[INFJ] Help needed: how to approach an INFJ?

Pin said:
I don't understand this eagerness to enter a relationship from a man under thirty.
Love is a luxury for accomplished men, a distraction for men of no distinction.

There is a lot you can achieve in your youth. You could join the military and lead battalions, start a business and make millions, even begin a political career.

How can someone with all of this potential be infatuated with a mere human being? There's billions of women on this earth.

Glory is on the line and you're getting distracted.
Focus!
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Story of my life, I couldn't agree more. However now I feel like supressing my inferior Fe takes more effort than relationship would. Too much collected energy [(secretly) want to hug you all! ] and there is no way to use it.
 
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Finally I've seen her. It was a little crowded and I totally didn't expect that. In 0,1 s I made a decision to just stop and block her with my hand. Than I looked directly into her eyes. I don't know how long it was - two seconds..? She totally didn't notice / react to that, she was like in 100% Ni mode on. No contact with reality at all. :hushed:

I moved my hand back and let her go. I think that she didn't ignore me on purpose (from my experience INFJs are bad actors). She rather didn't notice me consciously or was too shocked to react instantly. There was no facial expressions and she was looking ahead "through the glass". Now I am wondering if after processing information she will realize what happened.

Please share your thoughts.
 
INTP user said:
I am 99,5% sure that attraction is mutual.
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How do you know this if you've never talked to her/she hasn't talked to you?
INTP user said:
Age - I can go for 10 to 20 years younger ;> The problem occurs when you want to meet them. I am not a teacher or something like that ;D
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!
Is that why people become teachers?
INTP user said:
In my country it is easier to find a catholic girl than atheist, so no need to make a fuss.
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INTP user said:
I'm not interested in relationship with 30yo girls.
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INTP user said:
I prefer younger girls. I don't want to be forced to have kids at the moment.
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It would really help to know what country you are from. A lot of the things you have said sound creepy from the perspective of someone in the US.
INTP user said:
Finally I've seen her. It was a little crowded and I totally didn't expect that. In 0,1 s I made a decision to just stop and block her with my hand. Than I looked directly into her eyes. I don't know how long it was - two seconds..? She totally didn't notice / react to that, she was like in 100% Ni mode on. No contact with reality at all. :hushed:
I moved my hand back and let her go. I think that she didn't ignore me on purpose (from my experience INFJs are bad actors). She rather didn't notice me consciously or was too shocked to react instantly. There was no facial expressions and she was looking ahead "through the glass". Now I am wondering if after processing information she will realize what happened.
Please share your thoughts.
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If you were looking directly at her and actually blocking her path- as in your arm or hand was keeping her from moving forward- I do not believe she was just too wrapped up in her thoughts to notice. If I am deep in thought, there are a lot of things in my environment that I may not notice, but I will definitely notice if someone or something is blocking my path.
Making direct eye contact and using your hand to block a stranger sounds super intimidating/aggressive. Why can't you just say hello and start by talking about the weather or something else in the immediate environment and progress from there? Why do you immediately go for a physical introduction?
Again, it would help to know what country you are from and currently in.
 
INFJ16 said:
How do you know this if you've never talked to her/she hasn't talked to you?
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She definitely was when she during first interaction - it was just obvious. Maybe I became ugly and repulsive..? :neutral:

INFJ16 said:
It would really help to know what country you are from. A lot of the things you have said sound creepy from the perspective of someone in the US.
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Eastern Europe if it matters.

INFJ16 said:
If you were looking directly at her and actually blocking her path- as in your arm or hand was keeping her from moving forward- I do not believe she was just too wrapped up in her thoughts to notice. If I am deep in thought, there are a lot of things in my environment that I may not notice, but I will definitely notice if someone or something is blocking my path.
Making direct eye contact and using your hand to block a stranger sounds super intimidating/aggressive. Why can't you just say hello and start by talking about the weather or something else in the immediate environment and progress from there? Why do you immediately go for a physical introduction?
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I said it was crowded so it wasn't anything unexpected to be blocked - I just used slightly more space than it was needed. Also I did not use straight hand to block, it was still close to my body, probably not visible for her. I am bad at overstepping personal boundaries (even when needed // polar Se), you really shouldn't accuse me of that :nomouth: If random guy (gender matters) would do that on me I wouldn't think about it for more than a second.

Why I did not just say "hi"? Starting conversation without eye contact is also "creepy". How do you imagine that? I am saying hi and she goes away because she doesn't know me and doesn't expect to talk to her. Especially if her mind is somewhere else. I guess it this situation it was physically impossible to start conversation without turning back and chasing her.

