INFJs - what makes you cry?

Do you cry?

  • Total voters
    72
It makes me cry when people think I am a cold person or take me for being something that I'm not.
we infjs may seem a bit harsh on the outside but we are probably some of the biggest softies out there, so be nice.
HOLY CRAP DRAGON THAT I MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE QUOTE EVER EVER EVER
and it takes a lot to make me freak out like that, consider yourself special.
 
getting in trouble always used to make me cry---it still does a lot of the time.
 
midnightmelody said:
It makes me cry when people think I am a cold person or take me for being something that I'm not.
we infjs may seem a bit harsh on the outside but we are probably some of the biggest softies out there, so be nice.
HOLY CRAP DRAGON THAT I MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE QUOTE EVER EVER EVER
and it takes a lot to make me freak out like that, consider yourself special.
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It is a really great quote. It must suck being perceived as cold as a female more than as a male, or I imagine it would. Males can get away with it more I think, but what it does to me is it makes me envy females for the freedom of expression they are permitted.

midnightmelody said:
getting in trouble always used to make me cry---it still does a lot of the time.
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Me too- which is why I don't get in trouble anymore. I avoid doing almost anythign that could possibly offend someone. I think that being really sensitive to this kind of stuff is what leads to becoming withdrawn.
 
Yes. One of my friends that I try to help (she's rather intense, so I can't always get through to her which is very frustrating)
and I were sort of arguing. I told her that even though she thinks she is a bad person, I don't think it is so. I know she has a conniving side and she likes to wear masks but I don't necessarily think she evil. I think it's safe to say here, that my perception is very strong and I don't think she is as evil as she thinks she. Long story short she called me a liar. I've been called lots of things...but a liar?? It's just so unlike me. i get no pleasure in lying. It does absolutely no good. Now I'm not going to cry over this, but I'm going to be rather unsettled about it and take it personally. of course.

and yes, I go to an all girls school....I have friends, yes, but my dry sense of humour and exterior is often misinterpreted. I think it is probably worse to be a girl in that sense. That's why more ppl should buck up and get to know infj girls. We are saviors to our dear friends.
 
Being invisible to people makes me sad, you know when you sit back because you're thinking/observing/tired then try to join in a conversation and can't really get back into it ^^"
Being told off makes me cry too. I've almost never been told off in my life and some of those times were because of being blamed for stuff other people did D:
 
Ketsugi said:
In one word: Everything.

LOL
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yep any conflict for me be it on the other part of the world as simple as indecent assualt a hit and run or a war ill get upset
i find tht by losing arguments deliberatly and losing in general stops other from being hurt by taking it on myself but tht leads me to crying as it bottles up, and is unhealthy to do so
 
I cry more than I'd like to admit, at all sorts of things, related to me or not.
I highly dislike crying in front of others, too.
 
Just about anything makes me cry. Sometimes I cry for no reason. Just because I'm tired or happy or the light in the sky looks so beautiful. It's never really been a problem for me. I mean, being sensitive has been a (sometimes huge) problem but the crying itself is just part of the whole package.

I find crying kind of cool for some reason. To me it shows you're not afraid of your emotions, of what's happening inside of you. It shows you're able to listen to yourself without shame. I'm thinking of guys particularly, with all the implicit social rules about not crying. To me being able to cry can be a form of strenght, in a way.
 
Lately I cry a lot! I'm in a marriage with 4 kids and in love with a man who isn't my husband. I feel empty when I'm away from the lover. But the GUILT won't let me leave husband of 17 years. Every where I turn is guilt and I can't be happy.

People tell you you'll destroy the kids. They'll be damaged forever. The husband wants everything to be okay and will do anything to keep me but I don't love him. I hate his touch, how he kisses me and so on. Why couldn't he just be a wife beater? or a drunk? Or something to make it easier? But no, he has to be a GOOD man and GOOD father, just a very lousy husband. (The past 17 years have been the loneliest in my entire life)

The lover is a developer who's fallen on rough times and appears to be penniless. The husband has a good paying job that provides well for the children.

So if I stay with the husband for money I judge myself for being shallow. If I leave the husband for the developer, I judge myself for being selfish and I worry that I'll be poor forever. And shouldn't I stay with the husband just to keep the kids happy? And what if the developer only wants me for my money?

I feel everyone's feelings... the kids, the husband, the lover. And I analyze everything. Consequently I'm stuck on the fence in analysis paralysis just making it worse for everyone.

Intense emotional seasons - that'll keep me crying nonstop.
 
If he's a good man and father, why do you want to leave? This is my own personal view, but when you got married you made a promise to him. If he's not mean to you, then why leave? Romance leaves relationships after time. You have to find a way to make spice and romance again or just be friends. That's the reality of relationships. It would happen over time with the new guy, too. You've got the "grass in greener" syndrome.
 
Ketsugi said:
If he's a good man and father, why do you want to leave? This is my own personal view, but when you got married you made a promise to him. If he's not mean to you, then why leave? Romance leaves relationships after time. You have to find a way to make spice and romance again or just be friends. That's the reality of relationships. It would happen over time with the new guy, too. You've got the "grass in greener" syndrome.
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Perhaps you are right... hence my turmoil. He IS a good man and father. He's an INTJ (not that that's a crime or anything!) and everything about him is buried deep within. His feelings, thoughts, emotions. It's like being married to a brick wall and it's very lonely. It's not about romance leaving, there never was any.

