How do you accept yourself?

The thing to do is to get rid of this idea of 'normal'. Everyone is abnormal in some way or another, and experiencing stress, toxic relationships, etc. is quite common unfortunately. Normal is a collective ideal that virtually everyone falls short of, which is probably for the best because the world would be horribly boring if that were not the case.
 
Hm. It's tough. I think it takes a lot of time, self-compassion, and reflection.

I think a big part of it is letting go of the stupid stuff you've done, and forgiving yourself. There's a poem I really love, that sums this up.

Remember, you weren’t the one
Who made you ashamed,
But you are the one
Who can make you proud.
 
Faye said:
The thing to do is to get rid of this idea of 'normal'. Everyone is abnormal in some way or another, and experiencing stress, toxic relationships, etc. is quite common unfortunately. Normal is a collective ideal that virtually everyone falls short of, which is probably for the best because the world would be horribly boring if that were not the case.
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Thank you for your reply. Can I ask you something? If a close friend of yours came to a funeral of your loved one dressed like this, how would you react or feel?

Classy-and-Formal-Daytime-Wedding-Guest-Outfits.webp
 
Madgirl143 said:
Thank you for your reply. Can I ask you something? If a close friend of yours came to a funeral of your loved one dressed like this, how would you react or feel?

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Traditional funeral attire is black formal whereas that outfit looks carefree. I would most likely be insulted and would tell them that it is not appropriate funeral clothing.
 
Madgirl143 said:
I don't know anymore, hm maybe I should have posted this under emotional support lol. I just feel so lost in labels that I don't know who I am anymore, but I'm not sure why.
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If you let go of all the labels and
Madgirl143 said:
So my question is silly? I just thought other people have been through this. I mean I understand what you mean and I know that these things take time. I just want to understand whether I am just complicating myself for no reason. And how come some people don't care, how do they get to be like that?
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Why one cares or not is based I think on different factors. The most important one being necessity...how necessary is it to care? If for you personally something is worth looking into then why seek validation with others? Unless you're worried about the extend or frequency in which you stress out over something i. e like when behavior becomes manic...

I always try to think of how much of a problem it is that I'm facing... on a world level or scale..usually that does the trick into grounding me ;)

Who you are is ultimately up to you.
Mold your mind to hold balance in what you do, feel and undertake and you will start hearing that deep innermost voice more clearly. No need for labels. They don't make up who you are. They are merely guidelines I suppose.. You are just your own magnificent self. .No more no less
 
Wyote said:
It's my amazingly indescribable toenail :/
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Which toenail?
Tin Man said:
Hm. It's tough. I think it takes a lot of time, self-compassion, and reflection.

I think a big part of it is letting go of the stupid stuff you've done, and forgiving yourself. There's a poem I really love, that sums this up.

Remember, you weren’t the one
Who made you ashamed,
But you are the one
Who can make you proud.
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Qft. Also that’s a lovely poem.

@Madgirl143 I don’t know your age, but I can say that the older I feel more at ease with myself. I try to view my life as a learning experience and I’m not concerned with what others think of me. People will say what they will and that’s fine. My focus is on spending time and caring for my loved ones.

As for MBTI, it’s a good indicator however it’s not perfect. And to answer your question, yes I’ve been in a toxic relationship and it took time to realize that I wasn’t the crazy one. The things that toxic people try to fill your head with will make you question yourself which is exactly what they want you to do. They’re bitter and weak people. The scars fade in time.

Madgirl143 said:
Thank you for your reply. Can I ask you something? If a close friend of yours came to a funeral of your loved one dressed like this, how would you react or feel?

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It wouldn’t matter to me. I would think they had their reasons. Perhaps they’re sad and the deceased loved one liked floral patterns. Maybe they’re self absorbed and want attention. They made an appearance and isn't that really the point?
 
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Ginny said:
In addition to what Wyote wrote:

Just think of yourself with all the labels and experiences removed. What remains of you? IMO, there is always something left, even if it is only a small part, that is singular to every person. And that is something that you can focus on, like an internal compass.
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How do you even find that? Is it possible? And how would you know once you do?
 
Wyote said:
You troll too much
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fgltPVF.gif
 
Icedream said:
How do you even find that? Is it possible? And how would you know once you do?
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What do you mean exactly?

@Madgirl143 about the clothing: before getting mad, there might be something to it. I'd ask if there was a specific reason. With some people, it might be a piece of clothing or an outfit that they shared a moment in (being complimented or something), or it's an overall attitude of either person towards either death or the colour black. I'd be especially offended, though, if it were merely to look flashy among the others, or to pick someone up at the funeral. That would be disrespectful towards both the deceased and the bereaved.
 
Ginny said:
Sure, but so are you.

Fact is, I'm not sure if I want to know.
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You are correct. I am which is why I bluntly asked for a pic. I’m not a podiatrist however I am somewhat knowledgeable about feet.
 
Madgirl143 said:
Have you ever been in a toxic relationship or experience that left you so broken that you weren't sure whether you had a mental illness or whether it was just because of your MBTI? How did you deal with it and steer clear of it? How did you accept yourself in terms of MBTI?

I ask this because sometimes I feel like being an INFJ makes me feel fake, as if I'm really not one. I know INFJs have a lot of contradictions in their personality but they match some mental illnesses as well. How do you discern whether you're normal or not, especially when you're constantly under stress?
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Highly empathetic people soak up energies non-stop. We are spiritual creatures living a human existence. Your emotions may not always be your own. Remember this.

It's easier when you get older to manage your empathy and to push off negative or unwanted emotions that harm your energy field.

I've been in a very toxic relationship, one where I lost myself you could say, but after I put a final nail in that coffin, the healing process began and after some time I was me again. And now, after learning from those times what is NOT healthy for me, I can see immediate signs that spark red flags. And with swift judgment, I won't allow anything to threaten my peace of mind, so long as I can control it. Usually it's not the situation / thing / person itself, but the feelings generated by a situation. So it's a matter of managing and controlling your own mind, and focusing on solutions rather than being controlled by your emotions.

At work I deal with unwarranted harassment from management. And it's a matter of fighting off negativity (mostly thoughts) and keeping my inner peace. It pertains to an individual and a situation I have little control over, so I've weighed the consequences, potential courses of action, and after many months, have found windows of peace to enter when a situation occurs, which makes recurring episodes more tolerable. And, after I leave this job, I will be proud of how I took hold of a seemingly powerless situation.

Meditation has also done wonders for me lately. Seek out reiki / yoga, and other forms of spiritual cleansing.
 
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