, and maybe some eyeshadow, I feel like I look like a clown.

I really envy/admire women who know how to do their makeup well. When I do, I look in the mirror and I'm like, wtf? I don't really do makeup all that well, but I'm also not a five year old putting makeup on, ya know what I mean?

I think maybe it's in my mind playing tricks? Like some type of dysmorphia on my end. I don't know. Or is it just like a shock factor where I look in the mirror and don't recognize myself? I'm supposed to feel pretty, right? Makeup has almost the opposite effect on me. Buuuuuut...sometimes I need it.

Can anyone relate? Any suggestions as to what I can do to change my perspective to something positive when I'm dressed up, yet looking in the mirror and seeing something hideous?

I don't know. It's not like I think I'm ugly or anything.

Am I making sense here? Lol
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I don't particularly like wearing make up either. It does help covering up flaws and add a little colour, but it's always noticeable even though I try to keep it as natural-looking as possible.

I'd like the way I look, if it weren't for the blemishes, scars and pallor. Especially the former is hard to accept, but I'm doing my best to make it a temporary thing. The only reasons that are left to exclude as causes are (emotional) stress and nutrition.

I think you make a lot of sense, it takes a lot of self acceptance not just to accept yourself as a person, but your physical appeareance as well. As Se inferiors, we do badly with body image, let alone covering it up. There are times where we may be so engrossed in our personality that we forget our bodies, we simply stop being aware of it. But then it comes back, just the way it is.

However, we also tend to embellish our flaws, the way we perceive them. They are sparate from us, they don't belong, we are trained to detest them. But if those we care about can see past them, why can't we too? Maybe it's time to look into the mirror to try and see what they see, rather than to seek the parts of us we wish weren't there. Even if we do want to get rid of them in the future ;)
 
@BritNi @acd @Ginny

I think makeup is fun and I like it. That said, women don't need make-up, particularly young women. Women are beautiful as we are. There should never be any pressure to wear it or not wear it. It's a choice. :)

I didn't start wearing any make-up at all until my mid-thirties, or regularly until my forties, except for mascara, which I've worn daily since I was about 33. Currently, I wear around three products daily (mascara, sheer tinted moisturizer, and brow pencil, sometimes lip balm) but I can rock a full face and do it well after starting out in my thirties being a completely clueless derp about all things make-up. I'm more into diet, sleep, water and moisturizing.

I'm with you on the dysmorphia @BritNi.
@Ginny - it never occurred to me that what you said about inferior Se is the reason, but everything wrote makes sense.

@BritNi – If you want to wear make-up go for subtle products and colors that accentuate your natural glow and features, or add a hint of color to look more polished if you're going somewhere fancy. Stay sheer. Make sure you blend. Maybe a brand like Glossier (or a similar drug store brand) would be good for you because they focus on a more natural look.
Using shadow instead of liner can help you look more natural and blended, and staying only 1/2 to 1 shade darker than your natural lip color for lipstick will help underplay any flaws with application (plus will be less noticeable if it wears off.) If you're going out and want drama, choose either lips or eyes for heavier makeup, not both!

Tutorials on both Youtube and Sephora help. Look up natural make-up, make up for your face or eye shape, or a specific skill, like liner or lips. Avoid the ultra glam IG model tutorials with layer upon layer of product. I have friends who rock this ultra glam look daily, and have nothing against however people want to wear their make-up, but it is probably overboard for you and it is an expensive habit.

@JennyDaniella is skilled with make-up so she could probably offer excellent tips.
 
Asa said:
I'm with you on the dysmorphia @BritNi.
@Ginny - it never occurred to me that what you said about inferior Se is the reason, but everything wrote makes sense.

@BritNi – If you want to wear make-up go for subtle products and colors that accentuate your natural glow and features, or add a hint of color to look more polished if you're going somewhere fancy. Stay sheer. Make sure you blend. Maybe a brand like Glossier (or a similar drug store brand) would be good for you because they focus on a more natural look.
Using shadow instead of liner can help you look more natural and blended, and staying only 1/2 to 1 shade darker than your natural lip color for lipstick will help underplay any flaws with application (plus will be less noticeable if it wears off.) If you're going out and want drama, choose either lips or eyes for heavier makeup, not both!
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Thanks :)

I don't know if you took it into account, but make-up, if worn, could also be made to fit the outfit. After all, it's a part of it, right?

Like, if you wore something flashy, but look washed out: even if you only used make-up and nothing else, it can look like it's missing something, you know?
If I was capable, I would mash up colour theory and body type to accentuate.

But I agree, nutrition, sleep and the right products are more important.
 
Ginny said:
Thanks :)

I don't know if you took it into account, but make-up, if worn, could also be made to fit the outfit. After all, it's a part of it, right?

Like, if you wore something flashy, but look washed out: even if you only used make-up and nothing else, it can look like it's missing something, you know?
If I was capable, I would mash up colour theory and body type to accentuate.

But I agree, nutrition, sleep and the right products are more important.
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Absolutely. Make-up is like clothing or jewelry.
 
acd said:
. My husband loved it but I couldn't wait to wash it off. I feel most comfortable in barely there makeup. I like to wear makeup that makes it look like I'm not wearing any makeup. Because I still have imperfections to cover and also features to play up but I don't want it to look obvious. I don't really think you need dramatic or obvious makeup to dress up. Maybe make it more about a fancy up do or something. Or go with one bold thing like a lipstick.
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I really relate to this.
Thank you for your response. I apologize it's like 4 months late. Lol. I'm horrible.

I notice that men like it, but like you, I can't stand it.
 
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