Guess Abh's Type
- Thread starter cvp12gh5
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Night Owl
This Bird Has Flown
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My wild stab: Not Fe or very inferior Fe. And my second stab makes me say INTJ. INTP is also on the table from my end, only because I haven't sat at the table long enough, nor can remember every time I have, to be able to make an accurate stab regarding the type that thou dost wear.
I wouldn't trust a blind man who stabs wildly in the dark.
Edit: "A secret garden with very high walls" - that doesn't feel very INTJ'y. It could be, but still... are you a rouge INFP... hmmm
I wouldn't trust a blind man who stabs wildly in the dark.
Edit: "A secret garden with very high walls" - that doesn't feel very INTJ'y. It could be, but still... are you a rouge INFP... hmmm
- MBTI
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- Enneagram
- 295ish
I'm sticking to my initial assessment of INTJ with a healthy and highly developed Fi.
...though INTP is quite the possibility.
Whatever your type, @Anywhere But Here , we love you just the way you are.
...though INTP is quite the possibility.
Whatever your type, @Anywhere But Here , we love you just the way you are.
cvp12gh5
What a lovely way to burn...
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Here is a nice copy and paste article I found on INTJ women. I must say, it is mostly dead on. The only problem I have with it is the bolded paragragh (will explain at end):
INTJ Female: The Unicorn Amongst The Humans
By Egle Babachinaite on June 9, 2016
INTJ women hold one of the most flexible and interesting characters of all MBTI personality types. By making up only ~0.5% of the whole human population, they are the rarest personality type. In addition to being so rare, INTJ females also like to hide from the buzzing world by staying inside their homes, at libraries and other calm and silent places where others can’t disturb their analytical chain of thoughts. INTJ women are so hard to find that people started comparing them to unicorns and wondered if they really exist. Now let’s take a deeper look into the various dimensions of the mysterious INTJ female’s life.
INTJ girl childhood
The INTJ girl’s childhood might appear harsh and difficult. It seems overwhelming for a little INTJ girl to pretend to be empathetic and girly, when completely different things and subjects catch their eye.
INTJ girls, compared to other types of girls, appear more like a boy. They often aren’t interested in touchy-feely things like hugs, kisses or other things which girls mostly like. Therefore, being among boys, where these feely things aren’t so common and necessary, is a more likely option.
Because they act more like boys in childhood, they might experience bullying from other girls for not fitting into a stereotype. The lack of acceptance might encourage INTJ girls to stick to being in the company of boys more often. It might also lead to creating a base for anxiety, where a curious mind is slowly drowning. It’s not a mistake to say that INTJ girls looks too boyish for the girls and too girly for the boys. INTJ girls start to understand that they are different than most children. Trying to fit in starts to cause too many difficulties, so their best option is choosing to be alone.
Mothers, who are raising INTJ girls, might not be fully satisfied by the complex character that this little girl is holding. It is hard for an INTJ girl during childhood to meet the expectations of relatives, who expect them to act in a standard way like how all other children act. It is even worse if an INTJ girl has to share parents’ attention with another child (especially with a sister, who meets all the criteria of being girly and empathetic). In this situation, an INTJ girl might feel rejected and start to compete for parents’ attention by becoming a perfectionist and arrogant.
INTJ female as a teenager
Childhood is one of the most essential periods which people have not just experience and joy, but also bitterness. INTJ teenage girls often might not meet expectations of others, so they become coldhearted and use this as a weapon to stay strong and calm, despite the fact that they are usually carrying intense and complex emotions, they just decide not to show them, and it’s no wonder that others might interpret that as a lack of empathy.
Being mostly with boys can encourage INTJ teen girls to compete with boys in a later period of life. INTJ girls usually get good grades in school and this can further strengthen perfectionism and arrogance. It can lead to evaluating themselves as better than others (compared to their own created level of superior feelings).
INTJ girls might not be interested in dressing themselves like other girls and can even act differently from most girls their age. That completely complicates interactions between INTJ teen girls and other girls. As a result, it can become really hard to find anything in common with others. INTJ teenage girls are usually interested in things such as philosophy, medicine, literature or physics. That makes a really big challenge to meet the same kind of girls in their age group and maintain deep conversations, or have discussions and friendships.
How they handle difficulties in younger age periods really depends on an INTJ teenage girl’s character and self-respect. If an INTJ girl is self-confident enough, that can encourage them to make lifetime goals and successfully reach them. On the other hand, others might not handle lack of support so well in these important periods of time. They might lose interest in their beloved subjects or interests and push themselves into anxiety or even depression.
