How do you maneuver friendships with the opposite sex?
- Thread starter Gaze
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There's a reason the stereotype exists.
Gaze
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But it kind of depends on everyone's personal experiences, doesn't it? Personality, social interaction, personal motives, relational needs, all play a role in how relationships including friendships develop. Simply because one person has had the opportunity to develop platonic relationships with friends of both sexes, doesn't mean someone else who has tried will.
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On my own path
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+1
Exactly it is based on personal experiences. Hence you cannot ethically truly declare ones negative observations as being ubiquitous fact. Your casting judgment over millions of people, the majority I am pretty sure you do not personally know. How does seem respectful of others individuality? How does that seem right? Further more how is that being open minded?
And, another point is that you are criticising people for "crimes" that they have not committed. Those of us who do not follow or are examples of stereotypes are sometimes outcasted and treated poorly by others. By virtue of stereotypes you can end up supplementing someone's feelings of being marginalised.And some, out of these, feelings conform to the stereotypes out of a " damned if I do, damned if I do not" mentality. Hence you are. perhaps, contributing to that which you are complaining about. How does that make sense? How is that thinking in terms of the big picture? How is that being empathetic?
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acd
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Maneuver? I don't like what that word connotes. Like I have to continually dodge stuff and actively plan how I'm going to present myself and interact..
My friendships with the opposite sex feel quite natural. I don't feel any different around my male friends than I do my female friends.
The only difference is that I can't seriously talk about periods with them.
My friendships with the opposite sex feel quite natural. I don't feel any different around my male friends than I do my female friends.
The only difference is that I can't seriously talk about periods with them.
Reon
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If I decide that I'm not interested in a girl at the beginning of the relationship, I'll leave it as just that. If the initial spark isn't there and it shows up months later, I find that typically it's not really meant to be. I don't really tend to go out of my way to make female friends because I do feel that a lot of opposite sex relationships are based on latent attraction (I made a thread about why people interact with the opposite sex and I couldn't find many platonic reasons outside of work) and yes, ladies, some guys do eventually want to get in your pants. And, of course, women do this as well. In a different way, of course, typically I see that some women, after deciding that they like a man, will try to "groom" them as a friend to be the perfect man that'll attract all kinds of women, but the only women the woman who is teaching has in mind is herself.
Perhaps they offer a more keen observation of the actions of their sex, but outside of that, no. I prefer male friendships because they can, theoretically, be more open and useful. You don't have to worry about any sexual tension or crossing a line within reason. They can teach you about the similar roles in society you have to fill.
Although I do have an easier time making friends with women than most guys, I do have a lot of male friends even though I don't talk about cars and sports. I'm always willing to learn so that's why most guys keep me around.
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Jonathan
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How do you maneuver friendships with the opposite sex?
I personally, am never interested in a girl immediately. For me, the personality and values of the girl I spend time with are usually not what I'm looking for in a relationship. I live in a small town, so there are limited choices for me, I guess. With the girls I'm friends with, there's kind of an unspoken law that we remain friends unless we talk about it first. I've actually had that conversation with two close friends, and we agreed that there was no spark.
Do you think that friendships with those of the opposite sex offer something different or unique which same sex friendships don't? Why or why not?
I think that friendships with the opposite sex help you to really understand them. Because it's not really normal to have friends that are the opposite sex, society seems to be saying that men and women always have trouble understanding eachother. From my own experience, I don't think that's true. I think that if you really listen to and try to understand the opposite sex, you can eventually develop a deeper understanding of them. This doesn't mean you will relate to them or identify with them necessarily, but you can kind of get an idea of what they're thinking and feeling if you spend time with them.
Plus, from a guy's perspective, I think it gives you a chance to develop your relationship skills with girls. You learn what to say, what not to say, and generally how to act around the girl you're dating. I think it also gives you more respect for girls as people, and not just sex objects.
Do you find it harder, as a guy, to be friends with other men more than most?
Yes, in a way. I share few interests with most of the men I know. However, they appreciate the fact that I'm good with conversations and that I'll listen to what they have to say without criticizing.
Most of the guys I know have a hard time taking things seriously around other guys, so it can be refreshing for them to ba able to talk about something meaningful without all the back and forth. Because of this, I don't really spend much time with men socially, but I do have long term friendships with a few.
The conversation style girls generally use is easier for me to deal with. Yes, there's drama sometimes, but I'm willing to put up with it. For me, it's easier than all the hating on eachother and teasing, like TG brought up. It really gets on my nerves after a while.
I personally, am never interested in a girl immediately. For me, the personality and values of the girl I spend time with are usually not what I'm looking for in a relationship. I live in a small town, so there are limited choices for me, I guess. With the girls I'm friends with, there's kind of an unspoken law that we remain friends unless we talk about it first. I've actually had that conversation with two close friends, and we agreed that there was no spark.
Do you think that friendships with those of the opposite sex offer something different or unique which same sex friendships don't? Why or why not?