An eye contact also gives information what can I expect during conversation (and if it is worth starting). I am horrible at small talk, I am only able to do it Ne way and go with a flow. It's more natural for me to start a conversation about a curb or a seagull breeding habits with total stranger than talk about weather or any "normal" thing. In perfect situation I would prefer to start prolonged eye contact and than approach. I did what I was able to do, still better than nothing.
 
INTP user said:
Maybe I became ugly and repulsive..? :neutral:
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Girls are less concerned with looks than guys are. They are more attracted to behavior, so you CAN become repulsive. I'm not saying that's what happened, but I think it's important to know this.

INTP user said:
you really shouldn't accuse me of that
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We're dealing with a limited amount of information. It isn't unreasonable to make loose assumptions which act as assertions to be challenged.
 
ruji said:
Girls are less concerned with looks than guys are. They are more attracted to behavior, so you CAN become repulsive. I'm not saying that's what happened, but I think it's important to know this.
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What I think it is still better risking being perceived as repulsive than being unnoticed. Another thing is that you can do more inappropriate things if there is some kind of attraction.

ruji said:
We're dealing with a limited amount of information. It isn't unreasonable to make loose assumptions which act as assertions to be challenged.
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Sometimes I exaggerate and than I have to explain it is not exactly as I said. I think this is misunderstanding between extroverted and introverted perceiving. When I am speaking things are getting bigger than they are in reality and some people are not taking that into consideration. I see that pattern over and over. Especially my ISFJ grandmother takes some of my jokes seriously..
 
INTP user said:
Finally I've seen her. It was a little crowded and I totally didn't expect that. In 0,1 s I made a decision to just stop and block her with my hand. Than I looked directly into her eyes. I don't know how long it was - two seconds..? She totally didn't notice / react to that, she was like in 100% Ni mode on. No contact with reality at all. :hushed:

I moved my hand back and let her go. I think that she didn't ignore me on purpose (from my experience INFJs are bad actors). She rather didn't notice me consciously or was too shocked to react instantly. There was no facial expressions and she was looking ahead "through the glass". Now I am wondering if after processing information she will realize what happened.

Please share your thoughts.
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You stopped her with your hand and looked directly into her eyes. She didn’t notice being stopped and gawked at.
This didn’t happen. You are full of shit.
 
the said:
You stopped her with your hand and looked directly into her eyes. She didn’t notice being stopped and gawked at.
This didn’t happen. You are full of shit.
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8850d1462611405-double-rear-wing-fors-66885541.jpg
 
I think it's hilarious how ruji feels the need to hide his opinions behind jokes and memes. no exceptions.
 
INTP user said:
Finally I've seen her. It was a little crowded and I totally didn't expect that. In 0,1 s I made a decision to just stop and block her with my hand. Than I looked directly into her eyes. I don't know how long it was - two seconds..? She totally didn't notice / react to that, she was like in 100% Ni mode on. No contact with reality at all. :hushed:

I moved my hand back and let her go. I think that she didn't ignore me on purpose (from my experience INFJs are bad actors). She rather didn't notice me consciously or was too shocked to react instantly. There was no facial expressions and she was looking ahead "through the glass". Now I am wondering if after processing information she will realize what happened.

Please share your thoughts.
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Kornheiser_Why.JPG
 
the said:
You stopped her with your hand and looked directly into her eyes. She didn’t notice being stopped and gawked at.
This didn’t happen. You are full of shit.
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Or it did, but she ignored him because she felt the behavior was aggressive and somewhat threatening. If someone did that to me, I'd walk past them and pretend they weren't even there and hope to not run into them again... Because you don't want to end up in a confrontation or awkward situation with someone who is not respecting your space.
 
acd said:
Or it did, but she ignored him because she felt the behavior was aggressive and somewhat threatening. If someone did that to me, I'd walk past them and pretend they weren't even there and hope to not run into them again... Because you don't want to end up in a confrontation or awkward situation with someone who is not respecting your space.
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What do you know, you’re just a woman.
 
ruji said:
I should inform you that he and @acd are friends, and he is known to troll.
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You're gonna have to explain it at the 3rd grader level (cause she's a woman).
 
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If someone just stepped into my space by showing any kind of physical touch without so much as an introduction I will avoid them for as long as I can from there on out.... also I think you’ll need to initiate this.... by using your words, otherwise you guys will just keep staring at each other indefinitely....and being yourself as the others have stated when that happens..... also this seems like a Love at first sight situation.... be very wary, strong chemistry doesn’t always equal something that will last.... get to know her first before you come on too strong..... this is the type of scenario where people get hurt if they don’t pace themselves
 
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