Sometimes, an INTJ teen might try to push herself too hard. For that reason, perfectionism can mostly lead to self–devaluation. Always comparing herself to others can deepen anxiety, and it can become really hard to take things with ease and just relax. A harsh reality can lead to creating an inside world and make them stuck inside their own heads where they don’t feel judged, need to meet various expectations and can imagine a future that is more sweet and promising.
INTJ female relationships
INTJ women are not your average housewives, they hate when people try to fit them into stereotypically women roles. INTJ women seek a fulfilling relationship with their chosen one by creating an equivalent partnership. They seek for both partners to invest into relationship development and help each other reach their life goals.
Many people, who try to get closer, need to pass a test which is secretly hidden inside the INTJ female’s head. INTJ females are used to being misunderstood and not accepted for the way they are. So, they seek deep understanding in intimate relationships. Feeling safe and accepted for the way they are, are most preferred in creating long lasting relationships. INTJ women have a preferred trait list in which appearance isn’t first place. They also prefer hiding emotions in front of people they are not so close with, so being flirty and other touchy-feely things won’t work at all. INTJ women love challenges, especially intellectual ones, so the partner has to be intellectually challenging and prove that he can create and manage to keep deep conversations. Also, they avoid drama, so arguing isn’t welcomed if it is based on emotions or lack of arguments.
If a relationship doesn’t work, they can quickly end it. INTJ women would rather choose to be alone than in a terrible relationship. They spend a lot of time in their own analytical mind and bad company is not necessary.
INTJ women in a workplace
INTJ women take a fairly professional approach when it comes to their work. They just want to tackle intellectually interesting work challenges and compete with the male co-workers. INTJ females seek to be evaluated for their job skills and try to climb career ladders through a fair game – without using their womanly charm.
INTJ women have absolute disregard for authority and the best way to handle them is to not even try to handle them. They love their independence. If they think that a task doesn’t make any sense, they might even refuse to do it. INTJ females hate when someone tries to tell them what to do and which methods to use.
INTJ females also prefer to work in small, like-minded groups or even work alone. They just love to have freedom in their work environment and it is a big mistake from the manager’s perspective not to give it to them. INTJ females hate repetitive tasks and will seek to design a system to automate the process or make it more efficient.
Getting into colleagues’ social circle might be a challenge. INTJ women value expertise and skills over social activities and gossip. They also hate small talk and see it as a time wasting activity.
INTJ women’s confidence can be confused with arrogance, but they just try to focus on their job and leave everything unrelated to it behind. Every task must be completed perfectly, and they just don’t have time to create relationships or have friendly communication with colleagues.
Other INTJ female traits
INTJ female humor is dark. They prefer dark humor or other insensitive humor forms over anything else and it might look too hard to handle for more sensitive people. But in right group of people, who understand sarcastic jokes, they are called as having a really good sense of humor.
Most INTJ women don’t find children attractive and cute. While other people (especially women) are losing their minds for babies, INTJ females mostly find them disturbing, too loud and ain’t cute at all. They also don’t follow created frames of usual family and might choose to have dogs, cats or other pets instead of raising children.
Books reading is in the top of their activity list. INTJ females love to prepare themselves for various intellectually challenging discussions and simply love to learn something new. So, if you are thinking about giving a present for an INTJ woman, you just can’t go wrong with the coupons of a near bookshop.
People think they are sad. That is not true – they just love hiding emotions and serious face expression is their natural look. They are just deep inside their own heads thinking about more interesting things than you have to say.
Bolded
***That paragraph is not completely true. It's true that I do not think all children are cute. Most of them are assholes. But I still think some of them are cute. Like my kids. But they can be assholes sometimes too.
And it's true that I do not lose my mind over babies, but I am not repulsed by them. I just avoid o.p.b.'s and when mine is unmanageable, I hand him off to the hubs STAT.
What I think I'm saying here is that I don't hate kids. That's a bit extreme. I just can't tolerate them all the time.
@Free @charlatan @Night Owl @hush
INTJ Female: The Unicorn Amongst The Humans
By Egle Babachinaite on June 9, 2016
INTJ women hold one of the most flexible and interesting characters of all MBTI personality types. By making up only ~0.5% of the whole human population, they are the rarest personality type. In addition to being so rare, INTJ females also like to hide from the buzzing world by staying inside their homes, at libraries and other calm and silent places where others can’t disturb their analytical chain of thoughts. INTJ women are so hard to find that people started comparing them to unicorns and wondered if they really exist. Now let’s take a deeper look into the various dimensions of the mysterious INTJ female’s life.
