INFP: Myths vs. Realities

The braking point lies within how you two go about arguing, not the arguments themselves.
 
niffer said:
@TheDaringHatTrick

Okay

1) What I wanted to accomplish was what I said, which was to get you to read my theory and think about it, but you now want evidence before that. Sure, that's reasonable--
2) Here are the examples where you are involved that came to my mind:

1. You thinking my Te ass kissing on Tinychat recently was a result of me having inferior Te (which would make me an INFP), since I was being envious about Te's ability to get shit done and me being useless at it
2. Sentientsixpence and all the stuff she told me about the reasons you thought she was INFP which I thought were so-so but mostly Sentient is a very easily asshurt person so...
3. What Sentient told me about how she thought you often reflexively type others as INFP on here when they are in doubt and an asshurt-easily kind of person
4. A few vague shitty memories of mine of miscellaneous comments towards others in their blogs or in Type Me threads.
5. This rule in reversal: When SpecialEdition is actively getting stuff done in an anti-asshurt way, I think it was you in her Type Me thread that said you were thinking she was Fi-Te, with Fi inferior.

edit: I'm sorry I didn't explain it better before slapping your name on out there. Also next time I will directly tell you when I want to contest your opinion on something if it do it. :P I'm sorry. It's pretty much cuz I can't do it right away because I can't piece a good argument together to back anything up.......and again I'll regress to look like an ass kisser whilst being crushed by ur airtight Te >__>
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Niffer, I’m sorry, I have no idea how to puzzle this out, but this seems to be on your mind so I will do my best.

Regarding the named member, that was a private discussion where this person asked for my personal opinion on type and we had an open back and forth discussion about MBTI theory. I don’t know why she felt she could not tell me this herself or why she would relay it to you, nor do I know why you felt the need to air out her opinions right now when this member hasn’t spoken to me in over two years. I’m assuming this is because you feel this is somehow relevant today.

However, since this seems to be a matter of personal opinion dredged up from a personal conversation you had, I think we should take this to PM before we make anyone else uncomfortable. I am not sure what the Te thing or the rest of your list has to do with me allegedly having a single criterion for identifying someone as INFP ( I don't, nor do I think emotional reactiveness is indicative of anything) but I'm open to hearing you out.
Drop me a line.

EDIT: :-)
 
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niffer said:
I feel that the image that many INFPs give to others (unconsciously or not) is that they are people who were hurt in some way, and now they have to be steadfast in their values as a sort of vengeance, or as their version of resilience against the world.

This image we see of INFPs subconsciously makes people feel that the INFP thinks those who aren't as steadfast as them about the INFP's values are personally to blame for their hurt.
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So I totally read that wrong. I thought the second part said "This image we see of INFPs subconsciously makes people feel that the INFP thinks those who aren't as steadfast as them about their values are personally to blame for their own hurt." Meaning that people who don't try to get over their personal problems are hurting themselves. I was wondering why you said 'INFP's values,' I just inserted 'their' o.o

Dunno if I necessarily feel hurt when people disagree with me anymore. I'm a pretty adaptable person *shrug* We just gotta be able to communicate and I'm good. However I'm more than sure I did in the past.
 
Wow
 
This is why these thread never work. There will allways be those who take themselves WAY to seriously.
 
DonTaushMe said:
The myth that we see the best in everyone. For strangers, sure, that might be kinda true. But if I've known someone for a while -like a week- and I have a general idea of their behavior I will usually have a realistic, if not pessimistic, view of their abilities/limitations, or rather have a general idea that they are not good people. This takes longer of course for people who put on masks however I still come to a conclusion and it is rarely good.
At the same time those people who I come to good conclusions about are usually really, really amazing. And maybe, probably, that's because I judge so harshly but I judge them harshly too and somehow they're still great people.

The myth that all we think about is fluffy unicorns and happy things. I think about yelling at people a lot. Telling them what I really think of them. If the general idea of fluffy unicorn thoughts is that they're an INFPs happy thoughts, then yeah ok, kinda. Cause yelling at people really is my happy thought lol >.> There is a lot I hold in and yelling at people can be incredible therapeutic *shrugs* Rarely do it these days, at least to the person. Have since learned how to talk, which meh, I'm sure it's less damaging lol...

The myth that INFPs are weak or wallflowers or whatever. Fuck that noise. I went to a club recently in part because this woman I had been talking to online for years told me she thought of me as a cowardice wallflower, to scared to approach women. First of all, fuck that bitch. She's just not even, whatever *glares*

[. . .]

Just myths in general that we're always nice and unassuming and everything's good and happy. I mean maybe it has to do with me being an 8 enneagram but fuck that. Like I don't see INFPs as weak. I've met one in real life and the only thing I really noticed is that she's incredibly quiet lol. But I call bull shit, like that stereotype is just stupid. It irks me >:|
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Yeah, I don't see the best in everyone either. I think people confuse being nice to everyone as a sign that you don't see negatives in others. I am pretty honest with myself more so now that in the past about who people are, but I may not necessarily let them know it or show it. I think that's what people mistake for seeing the best in everyone. I am quite critical actually, and just like you, often think about telling someone off. :D but I always end up holding back because I don't think it would help anything, so I just withdraw or stay away instead.

