INFJ stereotypes or misunderstandings . . .

[Gaze]

I was just following the general flow of the non-conversation everyone was having. If being clairvoyant is a misunderstanding about the INFJ persona, I just wanted to discus it in more detail.

Please feel free to post your thoughts on this. The discussion is open.

 

[AUM]

I agree that maybe it's too easy to assign exclusively positive traits to the INFJ personality.

But sometimes i think being nice can be a bit overrated. Sometimes, people use niceness to take advantage of someone, which oftens makes some become quite defensive, and later on very difficult to be around, which may be the reason why they are irritable and harsh.

I think the appearance of niceness tends to get people very far. If i were to be honest the way i'd like (not intending to be mean) but attempting to be real, it would not be perceived very well, even though i may be right.

But if you're very nice and accommodating, people tend to think more positively of your personality. On the other hand, they may think you're weak or understimate you. So, it's a catch 22.

Yeah, I've been witness of this. I had to turn down the notch of how I came across to others. I'm seen as too nice quite often, and to make matters worse, I was dumped once because of that same reason. "Wtf?" was all I could say lol. I learned my lesson though

 

[Billy]

INFJs are not fucking psychic... jesus...

what we do is really a simple trick, we remember shit, LOTS of shit about people, everyone, especially those we think about a lot. We figure them out, figure out what drives them based on what they do and what they say they want, and we garner data and facts about them, good enough to model the persons personality inside of our head (some form of Ti +Fe I guess) and we can come up with good GUESSES as to what said person would say or react like to specific instances.

Thats really all it is...

the "knowing" part of us being "psychic" is just a lot of hard mental work which is perfect for us because we over think naturally.

All that hard mental work can usually do is come up with a good guess which happens to be right often. Often enough that its a "phenomenon"

But what annoys me is when people say its psychic, as though we are somehow reading the persons thoughts, this is NOT true. We can use sub textual clues even on strangers to make good guesses. But there is no mind reading. That's absurd.

 

[Billy]

One misunderstanding I think people have of INFJs is that somehow theyre all benevolent.

I think our nature leads us towards a desire to be a type of "hero" not so much an antihero, but antihero works sometimes if it gets the job done, but we yearn to be superman over batman.

But I also find our nature parasitical. INFJs tend to require people to feel things deeply or meaningfully, we will go through great almost robotic trials to make people feel at ease and like us, but its not because we are benevolent. Typically I have seen INFJs act a lot like emotional vampires. myself included. The problem I have with that isnt so much in what it does, I think what we tend to give to be much bigger then what we receive. That's our nature, take up less resources and make ourselves useful. We want to belong.

I see a lot of INFJs use that kind of mentality though for nefarious purposes as well, especially when it comes to dealing with intimate relationships. I have seen INFJ ride in on a white horse in shining armor only to reveal later much much later that it was actually a troll in disguise, or an ogre, come to consume some poor soul.

In that regard INFJs I think can be the most damaging and dangerous of all types, because of the depths we delve to in our methods. Imagine the un-fixable damage some of us have caused in our ignorance with that level of focus and attention we give.

 

[Bird]

INFJs are not fucking psychic... jesus...

what we do is really a simple trick, we remember shit, LOTS of shit about people, everyone, especially those we think about a lot. We figure them out, figure out what drives them based on what they do and what they say they want, and we garner data and facts about them, good enough to model the persons personality inside of our head (some form of Ti +Fe I guess) and we can come up with good GUESSES as to what said person would say or react like to specific instances.

Thats really all it is...

the "knowing" part of us being "psychic" is just a lot of hard mental work which is perfect for us because we over think naturally.

All that hard mental work can usually do is come up with a good guess which happens to be right often. Often enough that its a "phenomenon"

But what annoys me is when people say its psychic, as though we are somehow reading the persons thoughts, this is NOT true. We can use sub textual clues even on strangers to make good guesses. But there is no mind reading. That's absurd.

I would agree with this to an extent.
Without having met people, if I can see a photo of them, a candid photo, mind you, not one that has been posed, I can generally pinpoint the exact kind of person they are.
I like to do this with my friends' fathers.
Mostly because it's really creepy.

 

[sassafras]

In that regard INFJs I think can be the most damaging and dangerous of all types, because of the depths we delve to in our methods. Imagine the un-fixable damage some of us have caused in our ignorance with that level of focus and attention we give.

Any type, with the right motivation, can be downright damaging and dangerous. But that's when, according to theory, we start channeling our shadows. What you described sounds a lot like some morbid fusion of an ENFP... a type that has completely opposing functions to that of an INFJ.

 

[Billy]

Any type, with the right motivation, can be downright damaging and dangerous. But that's when, according to theory, we start channeling our shadows. What you described sounds a lot like some morbid fusion of an ENFP... a type that has completely opposing functions to that of an INFJ.

ENFPs dont have the drive to do the kind of damage an INFJ could if it really wanted to, hell even if it didnt mean to. And I dont think that just because we are hurting someone we are in our shadow, not always.

I dont understand how people can think INFJs are truly benevolent, its just not an accurate portrayal.

 

[Bird]

ENFPs dont have the drive to do the kind of damage an INFJ could if it really wanted to, hell even if it didnt mean to. And I dont think that just because we are hurting someone we are in our shadow, not always.

I dont understand how people can think INFJs are truly benevolent, its just not an accurate portrayal.

I like to toy with people. I stop before anyone gets truly hurt.
But I do enjoy toying with people, usually because I feel they deserve it in some way, but no matter the reason, I still like to create situations where one is "stuck between a hard rock and a wall" (I believe that's the phrase) where I'm not blamable for the hurt but I still helped cause it ultimately.

