INFP: Myths vs. Realities

[nosferatu]

I really enjoy INFP's. They're like the wise monks of the world, always ready to dish out wisdom. Sometimes when they share some of their experiences or values, I don't think they're trying to bring anyone down, I always take it as they perceive something about me or the environment that I'm in, and how that could relate to something they might intuit would be beneficial to me, even if at the time I don't see it as so, or didn't accept the value at the time. But later on the perspective comes back to me when I'm open to it, or finally understand. I think often because they are so idealistic, it can come off as people becoming quick to judge what they share, or writing the INFP off as judgmental. I don't think they mean it to be that way, more or less they can be quite rigid with themselves and what they believe in.

 

[Gaze]

I just read this whole thread and wow... didn't know people could have such strong opinions of us.

yeah, it's interesting because most of the posters in this thread are not INFPs. Some simply wanted the opportunity to complain about INFPs they know. So, don't think too much of it.

 

[Dohavior]

ISFP= emo
INFP= extremely volatile

To test my hypothesis grab said INFP subject's hand then duck immediately as uppercut comes whizzing pass.

 

[54tjsioU]

ISFP= emo
INFP= extremely volatile

To test my hypothesis grab said INFP subject's hand then duck immediately as uppercut comes whizzing pass.

Yeah, I could see myself punching you *nods*

 

[endersgone]

Your post(s) are pretty much spot on for me [MENTION=1669]pics[/MENTION] .. if you’re not an INFP I’m probably not either.
That said…

I’ve always thought the opposite about the lighthearted vs serious thing—that the myth was we were more on the serious side (the emo side … not that we were light hearted/bubbly). I can only speak for myself in this regard, but I think that on the surface I can seem pretty “serious” but if you break through those “surface barriers” a substantial portion of who I am is pretty lighthearted... joking/teasing is big part of how I communicate. I don’t think most of these traits are easy to discern over social media and the like.

As far as spreading asshurtness is concerned, I don’t think this is really indicative of type..more so the individual’s mental state/maturity (as I’ve seen other types engage in this sort of behavior – I’m not excluding myself because I have been there). I (personally) think it has more to do with one being exceptionally sensitive/insecure and not knowing how to deal with said asshurtness (and/or express themselves in a healthy way in response).

 

[Gaze]

Your post(s) are pretty much spot on for me @pics .. if you’re not an INFP I’m probably not either.
That said…

I’ve always thought the opposite about the lighthearted vs serious thing—that the myth was we were more on the serious side (the emo side … not that we were light hearted/bubbly). I can only speak for myself in this regard, but I think that on the surface I can seem pretty “serious” but if you break through those “surface barriers” a substantial portion of who I am is pretty lighthearted... joking/teasing is big part of how I communicate. I don’t think most of these traits are easy to discern over social media and the like.

Thanks. Glad to have other INFP's feedback as a check. Sometimes, I'm not sure if the traits I notice in myself are typical INFP traits or just personal habits of mine. In any case, I'm glad you mentioned the serious thing. When INFP descriptions peg us as "hippie" types, it never clicked or made sense. I'm far from it. And I think the impression someone gives in their writing can distort perception of their type. For example, in the classes I teach, students have taken the personality type test and the students who I would never have pegged as INFP, got INFP. And there are so diverse. I never would have guessed. So, how we appear in writing in social media forums like this seems quite different from how we may appear in person. It would be interesting to stand in a room full of INFPs and see how it feels. Would be interesting.

 

[Arising Tale]

There's also one more truth I wanna add to this list.

It is a fact within research on social dynamics that we tend to blame those that we hurt in order to make it seem like we had some kind of legitimate reason for hurting them when we reflect on our past actions.

I feel that the image that many INFPs give to others (unconsciously or not) is that they are people who were hurt in some way, and now they have to be steadfast in their values as a sort of vengeance, or as their version of resilience against the world.

This image we see of INFPs subconsciously makes people feel that the INFP thinks those who aren't as steadfast as them about the INFP's values are personally to blame for their hurt. We feel like we hurt them, and this makes us want to hate and blame the INFPs pre-emptively. This is probably why many people hate INFPs, even though many people state contempt-related issues with them like "they are narcissistic", "they are weak and useless", blah blah blah. We tend not to hate those who are vulnerable without anything else underlying (actually people tend to respond positively to a person who is vulnerable), and we tend not to hate people simply because they are more self-referential than average either. This typical pattern is also related to why people are prone to wanting to type intuitive people that are easily asshurt or reactive, as INFP, even if they are something else ( @TheDaringHatTrick )

Anyway, this seems to create an endless cycle of asspain experiences in the lives of INFPs, where they give people asspain and get an ever growing and teetering tower of asspain from others in return for ALLLLLL ETERNITY!!!!

Guess I'm not alone. Also curious about outliers.

 

[Arising Tale]

Those who think Fi doms are all bubbles and unicorns definitely never stood at the end of a blazing, overdrive, ready to explode Fi.

What would you rather avoid? explosion of Fi or explosion of Te...hehehe

 

[barbad0s]

IMO if there was one thing that could be done to one of the MBTI types to positively influence humanity, it would be to have all the INFPs feel better about themselves, because that would generate a massive surge of ethics-based productivity

 

[Yva]

Hello INFPs on the board!

I'm curious, what are some of the most popular myths you've heard or read about INFPs, and how would compare this to the reality or how you actually see yourself as an INFP?

Non-INFPs are welcome to give their input.

I heard that they usually suffer from a variety of personality disorders.

 

[Elegant Winter]

I heard when they sneeze rainbows come out.

