Mentioning this would make me look like a bufoon. I have already been called delusional by a low level psychologist-intern. I am not going there again.
Yeah, she was wrong of course. But she works for my psychiatrist. I asked her to tell me what she was going back there to report. She said some mushy BS crap, like "We would never judge you, or say anything was wrong with you, we just want to figure out ways to help you get better and self improvement ideas and all that..."
I have no clue why they are doing this, but no, I cannot relate this to family. I have independence now. If I told my mom she would immediately have an ambulance pick me up and lock me up in a ward and she would demand me to come back to florida. i am not going to have a limited life, stuck behind the prison walls of that house. i am NOT a child anymore. my friends? i dont know if i can call them friends. i cant trust anyone. they are not able to be confided in. i have to bear this message alone.
there is nothing bad about it. i am a "schizoid". i dont need to confide in people...i just need to know i am believed. knowing now, i will not be believed, because of peoples preconceived notions about me. yeah, my family is in florida. they have alot of parties and fun. i am locked here, in college, ridiculed and possibly to be strapped down in a ward. i am trying to avoid that but it is getting hard. i feel like i want to run away..You're completely by yourself?
I had a tough time too. I struggled with clinical depression and anxiety for nearly all my university career. Sometimes people didn't understand or didn't want to understand.
oh no; they want to because they saw what i did to my left arm. i just tell them i was going through a tough time, and they let it go-i THINK. they keep talking about SI, even though I TELL them i quit doing that. they think i am unstable. i think they just want to put me in there because someone overhead has connections with the gov (or whoever is tracking me)Still, I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time in college.
I don't understand. Why would they want to put you in a ward? For being "schizoid?"
If you can't control yourself during these energy episodes, wouldn't it be safer not to have anything you can self inflict with (or at the very least not have a knife in your possession)? If it isn't your fault and you can't control yourself, IMO, the best thing to do would be get rid of everything you know you can use to self inflict. Don't hide it, throw it away.