 

[sassafras]

ENFPs dont have the drive to do the kind of damage an INFJ could if it really wanted to, hell even if it didnt mean to. And I dont think that just because we are hurting someone we are in our shadow, not always.

Uhhhh.... XNFPs in general are known for taking vengeance (sometimes for imaginary slights). I say that's plenty of drive.

I don't think you're going to get anywhere trying to decide, by function order, which type is more 'dangerous' or which one can do the most damage. It's all relative-- situation based, individual based.

But I agree that we don't necessarily have be dipping into our shadow in order to intentionally hurt anybody... although generally, if you're in that sort of mindset, it's likely that you've been upset enough to go into shadow-mode.

 

[NeverAmI]

Everyone acts like hurting someone else is something hard to do...

I would say being kind is the hardest. Causing pain is so universally easy it isn't even funny...

 

[Billy]

Everyone acts like hurting someone else is something hard to do...

I would say being kind is the hardest. Causing pain is so universally easy it isn't even funny...

The cruelest actions stem from sincerity and kindness typically. Or utilize them. Bird I know what you mean, I also toy with people in general. Sometimes I go a little too far though.

 

[Bird]

Everyone acts like hurting someone else is something hard to do...

I would say being kind is the hardest. Causing pain is so universally easy it isn't even funny...

I agree.


However when it comes to physically harming someone, I find that much more difficult than being kind.

 

[NeverAmI]

However when it comes to physically harming someone, I find that much more difficult than being kind.

Yea that's true, I would have a hard time physically harming someone.

 

[Billy]

Uhhhh.... XNFPs in general are known for taking vengeance (sometimes for imaginary slights). I say that's plenty of drive.

I don't think you're going to get anywhere trying to decide, by function order, which type is more 'dangerous' or which one can do the most damage. It's all relative-- situation based, individual based.

But I agree that we don't necessarily have be dipping into our shadow in order to intentionally hurt anybody... although generally, if you're in that sort of mindset, it's likely that you've been upset enough to go into shadow-mode.

I am not really trying to decide anything by function order. I simply think that the INFJ way of doing things, when misused can be more emotionally destructive to people then most other types are able to give.

All that awareness, all that connection making, remembering all those details, knowing what you can do and can get away with etc and seeing it internally. INFJs have the raw capability when they want to hurt, to hurt really really badly. Whereas an ESTP might punch you in the face and probably hurt you badly physically, an INFJ wounds emotionally.

My favorite is when we do it, and then I see some of us claim moral superiority for it, and justify it.

INFJs and their justifications

 

[Odyne]

Yeah, but do they actually end up doing any harm? I know for sure that INFJs daydream of avenging themselves when hurt, and they feel it strongly, but does it ever happen that they take vengeance? I doubt it.

They might stop talking to the people they were hurt by, or cut ties. But I don't think that INFJ would go as far as carrying out a payback plan, or hurting other people. Unless they have a strong and a venomous Fe, that they can manipulate people with.

When taken advantage of for too long and when angry at the world, an INFJ can turn sour.

A healthy INFJ is benevolent by nature and would not want to hurt others not emotionally nor physically.

I have a hard time imagining an INFJ wanting to hurt someone for the reason "just because.."

 

[Gaze]

They might stop talking to the people they were hurt by, or cut ties. But I don't think that INFJ would go as far as carrying out a payback plan, or hurting other people. Unless they have a strong and a venomous Fe, that they can manipulate people with.

When taken advantage of for too long and when angry at the world, an INFJ can turn sour.

I find this is true for me.

 

[Bird]

Yeah, but do they actually end up doing any harm? I know for sure that INFJs daydream of avenging themselves when hurt, and they feel it strongly, but does it ever happen that they take vengeance? I doubt it.

They might stop talking to the people they were hurt by, or cut ties. But I don't think that INFJ would go as far as carrying out a payback plan, or hurting other people. Unless they have a strong and a venomous Fe, that they can manipulate people with.

When taken advantage of for too long and when angry at the world, an INFJ can turn sour.

A healthy INFJ is benevolent by nature and would not want to hurt others not emotionally nor physically.

I have a hard time imagining an INFJ wanting to hurt someone for the reason "just because.."

I'm unhealthy, apparently.

 

[Billy]

Don't let them fool you, no one is healthy. My opinion is that the majority of the human species is only functionally insane. A lot of people are attracted to the title of INFJ because of the crapola they read in the profiles, but I am unconvinced that INFJs are truly heroic, they can be, dont get me wrong they so can be... but most are human, and most use that image of holiness to attract people that they then consume in some fashion.

 

[Gaze]

Don't let them fool you, no one is healthy. My opinion is that the majority of the human species is only functionally insane. A lot of people are attracted to the title of INFJ because of the crapola they read in the profiles, but I am unconvinced that INFJs are truly heroic, they can be, dont get me wrong they so can be... but most are human, and most use that image of holiness to attract people that they then consume in some fashion.

It's natural for people to want to portray themselves in a positive light. But i'm not sure the problem of wanting to be heroic is the type. I think today, people are expected to project overly positive and overly confident images of themselves in order to be seen as desirable. So, we tend to fit ourselves in that mold.

 

[DefectiveCreative]

A healthy INFJ is benevolent by nature and would not want to hurt others not emotionally nor physically.

I'd say that's true for a healthy anybody.

My opinion is that the majority of the human species is only functionally insane.

I like to use the term "unsane".