INTJ girl childhood
The INTJ girl’s childhood might appear harsh and difficult. It seems overwhelming for a little INTJ girl to pretend to be empathetic and girly, when completely different things and subjects catch their eye.
INTJ girls, compared to other types of girls, appear more like a boy. They often aren’t interested in touchy-feely things like hugs, kisses or other things which girls mostly like. Therefore, being among boys, where these feely things aren’t so common and necessary, is a more likely option.
Because they act more like boys in childhood, they might experience bullying from other girls for not fitting into a stereotype. The lack of acceptance might encourage INTJ girls to stick to being in the company of boys more often. It might also lead to creating a base for anxiety, where a curious mind is slowly drowning. It’s not a mistake to say that INTJ girls looks too boyish for the girls and too girly for the boys. INTJ girls start to understand that they are different than most children. Trying to fit in starts to cause too many difficulties, so their best option is choosing to be alone.
Mothers, who are raising INTJ girls, might not be fully satisfied by the complex character that this little girl is holding. It is hard for an INTJ girl during childhood to meet the expectations of relatives, who expect them to act in a standard way like how all other children act. It is even worse if an INTJ girl has to share parents’ attention with another child (especially with a sister, who meets all the criteria of being girly and empathetic). In this situation, an INTJ girl might feel rejected and start to compete for parents’ attention by becoming a perfectionist and arrogant.
INTJ female as a teenager
Childhood is one of the most essential periods which people have not just experience and joy, but also bitterness. INTJ teenage girls often might not meet expectations of others, so they become coldhearted and use this as a weapon to stay strong and calm, despite the fact that they are usually carrying intense and complex emotions, they just decide not to show them, and it’s no wonder that others might interpret that as a lack of empathy.
Being mostly with boys can encourage INTJ teen girls to compete with boys in a later period of life. INTJ girls usually get good grades in school and this can further strengthen perfectionism and arrogance. It can lead to evaluating themselves as better than others (compared to their own created level of superior feelings).
INTJ girls might not be interested in dressing themselves like other girls and can even act differently from most girls their age. That completely complicates interactions between INTJ teen girls and other girls. As a result, it can become really hard to find anything in common with others. INTJ teenage girls are usually interested in things such as philosophy, medicine, literature or physics. That makes a really big challenge to meet the same kind of girls in their age group and maintain deep conversations, or have discussions and friendships.
How they handle difficulties in younger age periods really depends on an INTJ teenage girl’s character and self-respect. If an INTJ girl is self-confident enough, that can encourage them to make lifetime goals and successfully reach them. On the other hand, others might not handle lack of support so well in these important periods of time. They might lose interest in their beloved subjects or interests and push themselves into anxiety or even depression.
Sometimes, an INTJ teen might try to push herself too hard. For that reason, perfectionism can mostly lead to self–devaluation. Always comparing herself to others can deepen anxiety, and it can become really hard to take things with ease and just relax. A harsh reality can lead to creating an inside world and make them stuck inside their own heads where they don’t feel judged, need to meet various expectations and can imagine a future that is more sweet and promising.
INTJ female relationships
INTJ women are not your average housewives, they hate when people try to fit them into stereotypically women roles. INTJ women seek a fulfilling relationship with their chosen one by creating an equivalent partnership. They seek for both partners to invest into relationship development and help each other reach their life goals.
Many people, who try to get closer, need to pass a test which is secretly hidden inside the INTJ female’s head. INTJ females are used to being misunderstood and not accepted for the way they are. So, they seek deep understanding in intimate relationships. Feeling safe and accepted for the way they are, are most preferred in creating long lasting relationships. INTJ women have a preferred trait list in which appearance isn’t first place. They also prefer hiding emotions in front of people they are not so close with, so being flirty and other touchy-feely things won’t work at all. INTJ women love challenges, especially intellectual ones, so the partner has to be intellectually challenging and prove that he can create and manage to keep deep conversations. Also, they avoid drama, so arguing isn’t welcomed if it is based on emotions or lack of arguments.
If a relationship doesn’t work, they can quickly end it. INTJ women would rather choose to be alone than in a terrible relationship. They spend a lot of time in their own analytical mind and bad company is not necessary.
INTJ women in a workplace
INTJ women take a fairly professional approach when it comes to their work. They just want to tackle intellectually interesting work challenges and compete with the male co-workers. INTJ females seek to be evaluated for their job skills and try to climb career ladders through a fair game – without using their womanly charm.
