How would you teach love?

Dragon said:
Romantic love or self compassion?
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Love for our fellow humankind and all associated with us, to include respecting the rights of others. I do think the love of self is an important integral part of the sphere of things to be included.
 
just me said:
Love for our fellow humankind and all associated with us, to include respecting the rights of others. I do think the love of self is an important integral part of the sphere of things to be included.
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Well, what causes hate?
 
Well, what causes hate?
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interesting question and i wont pretend to know the answer but i always liked alan watts coincidence of opposites theory. it states that opposites such as love and hate are fundamentally the same and without one the other would not exist. this is best described through examples so ill use his.

if i were to say to you i have an apple in my left hand and i have nothing in my right hand what im fundamentally referring to is the seemingly polar opposites of two seperate events, one being form or the apple the other space or nothing. yet alan suggests we are witnessing the phenomenon of the the same experience in both hands. the reason is we are not merely seeing the apple by itself, we are seeing the apple and also the space around it. in this way the two are inseperable, we wouldnt have an object without space (everything would therefore be solid or in this case, apple) and no space if we didnt have objects to differentiate it, everything would simply be space. together these two seemingly opposite possibilities are part of the same experience.

another example would be a bee and a flower. we see normally see them as two seperate organisms but as we are finding out without the bee there is no flower and no flower without the bee to pollinate it. unless of course us humans do it as ive heard is going on in china but regardless its a necessary role played by a bee that allows the whole of a greater system to continue. death allows life, you allows me, and everything in between.

so in this way we could suggest hate and love are fundamentally the same through being opposites, without the differentiation between the two, neither would exist.
 
If you can overlook such things you have a good heart. Reminds me of an old saying, "If you're scared, say you're scared."
 
I think its something that's innate in sentient creatures, as are its antithesis's. I don't think it can really be taught but it can be nurtured and grown.
 
What has worked for me are the teachings of Lao Tzu. "Demand nothing. Give all." So simple, yet so hard to do. Just to give everything you can without any expectation of a return on your investment. Also the Love Dare has more specific steps, like, "Love does not demand it's own way. It lets the other win."
 
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I have to say the biggest inspiration for me to learn how to selflessly love another being was my best friend, an INTJ. He has shown me more kindness, tolerance, patience, and understanding than any human I've ever known... and for an INFJ outcast, that is BIG. I got into studying personality types just so I could understand him, forgive him, compromise with him, accommodate him, support him, and LOVE him. He is the first person who was ever gentle, sensitive, and interested enough in/with me to really unlock the best version of myself. We are NEVER unkind to one another. No arguments. Honesty. Directness. Even if I lash out in a snarky way when he unintentionally hurts me, he has never snapped back. He will apologize without even knowing the exact root of my pain. If something is too painful for me to verbalize, he doesn't force me to talk about it. He is never forceful... about anything... and he always says PLEASE, thank you, and a million other verbal/written affirmations. I have never felt so valued, appreciated or interesting. He challenges me. It is work not getting my feelings crushed & taking offense to certain insensitivities, but he's worth the effort. He's growing me into a better human. I have learned to trust. :)
 
You teach love by loving first. It's a chain reaction, but somebody's gotta take the first step to ignite it.

Love first, and then ask those you loved to "pay it forward":

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JvbgetKzrmA"]YouTube - Pay it Forward - The Power of Three[/ame]
 
My best friend e-mailed me this:

Love is still wanting to hold someone after you climax. After the initial euphoria from the orgasm wears off, you’re replaced with a sense of calm rather than a panic. You don’t want to search for your clothes, scramble to find your keys and figure out the best way to tell them, “See ya later forever!” You’re fine with chilling out in bed with the person and maybe ordering pad thai later.
Love is unattractive. It can expose our worst traits: Jealousy, irrational fears, heated anger; the gang’s all here! While it can bring out compassion and tenderness, it can also make you behave like the ugliest version of yourself. That can be okay for a little while, but love with real longevity should be like a xanax rather than an adderall.
Love is not afraid to be schmaltzy. There’s a reason why the most popular love songs are so lyrically simple. You can drown it in metaphors all you want but love usually boils down to, “You make me so happy. I want to hold your hand. I just want u 2 be mine 4ever!” You can be a 50-year-old linguistics professor at Columbia University and still find something to relate to in a Mariah Carey ballad if you’re in love because the feelings are so universal. It’s humbling, isn’t it? No matter who you are or what your background is, love can reduce you to Mariah Carey mush.
Love is an all-consuming drug. It gives us these natural highs we’ve only read about in books or heard in songs. It’s addictive. It’s what keeps us going to bars, drinking glasses of wine, going to that stupid house party in Bushwick; it’s all for the possibility of finding love. In the wrong hands, love can be dangerous and scary. If someone lacks a healthy foundation, love can kill. All of these crimes you read about in the newspapers are usually linked to passionate love. “I did it because I loved them just…too much.”
Love is not what our parents had. In high school, you never wanted to think about your mother and father having once slept with people in the backseat of cars and feeling warm and happy. That would make it feel less special and young. It would make love have less to do with you when, EXCUSE ME, it has EVERYTHING to do with you.
Love is getting drunk with your significant other at a party and taking a cab home with your bodies intertwined. You feel safest in these moments, the most secure. Entering a social gathering with someone who loves you is the biggest security blanket. People leave the party as a parade of droopy expressions and sad cocktail dresses. But not you. “Sorry guys, I’m in love! I’m taking a car!”
Love is fucking stupid. Love is fucking smart. Love is about betraying yourself, of compromising your ideals for someone else’s approval. That’s actually the bad kind of love, but I guess it all blurs together when you’re young or when you’re old or when you don’t love yourself.
Love is your significant other telling you about their favorite album and then making a point to fall in love with it on your own. Love is wondering why your better half loves certain things. You think you can find remnants of them in their favorite films, books and songs, but you usually can’t.
Love is finding yourself feeling protective over someone else’s well-being Love is being incensed with rage when someone or something has done your lover wrong.
Love is wanting your partner to cum. And if they can’t, just say, “That’s okay. I’m enjoying this.” It might be bullshit, but they’ll be orgasming in the next five minutes. Trust me.
Love isn’t always marriage. Marriage is spending $60,000 so everyone can know that someone loves you. You know what’s certainly not love? Debt. In some cases, love can be divorce.
Love is a back massage, a mindfuck, a hard cock, a pair of perfect breasts, of feeling unashamed about the cellulite on your body. Love is someone giving a shit about you enough to argue. Love is not passive. Love is “Don’t fucking touch me right now.” Love is “Who the FUCK were you talking to?” Love is sometimes hating yourself for a second. Love is hate. Period. Indifference is the real killer of love and the true antithesis.
When love leaves you, you should be lying on your bathroom floor with no resolve. You’re smoking cigarettes in the bathtub and crying about everything bad that’s ever happened.
Love is someone seeing the beauty in you and wanting to bask in it every day all day. Love is not guaranteed. We are not owed love. That’s why when we get it, we know how lucky we are and hold on to it for dear life.
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I LOVE how this is stated.
 
Odyne said:
You teach love by loving first. It's a chain reaction, but somebody's gotta take the first step to ignite it.
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[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIdNdMM6xyk"]YouTube - Cloud Cult - Chain Reaction[/ame]

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[MENTION=2873]Serenity[/MENTION] Thanks a lot, chica, I totally bawled through those last 2 lines! UGH!
 
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