INFJ, The Manipulator?

Apparently, the INTJ forum thinks we're a manipulative bunch.

I never really considered myself manipulative. I thought about it, and I can see how someone might consider me manipulative because I display my emotions and people respond, but I don't do it intentionally and don't expect people to respond.

I suppose I have the potential to be manipulative, but everyone has that potential, so it doesn't say much.
 
I've only been told that by people who are really angry with me, but I'm never aware of doing it.
I could manipulate really well if I wanted to (and very occasionally am forced to) because I just pick up very quickly on what people like and don't like in people. No idea why, I must just pay attention O-o
 
We don't manipulate INTJs. They are smitten by our charm and wit. That's totally different.
 
Heh heh, actually I have fun messing with INTJs. Gotta love 'em!

(I sound evil D: )
 
laurie said:
Heh heh, actually I have fun messing with INTJs. Gotta love 'em!

(I sound evil D: )
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Relish it :D It's fun to have an edgy side!

'Sides, they like it
 
Heehee >=D I wonder if INFJs sometimes just manipulate certain people because it's fun? ^^
 
I just...I dunno. Maybe it's because I'm older or that I've always had a really strong dislike to it, but I really don't/can't/won't manipulate people into doing something for me. The idea of it grates against me so much that I feel positively dirty or ill if I try it. Have I done it before? Probably. I think everyone has manipulated someone to do something in their lives. But can I make it a habit? No. Not at all. It just seems so WRONG to me, fundamentally wrong. Like I know what the individual is thinking and I know what it would take to tweak the situation, but I just don't do it. I hate forcing people into that corner and if I have done it's been in an emergency.

*Shudders.* It's distasteful to me.
 
I'll admit I've manipulated others in the past but usually its somthing harmless like what time we go to the movies or somthing like that.
 
I've never been told I'm manipulative but I suppose thats because I'm usually very subtle. It's like I can see everyone as a separate emotional puzzle. I know what makes them tick, I know what motivates them and even if I don't it doesn't take me long to figure out. It's like I naturally make the connections between person, action and outcome. Saying that though, I never manipulate with a malicious intent. Do I manipulate to get what I want? Hmmm... yeah... since what I want is to benefit others around me. If I see something wrong I will work to make it right. If someone attacks me personally I will manipulate them into seeing me as less of a target and same goes if someone maliciously targets someone else.

Manipulation is something I take very seriously since it can be such an unfair advantage but I am a person who shows affection through playful teasing and manipulation is just one of my ways of playfully setting people up. :D :D :D
For e.g. I manipulate people into believing what they necessarily wouldn't, hehehe. Then they go tell somebody "did you know (insert fact here)" and recieve weird looks or, are so convinced what I told them is true that they'll seriously argue the case. :D We all have fun in the end though, just to clarify. I only do this to people who go out of their way to make a fool out of themselves anyway and somehow delight in the notion of embarrassment.
 
Ortorin said:
Now I don't know if this is just me or not, so I'm asking you.

I have been told by some that I am a manipulator. I can see how people feel about things down almost to their core, and with this knowledge, I instictivly act in a way to get the reaction I want out of people.

I am a very big people watcher, allways learning the habit and feeling of people around me; how they react to diffrent situations and ideas, and the ilk. It seems that this just naturaly set me up to manipulate them into do, or feeling the way I want them to, even though that isn't how I view what I do.

Does anyone else feel like this is like them, or has been told this by others?
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Same here.
And sometimes I can tell that some of them are kind of being forced to act in some way in my favour even I have not asked for it or even intended.

But I can just sense it, it's like I have set up a game too big for them to escape, and now they can only play by the implicit rules.

I never meant to do it, but that's the outcome anyway.
I just want to have a good time with the people I know, I have no idea why it would end up like this for some.
 
laurie said:
Heehee >=D I wonder if INFJs sometimes just manipulate certain people because it's fun? ^^
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Oh, that's not manipulation...that's teasing and playful banter. There's a difference. :D
 
Ortorin said:
Now I don't know if this is just me or not, so I'm asking you.

I have been told by some that I am a manipulator. I can see how people feel about things down almost to their core, and with this knowledge, I instictivly act in a way to get the reaction I want out of people.

I am a very big people watcher, allways learning the habit and feeling of people around me; how they react to diffrent situations and ideas, and the ilk. It seems that this just naturaly set me up to manipulate them into do, or feeling the way I want them to, even though that isn't how I view what I do.

Does anyone else feel like this is like them, or has been told this by others?
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It depends. Not all INFJs are very manipulative, and some of them really aren't.
But yhere is a breed of INFJs that are extremely manipulative, cunning and crafty.
 
I am patiently awaiting [MENTION=1340]Ortorin[/MENTION] 's reply.
 
As I have grown to accept there is evil in the world I have developed a skill at manipulating people I don't like for the time period I have to deal with them. This is probably a survival tactic more than anything else developed through having to work with difficult and dangerous people. My preferred state is to only bother with people I like, which is a very low number. I am pretty good at manipulating. For example, I can drive my manager crazy because I will tell her to her face what I think of her but it is so subtle and tactful that she could never claim I am being rude. If I don't do this my life would be terrible at work because she has no soul.

Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire - but subtly.

Mostly, I don't care about such things and don't lay in bed plotting. It's a reaction which minimises damage. The words just come and I see things through.

I am manipulative with men who I understand are potentially harmless but have a leaning to be dominant. I can make them do what I want really easily. I can also strategically flirt to get what I want, which is usually peace and quiet. I think it is better to meet attractions head on, that way things can be turned down if necessary. Following societies hidden rules to not flirt can get a girl in trouble. I have been preyed on before in younger days and now know better.

So, yes, I can be very manipulative but really it is a means to keep people at a comfortable distance so they cannot influence my life negatively. I don't do it to have power over others. I have no interest in that.

I am not sure there is another way to manage potentially bad people.
 
Aristotle said that the reason why men can not become virtuous, and why the "light of reason" is shut down and can not judge how to take the correct actions, its because of the cunningness or "clevernes" of their intentions.
In other words, the "shorcuts" of moral decisions, the little daily tricks, manipulation tactics, "innocent" strategies for winning in certain situations, hinder the "eyez of reason" to see the principles of just actions, and thus the "clever" oerson, althought able to get what he wants, never will be able to grow in a virtuous way.
 
LucyJr said:
Aristotle said that the reason why men can not become virtuous, and why the "light of reason" is shut down and can not judge how to take the correct actions, its because of the cunningness or "clevernes" of their intentions.In other words, the "shorcuts" of moral decisions, the little daily tricks, manipulation tactics, "innocent" strategies for winning in certain situations, hinder the "eyez of reason" to see the principles of just actions, and thus the "clever" oerson, althought able to get what he wants, never will be able to grow in a virtuous way.
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Well, King Solomon, with his gift of wisdom hath saidth in Ecclesiastes, that a man who is wise in it's own eyes is nothing but a foolish than a fool.
 
I am so not manipulative. I care about people and respect them too much as fellow human beings to try to manipulate them. I really do try to treat people as I would like to be treated no matter who they are. I have however learned to protect myself from manipulators.
 
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