INTJ women have absolute disregard for authority and the best way to handle them is to not even try to handle them. They love their independence. If they think that a task doesn’t make any sense, they might even refuse to do it. INTJ females hate when someone tries to tell them what to do and which methods to use.
INTJ females also prefer to work in small, like-minded groups or even work alone. They just love to have freedom in their work environment and it is a big mistake from the manager’s perspective not to give it to them. INTJ females hate repetitive tasks and will seek to design a system to automate the process or make it more efficient.
Getting into colleagues’ social circle might be a challenge. INTJ women value expertise and skills over social activities and gossip. They also hate small talk and see it as a time wasting activity.
INTJ women’s confidence can be confused with arrogance, but they just try to focus on their job and leave everything unrelated to it behind. Every task must be completed perfectly, and they just don’t have time to create relationships or have friendly communication with colleagues.
Other INTJ female traits
INTJ female humor is dark. They prefer dark humor or other insensitive humor forms over anything else and it might look too hard to handle for more sensitive people. But in right group of people, who understand sarcastic jokes, they are called as having a really good sense of humor.
Most INTJ women don’t find children attractive and cute. While other people (especially women) are losing their minds for babies, INTJ females mostly find them disturbing, too loud and ain’t cute at all. They also don’t follow created frames of usual family and might choose to have dogs, cats or other pets instead of raising children.
Books reading is in the top of their activity list. INTJ females love to prepare themselves for various intellectually challenging discussions and simply love to learn something new. So, if you are thinking about giving a present for an INTJ woman, you just can’t go wrong with the coupons of a near bookshop.
People think they are sad. That is not true – they just love hiding emotions and serious face expression is their natural look. They are just deep inside their own heads thinking about more interesting things than you have to say.
Bolded
***That paragraph is not completely true. It's true that I do not think all children are cute. Most of them are assholes. But I still think some of them are cute. Like my kids. But they can be assholes sometimes too.
And it's true that I do not lose my mind over babies, but I am not repulsed by them. I just avoid o.p.b.'s and when mine is unmanageable, I hand him off to the hubs STAT.
What I think I'm saying here is that I don't hate kids. That's a bit extreme. I just can't tolerate them all the time.
@Free @charlatan @Night Owl @hush
Last edited:
ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc
Well-known member
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I'm glad we've come to this conclusion. If you were INTP, you'd be gross. (you think I'm being self-deprecating, but I aint even joking)
cvp12gh5
What a lovely way to burn...
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Come on now. Not all INTP's are gross, Ruj. Just you. <3
hush
Retired Staff
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Yup, totally projecting there, ruru. <3
ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc
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Projecting my vomit, yes.
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Now, mostly I'd agree with this, however only in the young adult life stage. The INTJ women that I know had babies later in life, one at 39, the other at 44.
The average age for women to start baby making in the US is around 25. That's extraordinarily young in the sense that the average 25 year old female INTJ is starting to get her ducks in a row, is immersing herself in her career, planning for the future, that sort of thing.
I don't think INTJs inherently dislike children, but I do feel that when they still need a bit of time to ferment and mature, children can be an obstacle for them.
In your case, I've always said that you're just a bit more evolved emotionally, your experiences in life have shaped your world and turned you into a damn good mother. Just as each INTJ's upringing and personal experiences will shape them. Be proud of that!
<3
ZcM4xzkjgzCjytBc
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That's not what I meant! But, already you know that
Certain T types would be more interested in progressing their lives on a professional level at a young adult age instead of looking to settle down and make babies.
Sure, I mean like I said, from a "dimensions" standpoint, you do seem like you could be some kind of INTJ, even if I don't have a strong view on it (I should say that rather than dichotomies -- by dimensions I mean interpreting the MBTI as predicting 4 variables which can have a range of values, not just either/or -- because that interpretation has no basis in reality ...and for dissenters, I suggest reading about McCrae and Costa's study about the MBTI's parallels with the Big 5 -- there's a reason academic psychology rarely accepts either/or typologies).
The individual letters may not be as pronounced (you got a bunch of balanced scores in previous occasions), but holistically we need to consider scale-combinations too (there are personality descriptors fitting better within the intersection of two scales than in individual ones).
Functions are a can of worms because to be totally honest, since there's no single system (Jung, Beebe, Myers, Grant, socionics, etc) that is empirically finalized, I found the best way to settle on my own type (without which I kept doubting it...as I seem to doubt my enneagram nowadays) is to figure out all their subtle similarities/differences and have a way of tying it all together.
Like I said, starting point may be Fi.
There's not too much difficulty in imagining Jungian-F types who may score T with some balance between the F and T sides, as I think you did once. So I'm less certain of where to place you in T-F in that framework. I lean T in a dimensional framework, though.
