How do you use extraverted feeling? How do you experience it?

[dragulagu]

I can see what you say, but i internalise this idea and almost force it to become what i think i could be, or i could not.
When i see others being something, or at least i perceive it like it, i feel sad for myself and happy for the others and vice versa.
I said when before because sometimes, almost everytime, maybe never, i feel like the world whitout me wouldn't exist and at the same time a world without others would be worthless.

Ok, i think I understand what you are going for, it's more of a philosophical interpretation of the world. As in, more of an internal mirrored world perception? We had a discussion on this somewhere in the philosophical section.

So there is a part in Tao philosophy that points to this (meaning, all that what exists in the world exists for its own purpose, we are all part of it. The way we perceive it is all subjective):

When people see some things as beautiful,
other things become ugly.
When people see some things as good,
other things become bad.

Being and non-being create each other.
Difficult and easy support each other.
Long and short define each other.
High and low depend on each other.
Before and after follow each other.

Therefore the Master
acts without doing anything
and teaches without saying anything.
Things arise and she lets them come;
things disappear and she lets them go.
She has but doesn't possess,
acts but doesn't expect.
When her work is done, she forgets it.
That is why it lasts forever.

https://www.organism.earth/library/document/tao-te-ching

 

[John K]

I don't know if the story i am about to tell is Fe using, but i'll do it:
Recently i passed through a very deep depressive state, one that i have never experienced, or that i wasn't aware of.
Every day seemed dark and bright as it ever is but it had something strange, something that didn't allow me to look at and to life, to pursue it.
It was like if i felt only sad, but i knew i wasn't.
One day i decided not to speak anymore to anyone, i decided to cry all day and to say every single thought i had in that moment (even the "darkest") and acted like a creazy man; of course my mother didn't take that very well, she was angry, mad but also very sad, for herself (having born and raised a nonsense) and for me, so she more or less collapsed, by that time i wasn't sad, o felt nothing, nothong at all, I knew i had some emotions and being aware of them made me able to manipulate them, but i did nothing, i left my responsibilities to the hands of other people: my brother and my father.
After that day i continued to stay that way for quite a time. Every day was sad, i was fullh aware of how others felt so, finally i deafeted my "social" stubbornness and I tried to change things for not letting the people around me feel sad and angry.
From this i think i am stupid, i always think so, i think i am worthless and unable to do or to be nothing, i'd say i am only able to do bad things, to be a monster. I search for hope, but i can't find it, i can only feel it, sense it, be aware of its presence.

Let me add my voice to @dragulagu 's - you are most definitely worth a hell of a lot.

There are several things going on in what you said

You were experiencing depression, and that has totally coloured everything else. All our feelings and thoughts are distorted when we suffer from deep depression or anxiety. It's quite likely that we would start to use functions that we don't normally use when we are disturbed like that.

The sadness you were filled with was an emotion and not Fe. On the other hand the way you decided to express your hurt by crying and just saying everything as it occurred to you - that sounds like Fe to me, because you were choosing and communicating with it. You were also concerned about the effect your behaviour was having on other people's feelings and you moderated it as a result - that was Fe. These weren't examples of Fe that was in good control though. There seems to be plenty of Fi in there too, of a destructive sort - the way you condemn yourself - and on a grand scale rather than just on specifics. That sounds like shadow Fi to me.

You don't give any direct evidence, but behind all this is a sense of something dark within you that you are experiencing as a whole and trying to make sense of, trying to communicate, and you are hungry for comfort. That sounds like intuition, but through a distorting lens.
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Is this a one-off or do you feel like this a lot? If it happens quite a bit please do get some help from your doctor, because depression is an awful burden and there are things that can be done to make life easier. It isn't something that can be fixed using MBTI, though you'll find great sympathy here in the forum.

Underneath it all, I think it's very possible that you have intuition and feeling as your favoured functions. I think that if you can break free of your inner problems, your experience of them will give you very great empathy for others with simlar difficulties - as long as you learn how to make yourself safe within your own inner boundaries.