I think people expect us to be "nice" so that they don't like it when we are honest. If we are, we get described as being "sensitive" when we express that we don't want or like something.

I do fit the wallflower stereotype somewhat but I realize it's not that INFPs are wallflowers. I think it's more that I am selective about who I engage with. I don't see the point in making friends just to make friends. I don't want to impose myself on any person or situation unless I'm more sure it's wanted. I've had too many experiences of making the first move or initiating, and having it backfire, so I'm selective about who I engage with. I am also more cautious because I used to fall for those people who seemed open and "nice" but weren't the person I believed them to be, and I'd rather not waste energy on relationships that aren't real or genuine. I also don't want to spend my time with someone who is simply interested in having contacts or connections as a means to an end. So, yeah, I'm pretty fine with being a wallflower today, although I hated when I was younger. It works for me now so I own it.

And I'm not sure where this idea of INFPs are always nice and happy comes from. That's never been me. I've always struggled with some sort of anxiety or mood issue, and I'm a serious person. This is one of the reasons, I questioned whether I am an INFP, and sometimes still do. I don't appear "hippie"-ish. I am accommodating and quite generous with those I care about. I am very loyal, but now I am now more careful about to whom I give that kind of loyalty since most people don't appreciate much less deserve it. Hence, why I'm more reserved and quiet. Much more selective about who I interact with. As they say, once bitten twice shy. I'd rather spend time with a good book than a fake and unreliable person.

Another thing about me which I'm not sure is the same for other INFPs is that I don't always let people know how I feel or think because as someone in a professional position, I am more cautious about what I say and the consequences. I can be very diplomatic, and very easily tell people what they want to hear, or sympathize with them but they may not necessarily know how I feel. Since most people are poor listeners anyway, that's fine with me. I'll usually share my opinions with those who will actually listen. Otherwise, I tend to keep most of my views to myself. Most people think they know how I feel but really don't although they are certain they do. :D I always find it funny when people paint INFP traits with such as simplistic stroke, as if the only thing that's there is what people imagine or perceive this person to be based on their supposed "INFP"ness. Seems like people are more focused on reinforcing their biases. But people have a right to their views. :D In any case, interesting observations.
 
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Those who think Fi doms are all bubbles and unicorns definitely never stood at the end of a blazing, overdrive, ready to explode Fi.
 
One of the most toxic things an INFP could do to themselves is get caught in a Fi-Si loop. Where they relive an experience and all feelings surrounding it over and over and over again, especially if it was a negative one for them. I suppose you could also call it wallowing. It stunts personal growth and often leaves them unable to allow themselves to learn from what has occurred and move on.

On a positive note, if you need someone to help you untangle and become aware of your personal feelings, an INFP (healthy) is a great person to go to.
 
As managers, INFPs are among the least likely to seem like managers - their egalitarian attitudes lend respect to every subordinate, preferring communication as human beings than as a boss/employee opposition. People with the INFP personality type are flexible, open-minded and give their subordinates the tools they need, be they responsible delegation or an intuitive and receptive sounding board, to get the job done. Keeping their eyes on the horizon, INFPs set goals that achieve a desirable end, and help the people working under them to make that happen.
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http://www.16personalities.com/infps-at-work

I have a similar management style. I am directive but I'm more egalitarian viewing management as a means to empower. My goal is help others help themselves, not make them do things simply because I want them to. I'm probably better at establishing guidelines but leave it up to the individual to use their best judgment to enforce them. Not a fan of leadership styles requiring me to enforce the rules. I think this is the because I don't see it as my responsibility to make someone do something they don't want to do or simply because I want them to do it. I usually expect everyone to have their own work ethic or internal drive to push them to get something done. I don't too much like trying to force someone to do things they don't want to do. I'd rather step back and let them do what they need to do, rather than having to push people around to get things done. But I like guiding others, and giving them different options and perspectives on how to handle decision making without directly telling them what to do. If it's a good friend or family, member I'm usually more involved and directive in push for something to be done, but with others, I'm more hands off. Although, I have to say, I was very bossy as a child but it didn't work for me. Maybe that's why I ditched the authoritarian management style. Most people weren't very responsive. I found that people were more likely to listen if I used a more suggestive, laid back or subtle approach.
 
