[ESTP] How Do You Handle Passive Aggression?

[HJpAjcdO0X]

Lol it's pretty cut and dry for me, either state what your issue is or don't bother having one. If it's not enough of a big deal to speak up about whatever it is then don't even hand me some sort of attitude, silent treatment, etc. I will just exile an individual exhibiting that behavior.
Just be open and honest, lets nix the shit now and any possibility of a repeat in the future. Voila.

 

[Alexithymia]

Lol it's pretty cut and dry for me, either state what your issue is or don't bother having one. If it's not enough of a big deal to speak up about whatever it is then don't even hand me some sort of attitude, silent treatment, etc. I will just exile an individual exhibiting that behavior.
Just be open and honest, lets nix the shit now and any possibility of a repeat in the future. Voila.

I like this.

 

[Jopetzki]

Gotta bring it up, when the instigator's afraid to. People gotta be taught that anger is okay, and they can be active with it, and who's better at teaching than an INFJ eh.

 

[slant]

Caught myself being passive aggressive today. I'm trying to identify the patterns in myself and stop them.

I realize I am passive aggressive when I have a need that I want somebody to help me meet, and I will just automatically assume that the other person doesn't want to help me or isn't capable of helping me without even discussing it with them and giving them the opportunity to support me.

I think because I am so used to shouldering my own needs and others not being willing to meet them or treating my needs as being unimportant that I'm inadvertently shutting myself down before trying to ask people to help so that I don't experience rejection of my needs.

And I am also making unfair assumptions about other people's genuine care for me and willingness to work with me to make sure both of our needs get met.

I was characterizing a good friend of mine as being unable to help because of their own fears and kind of acting like I have to step up and be the only one taking care of things. Later my friend without my promoting offered to help me in exactly the way I needed. It really knocked me down a few pegs with the assumptions I made about them. Yes, it was based on past behavior, but you would be surprised how people enjoy rising to the challenge for people they love.

It's like I just get in my own fears and instead of take a risk and be vulnerable and ask for help I take on things when others can and are perfectly willing to evenly take on some of the work.

So this passive aggressive thing-- it has a source. And to mitigate it we have to start becoming aware of that source.