Any time there is conflict he approaches it in a dry, logical way cutting me apart in the process. Being me = feeling. Being him = logic.

He's never affectionate. Since our honeymoon, the sex was once a month. He'd only approach me in the dark with no words spoken. I was devastated, but you know, I had made a promise.

So in February this ENFP comes on to me - I mean comes after me like there's no tomorrow and after not being paid any attention to for 17 years... it was hard to resist. (I did resist for about a month though)

With my husband I have always felt plain and boring, that's how he's always treated me and that's what I have believed about myself. "I am the plain one". With the ENFP I feel beautiful. It's nice to feel that way.

But there are kids involved and their psyches. And there is the fact that the ENFP isn't well funded right now and can't support me and the children.

I see no way to win in this situation.
 
Transition said:
Perhaps you are right... hence my turmoil. He IS a good man and father. He's an INTJ (not that that's a crime or anything!) and everything about him is buried deep within. His feelings, thoughts, emotions. It's like being married to a brick wall and it's very lonely. It's not about romance leaving, there never was any.

Any time there is conflict he approaches it in a dry, logical way cutting me apart in the process. Being me = feeling. Being him = logic.

He's never affectionate. Since our honeymoon, the sex was once a month. He'd only approach me in the dark with no words spoken. I was devastated, but you know, I had made a promise.

So in February this ENFP comes on to me - I mean comes after me like there's no tomorrow and after not being paid any attention to for 17 years... it was hard to resist. (I did resist for about a month though)

With my husband I have always felt plain and boring, that's how he's always treated me and that's what I have believed about myself. "I am the plain one". With the ENFP I feel beautiful. It's nice to feel that way.

But there are kids involved and their psyches. And there is the fact that the ENFP isn't well funded right now and can't support me and the children.

I see no way to win in this situation.
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Transition, it's a little late (because it's gone on for so long) but have you considered marriage counseling? Making no decision here is the worst thing you can do because you're living a lie and you're not being authentic to yourself or your family.

Start putting things down on paper: Why did you marry your husband? What prompted you to start a family with him? What was the initial "spark" that put you two together?

Also (and this might be a little graphic, excuse me): Do you or have you expected him to take control of all the lovemaking (your husband), or have you initiated any of it? Maybe the truth is you're both just in a rut, and you need to see if you can change that. You both need to talk about this. You don't need to be running to someone else to fix your problem; you and your husband need to take some time to discuss your marriage, and why it is/isn't working.

An affair can be a relationship killer, and it usually is. But you're going to have to ask yourself what's best because you can't have both. Make a list of pros and cons and really think this through. And come clean with your husband because you owe him that much.
 
Marriage counseling - yes we have considered it. We are trying to set that up. The husband is so willing to try - and we talk. But everything I tell him he takes as a rule. Even with the best of efforts it's all logic. I'm not sure he'll ever connect with his heart, and if he can't find it, how will I ever connect to it?

Here's a typical situation: "So if you go downstairs to be alone, you're really saying you want me to come to talk to you, so every time you go alone I need to go find you."

He's very open to try but approaches everything from a set of rules to follow.

I think I married the guy because he was safe, and I couldn't find a reason not to. He was quiet, he didn't have a temper. He seemed like he would make a good father. At the time something seemed to be missing - but I couldn't quite pinpoint what it was. Looking back I think the missing link was passion and intimacy.

On the lovemaking side - we know what our problem is. We just don't know how to overcome it. I have a tremendous fear of rejection and he has a tremendous fear of failure. Put the two together and you have two partners who never want to initiate anything.

Send an ENFP into the mix who is bold and gregarious and hunted me down no matter how many times I rejected him - ! That boldness was captivating.

I wish I had known to only marry for love, not just safety.
 
I think the other thing is the lack of leadership with my current husband. Desperately wanting someone who will take the lead and protect me, maybe even control me a little. I'm so tired of making all the business and financial decisions - and really, I'm not very good at it!

Hey maybe someone who will even say "That's my woman, quit looking at her!"
 
Wyst said:
If you cry, when, and what makes you cry?

Fighting with someone? :m144:

Frustration at work? :m133:

People pick on you? :m095:

I usually cry when I see a movie that just makes me sad. Someone dies... or the lovers can't get together...

More often then not it's been anime or certain parts in *coughvideogamescough* that make me cry.

Almost forgot - I watch J-drama a lot. THOSE suckers get me blubbering pretty quick.
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I'm crying right now :( I was so close to making the tennis team (I've been playing tennis for many years now) but this girl cheated on me. I'm usually not one to go around saying stuff like this but I'm one hundred percent sure she did, and i was so close! Now it's embarassing to be on JV because of how old I am, I know this is kind of pathetic and I usually never cry over losing but this is a rare exception.

Fighting with someone usually doesn't unless it gets really bad, when I'm really frustrated yes, and it depends on how bad they pick on me.

Oh and sad movies also, especially ones based on a true story. Like Aurore, I was crying so much that the next day when I played tennis I felt dizzy due to the lack of sodium in my body.
 
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I don't really cry.
Even though the course of a shitty relationship and it's end, despite being sad or depressed, I never cried.

There was a certain scene in Memento, though...
 
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