F in a functions theory framework is more connected to the cognitive evaluative content (ie value judgments, as they say) that is only intuited by emotional factors but is brought to clarity by reflection.
The individual letters may not be as pronounced (you got a bunch of balanced scores in previous occasions), but holistically we need to consider scale-combinations too (there are personality descriptors fitting better within the intersection of two scales than in individual ones).
Functions are a can of worms because to be totally honest, since there's no single system (Jung, Beebe, Myers, Grant, socionics, etc) that is empirically finalized, I found the best way to settle on my own type (without which I kept doubting it...as I seem to doubt my enneagram nowadays) is to figure out all their subtle similarities/differences and have a way of tying it all together.
Like I said, starting point may be Fi.
There's not too much difficulty in imagining Jungian-F types who may score T with some balance between the F and T sides, as I think you did once. So I'm less certain of where to place you in T-F in that framework. I lean T in a dimensional framework, though.
F in a functions theory framework is more connected to the cognitive evaluative content (ie value judgments, as they say) that is only intuited by emotional factors but is brought to clarity by reflection.
cvp12gh5
What a lovely way to burn...
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I would agree. I do feel a bit more evolved emotionally and I think it has a lot to do with the abuse I went through as a child. My need to understand my past led me down roads that I probably wouldn't have traveled otherwise. I mentioned before that I work with the courts as an advocate for children that come from abusive homes. My job is to protect that child's rights and needs and to make sure that they end up in a good home where they will thrive. I see and hear things that the judge does not have assess to. I am able to get inside the mind of the child and the abuser(s). I interview doctors, therapists, teachers, parents, relatives...anyone relevant to the case. And then I put together a report for the courts and make my recommendation. That doesn't really sound like someone who dislikes children, does it? These children are innocent. They didn't ask to be born into such a hateful, unloving situation. They need to be protected by us.
But...that doesn't change the fact that most children are assholes, lol. But asshole or not, not one of them deserves to be hurt by people that are supposed to love and protect them.
At least something good came from my difficult past.
cvp12gh5
What a lovely way to burn...
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cvp12gh5
What a lovely way to burn...
- MBTI
- Intui
- Enneagram
- Thinking
I meant to comment on this part too. I had my children in my thirties (still in them!
) and that was a big decision for me. I value my independence and I loved my job so I didn't know how I would fit a child into my life. But we decided to go for it. And while I love my children dearly, I still struggle everyday with the responsibilities that are attached to being "Mom". My husband is my perfect match because as soon as he sees that 'look' on my face, he jumps right in and takes over. He understands how difficult certain things are for me but he appreciates that I always work at it. That is all that matters.I recently talked to my father after not doing so for 15 plus years, and he was commenting on how strange it was to hear that I was married with children. When I asked him why, he said that he never pictured me going down that road. I always seemed driven to do other things and marriage and children didn't seem like it was on my to-do list. Interesting observation.
But I am happy to say that I am glad I went down that road.
- MBTI
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- Enneagram
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The work you do for children is very admirable, and sorely needed. I had my own encounters with those in your field when I adopted my nephew to keep him out of the system. I was surprised to see how thorough some can be. When I think of and hear horror stories of 'the system', I always remind myself of people like you, who work to improve it on behalf of the children. You're absolutely right, they are innocent and it's up to us to protect them.I meant to comment on this part too. I had my children in my thirties (still in them!
I recently talked to my father after not doing so for 15 plus years, and he was commenting on how strange it was to hear that I was married with children. When I asked him why, he said that he never pictured me going down that road. I always seemed driven to do other things and marriage and children didn't seem like it was on my to-do list. Interesting observation.
But I am happy to say that I am glad I went down that road.
Even though there's this misconception that INTJs dislikes children, what you do actually falls directly in line with an INTJ type of goal, to make an impact for the greater good. What better way to improve our society than to start with those who will inherit it? I hate it that INTJs are painted like an emotionless robot, when the truth is far, far from that. Just because it's not written all over your face, or worn on your sleeve doesn't mean you don't feel very deeply or are extremely passionate in what you do.
Your husband sounds like the prefect partner in crime for you. I love dad's who participate in their children's lives instead of leaving it all to mom. You're the type of people who will raise intelligent, independent, and responsible human beings, and I wish more parents out there were like you.
And I couldn't agree with more, many kids out there are just little assholes, lmao. Sometimes they remind of tiny little sociopaths since they haven't really developed their own moral compasses yet.
But yeah, INTJ, girl. Fly your flag proudly!
<3