I think that friendships with the opposite sex help you to really understand them. Because it's not really normal to have friends that are the opposite sex, society seems to be saying that men and women always have trouble understanding eachother. From my own experience, I don't think that's true. I think that if you really listen to and try to understand the opposite sex, you can eventually develop a deeper understanding of them. This doesn't mean you will relate to them or identify with them necessarily, but you can kind of get an idea of what they're thinking and feeling if you spend time with them.
Plus, from a guy's perspective, I think it gives you a chance to develop your relationship skills with girls. You learn what to say, what not to say, and generally how to act around the girl you're dating. I think it also gives you more respect for girls as people, and not just sex objects.
Do you find it harder, as a guy, to be friends with other men more than most?
Yes, in a way. I share few interests with most of the men I know. However, they appreciate the fact that I'm good with conversations and that I'll listen to what they have to say without criticizing.
Most of the guys I know have a hard time taking things seriously around other guys, so it can be refreshing for them to ba able to talk about something meaningful without all the back and forth. Because of this, I don't really spend much time with men socially, but I do have long term friendships with a few.
The conversation style girls generally use is easier for me to deal with. Yes, there's drama sometimes, but I'm willing to put up with it. For me, it's easier than all the hating on eachother and teasing, like TG brought up. It really gets on my nerves after a while.
T
The Jester
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Its so much easier for me to be friends with people of the opposite sex because I'm actually a man on the inside.
Just because I have a vagina doesn't mean I don't like building and blowing up crap, that I don't hate shopping just like any other dude, nor does it mean I don't dislike glitters and enjoy dishing about how stupid girls are and which ones I'd like to see wrestling in chocolate pudding.
Just because I have a vagina doesn't mean I don't like building and blowing up crap, that I don't hate shopping just like any other dude, nor does it mean I don't dislike glitters and enjoy dishing about how stupid girls are and which ones I'd like to see wrestling in chocolate pudding.
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Bored Now
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I used to be good at it, but the lines keep getting blurred. I think it will shift back to normal when and if I have a boyfriend to throw them off. I prefer friendships with men, for the most part. I'm not sure why as I'm not one of those women who has an intense dislike for other women. Maybe a vague disinterest, because I don't care about of the same crap they care about and girls seem less appreciative of my bluntness. i actually am going to seek from here on out to befriend more women.
Skathac
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Had a friend in college that sounded alot like you, she used to work security at Talladega and beat up drunks. Would come into class the next week showing off all her battle scars.
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My only battle scars are from my cats...but they're vicious I swear.
I have female friends but like, I can only be friends with really masculine or submissive, chillax females. I notice that I really don't like my ego/pride to be broken and I don't like to hang around people who try to be more dominant than me, in fact, that just rubs me the wrronnng way. I've threatened to beat several females' heads in because they were just as aggressive as I was and it's like there is an instinct in me to dominant....eat or be eaten...grr!
Skathac
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I hear yah man. All one can really do is try to keep from going insane while the mind works to make sense of all the outside stimuli and internal reactions. Biggest thing is keep being true to you, of course it sounds like that isn't a problem. :tea:
S
Shai Gar
I can be friends with straight women if they know straight out that I want to fuck them. Then our relationship becomes one of constant flirtation, whether or not anything happens.
Same as with gay men really.
However yes, I find it easier to be friends with straight males. I dont want to fuck them, nor they me. Relationships become about personality then.
Same as with gay men really.
However yes, I find it easier to be friends with straight males. I dont want to fuck them, nor they me. Relationships become about personality then.
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//furrows brow
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Yes, men base their friendships on activity while women base theirs on activity plus interpersonal-ness + activity. I really prefer to talk to someone one on one AND usually prefer to have meaningful conversations. Usually, it is easier to find women to relate to. This also means that I don't care as much for the activities that people like to do in groups, both men and women (especially when women decide to watch Disney movies, unless it is a good one).
I actually have more female friends than I do male friends, and my male friends are gay or fairly androgynous. The activities that men usually base their friendships on, in my experience, are sports and video games, which I only like to an extent.
When it comes to relationships with female friends, you often cannot tell whether I like or have liked someone, and I prefer to keep it that way unless I decide to tell them. Often I'll find someone attractive, get to know them, and then not find them attractive anymore. The converse is true: I'll meet a girl who I do not find attractive, get to know her, and suddenly find her attractive (physically, that is). I'm not completely demi-sexual, but a person's personality does alter how physically attractive I find them; although, there are some people who I find attractive or unattractive independent of their personality.
There is no set way that I navigate friendships with the opposite sex or even the same sex. It is too hard for me to describe how I act given the circumstances. I don't become friends with women ever for the sole purpose of getting in their pants or even having a relationship in many cases, but I sometimes become friends with them because I am interested in them.
Any questions?
Betteralone
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I have a hard time being friends with anyone. Haha. Women are usually so cat like, two faced and not trustworthy. They also just don't understand me, and tend to be jealous of me. It is also hard to be friends with men, as I basically believe the cliche that "men and women can't be friends". One person always wants more. At least in my experience. This being said, I am a bit of a loner. :nod: