[INFJ] Friends or something more?

Ren said:
Oh boy. You are worse than me :laughing:

Not really, about the same level of overthinking I'd say
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It's not overthinking .. I rather call it thinking and planning ahead :grin:



I suppose i should just forget about him, let's be honest he won't write me if he hasn't done it by now
 
Ren said:
@BlackHorse

It just occurred to me that today is an excellent reason/excuse to get in touch. I mean, it wouldn't be strange to wish each other Happy New Year, would it?

If that's any encouragement/perspective, I'm planning to do precisely that with a romantic interest of mine. :smirk:
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BlackHorse said:
It's not overthinking .. I rather call it thinking and planning ahead :grin:

I suppose i should just forget about him, let's be honest he won't write me if he hasn't done it by now
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Sure, sure... it's not overthinking, not at all all :D

"He won't write me", "he didn't like my insta pic".... you are giving him too much power. He probably wouldn't want that, by the way, it's pressure.

You know, he's just a human being who eats and poops at the end of the day. Maybe picturing him taking a big poo would help you de-idealise him a bit?
 
Ren said:
@BlackHorse

If that's any encouragement/perspective, I'm planning to do precisely that with a romantic interest of mine. :smirk:
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Ren said:
You know, he's just a human being who eats and poops at the end of the day. Maybe picturing him taking a big poo would help you de-idealise him a bit?
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I want to hear back on this and whether you've used your own advice? :tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy::tearsofjoy:
 
Ren said:
"He won't write me", "he didn't like my insta pic".... you are giving him too much power. He probably wouldn't want that, by the way, it's pressure.
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He doesn't know he has the power tho :sweatsmile:

Ren said:
You know, he's just a human being who eats and poops at the end of the day. Maybe picturing him taking a big poo would help you de-idealise him a bit?
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Maybe i don't want to de-idealise him :screamcat: It kinda feels good having him in my dreams if that makes sense.
 
@BlackHorse

If the friendship means that much to you, then suffer through your liking of the other person until you come out the other side.

I have had a friend that have turned to more and I've expressed my desires and it has ruined the friendship which I valued more. I also had a friend that I did not express my feelings for. Instead I suffered through perhaps two or three years of having these intense feelings for that person. Eventually my feelings stabilised and thirty years on I now count her as my closest and dearest friend.

I'm all for love blossoming (I am a hopeless romantic) and would have told you to go for it when you first posted. But if you truly think the friendship is what counts here, then telling them how you feel may change the dynamic of the friendship. One person always feels that they have an upper hand and will perhaps take advantage of it or in not taking advantage of it, withdraw somewhat to avoid the hurt they might inflict on their "friend". All of a sudden you lose a potential relationship as well as possibly the friendship.
 
BlackHorse said:
He doesn't know he has the power tho :sweatsmile:
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Hmm, maybe not. But there's a risk this might define the dynamics of the relationship for the time to come and that wouldn't be good.

BlackHorse said:
Maybe i don't want to de-idealise him :screamcat: It kinda feels good having him in my dreams if that makes sense.
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INFP spotted :D

Seriously though, I get you, but again, just be aware that you might be putting yourself in an emotionally vulnerable position by indulging in those fantasies. It's the other side of the coin of the pleasure they otherwise provide.
 
JustPhil said:
If the friendship means that much to you, then suffer through your liking of the other person until you come out the other side.
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Honestly i have no idea where i even stand with him now. Right now I'm close to being done with him... At least I'm trying to be. Tell him or not to tell him comes after we start (IF we start) seeing each other again.

JustPhil said:
All girls have to do is click their fingers and a hundred guys come a running (yeah you have to sift through the shit to find the pearls
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Yeaaahh that's exactly the downside. What INFJ likes to sift through shit lol it includes small talk :laughing:
 
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