Serenity said:
... a Fi-Si loop. Where they relive an experience and all feelings surrounding it over and over and over again, especially if it was a negative one for them. I suppose you could also call it wallowing. It stunts personal growth and often leaves them unable to allow themselves to learn from what has occurred and move on.
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Many people commonly also like to refer to this as..... depression! lol
 
pics said:
http://www.16personalities.com/infps-at-work

I have a similar management style. I am directive but I'm more egalitarian viewing management as a means to empower. My goal is help others help themselves, not make them do things simply because I want them to. I'm probably better at establishing guidelines but leave it up to the individual to use their best judgment to enforce them. Not a fan of leadership styles requiring me to enforce the rules. I think this is the because I don't see it as my responsibility to make someone do something they don't want to do or simply because I want them to do it. I usually expect everyone to have their own work ethic or internal drive to push them to get something done. I don't too much like trying to force someone to do things they don't want to do. I'd rather step back and let them do what they need to do, rather than having to push people around to get things done. But I like guiding others, and giving them different options and perspectives on how to handle decision making without directly telling them what to do. If it's a good friend or family, member I'm usually more involved and directive in push for something to be done, but with others, I'm more hands off. Although, I have to say, I was very bossy as a child but it didn't work for me. Maybe that's why I ditched the authoritarian management style. Most people weren't very responsive. I found that people were more likely to listen if I used a more suggestive, laid back or subtle approach.
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I LOVE having (healthy) INFP superiors.

Having a healthy INFP superior is pretty much the best experience ever, while having an unhealthy one as your team mate or superior is pretty much the worst experience ever lol.
 
Korg said:
I've heard that INFP's are one of the least tolerable / useful types when they're unhealthy. I would say my experience with them has proved this to be so.

Other types can (and often will) get something out of hitting bottom, like ENTJ's leading third world revolutions or starting wildly successful corporations who amaze us with their ability to get around environmental regulations. Or ENFP's becoming comedians who turn their depressive episodes into entertainment. Or INTP's coding new apps despite the fact they're socially retarded fatsos who don't shower and live in mom's basement.

But INFP's get zero return on their lack-of investment into healthy living. They just sit inside and fantasize about the lives they never led. And then when they do socialize, they're narcissistic twits that want everyone to be an emotional tampon who soaks up their problems and emotional slop that nobody else wants to deal with.
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Wow. That makes me want to hear your view of intjs and then to round off, your view of your own type.
 
niffer said:
I LOVE having (healthy) INFP superiors.

Having a healthy INFP superior is pretty much the best experience ever, while having an unhealthy one as your team mate or superior is pretty much the worst experience ever lol.
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What about the "unhealthy" ones made them worse? Could you provide an example?
 
pics said:
What about the "unhealthy" ones made them worse? Could you provide an example?
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  • Them stubbornly demanding others to do impractical things that everyone else disagrees upon doing
  • Getting lost in their heads and not being present in the situation with other people
  • Not acknowledging the emotional cues of others
  • Not being able to compromise when they disagree with the values others hold and/or being ungracious when forced to
  • Perfectionism which is tunnel-visioned
  • Unfair and inconsistent (self-contradicting, self-serving behaviour such as lying or believing they deserve more of something than others for some reason)
  • Feel very strongly about certain things with very limited experience to warrant such strong feelings, then they take action based on these feelings, then shit hits the fan for them and they fail, then they sulk, then they drain others more with their sulking and become even more closed-minded and limiting of their action taking and by association their ability to acquire more new input/experiences (AKA Fi-Si loop AKA depressive asshurt)
  • Viscerally weak; dependent on others for protection
  • Emotionally draining to the point of overwhelming and alienating other people
  • Lacking in positive emotional support and reinforcement for others
  • Bad at taking criticism; good at bitching about others


One example was this one INFP dude I knew from childhood into high school who would try to direct every group project he became a part of in any subject, create his own "unique and creative vision" for it which everyone else would think is weird and impractical, use his patheticness and demandingness to try to get everyone to submit to him, and ultimately piss off all his group members and nearly sabotage the execution of his projects. Also he cheats a lot when he's just unwinding and gaming with people apparently.


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Myth: "INFP are spineless, whiny bitches with no brain and less worth as a human being." -an actual quote from an ESTJ I knew.

Fact: INFP are awesome to be around, though some of the people interacting with them would rather not have the "touchy" side of touchy-feely. Yes, the less mature ones have an annoying habit of bringing emotion to a rational debate, then complain when their more illogical claims are soundly defeated. Yes, they abhor conflict to a fault, and I've seen some run away from a life-changing decision because they were too afraid to potentially start a fight. They are not the flakey sort, however. INFP are easily some of the most loyal, kind, caring people I've ever met.
 
Eventhorizon said:
Wow. That makes me want to hear your view of intjs and then to round off, your view of your own type.
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I feel like INTJs and INFPs are incredibly similar. Or at least their traits aline with my own as far as the INTJs go that I've met in real life. My niece is an INTJ and my gay guy friend is an INTJ as well and I had them both take the test cause I was pretty convinced they were INFPs. Their both great writers, humble, perfectionists, don't tolerate bull shit, old souls -like really old, like put the 18 year old me to shame old lol. They're pretty awesome people and just from a life values stand point I feel like we have a lot in common.
 
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