 

[Gaze]

Other INFPs only, can you relate to any of the following?

-Just because you're nice to someone, they assume you like them and want to be friends.
-People think because they like you, that you must of course be interested in them as well.
-People don't like taking no for an answer very often. They assume you will/should always say yes.
-People like to push your boundaries
-People want to share a lot of private information even regardless whether you want to hear it
-You're expected to be a good listener because you're supposed to be a softer and nicer type
-Don't like the spotlight or crowds, but like one on one interaction compared to groups or crowds
-People assume that your reserve or quiet means you have a personal problem, "need to get out of your shell", or is an invitation to talk
-You don't need others to entertain you. You're pretty good at finding non-social ways to entertain yourself
-People tease you as a means of getting you to step out of non-existent shell
-People expect you to laugh at their jokes, because you're supposed to be nice
-People see you as a reflecting pool for what they feel or think and don't pay the same attention to how you actually feel or think
-You have to almost yell or scream sometimes just to be heard, although you hate having to be aggressive or insistent just to be heard
-People assume you're a passive thinker or agree with them because you don't challenge or question what they say
-People often view your personality in simple terms, because you're not responsive in the way they feel or expect
-People don't expect or like it when you have strong feelings about things, because you're supposed to be nice

 

[grt$5vb]

Um, Enneagram 4's DO get better. Love you 4's and INFP's. You can DO it!

 

[Eventhorizon]

I feel like INTJs and INFPs are incredibly similar. Or at least their traits aline with my own as far as the INTJs go that I've met in real life. My niece is an INTJ and my gay guy friend is an INTJ as well and I had them both take the test cause I was pretty convinced they were INFPs. Their both great writers, humble, perfectionists, don't tolerate bull shit, old souls -like really old, like put the 18 year old me to shame old lol. They're pretty awesome people and just from a life values stand point I feel like we have a lot in common.

Interesting old soul bit. I think mine is best compared to the flag they wrote the star spangled banner about. Old, torn, holes....
Odd though and this is why I am mentioning it, I used to feel wise. I could look at the world, know why things are falling apart and actually think I could solve it just by pointing out points of error when few others could see them. Now I realize many others can see them. They either dont care though or dont want to be bothered with the truth. So now I kind of dont feel like a flag anymore. I feel more like a Styrofoam cup or maybe even an old plastic bag. You know, an annoyance but one that everyone is too lazy to clean up.

 

[Elegant Winter]

Other INFPs only, can you relate to any of the following?

-Just because you're nice to someone, they assume you like them and want to be friends.
-People think because they like you, that you must of course be interested in them as well.
-People don't like taking no for an answer very often. They assume you will/should always say yes.
-People like to push your boundaries
-People want to share a lot of private information even regardless whether you want to hear it
-You're expected to be a good listener because you're supposed to be a softer and nicer type
-Don't like the spotlight or crowds, but like one on one interaction compared to groups or crowds
-People assume that your reserve or quiet means you have a personal problem, "need to get out of your shell", or is an invitation to talk
-You don't need others to entertain you. You're pretty good at finding non-social ways to entertain yourself
-People tease you as a means of getting you to step out of non-existent shell
-People expect you to laugh at their jokes, because you're supposed to be nice
-People see you as a reflecting pool for what they feel or think and don't pay the same attention to how you actually feel or think
-You have to almost yell or scream sometimes just to be heard, although you hate having to be aggressive or insistent just to be heard
-People assume you're a passive thinker or agree with them because you don't challenge or question what they say
-People often view your personality in simple terms, because you're not responsive in the way they feel or expect
-People don't expect or like it when you have strong feelings about things, because you're supposed to be nice

I relate to almost all of these. The ones that are bold are the ones I experience commonly.

 

[Gaze]

I relate to almost all of these. The ones that are bold are the ones I experience commonly.

yeah, well INFJs and INFPs share quite a bit it seems. I think that some of those things I listed may just be personal annoyances than type related habits in any case. But it's also nice to know when others seem to notice the same things as you do, even if it isn't entirely type related.

 

[Elegant Winter]

yeah, well INFJs and INFPs share quite a bit it seems. I think that some of those things I listed may just be personal annoyances than type related habits in any case. But it's also nice to know when others seem to notice the same things as you do, even if it isn't entirely type related.

But I'm an INFP, too! Seriously I am..

 

[Rcs6r]

Other INFPs only, can you relate to any of the following?

-Just because you're nice to someone, they assume you like them and want to be friends.
-People think because they like you, that you must of course be interested in them as well.
-People don't like taking no for an answer very often. They assume you will/should always say yes.
-People like to push your boundaries
-People want to share a lot of private information even regardless whether you want to hear it
-You're expected to be a good listener because you're supposed to be a softer and nicer type
-Don't like the spotlight or crowds, but like one on one interaction compared to groups or crowds
-People assume that your reserve or quiet means you have a personal problem, "need to get out of your shell", or is an invitation to talk
-You don't need others to entertain you. You're pretty good at finding non-social ways to entertain yourself
-People tease you as a means of getting you to step out of non-existent shell
-People expect you to laugh at their jokes, because you're supposed to be nice
-People see you as a reflecting pool for what they feel or think and don't pay the same attention to how you actually feel or think
-You have to almost yell or scream sometimes just to be heard, although you hate having to be aggressive or insistent just to be heard
-People assume you're a passive thinker or agree with them because you don't challenge or question what they say
-People often view your personality in simple terms, because you're not responsive in the way they feel or expect
-People don't expect or like it when you have strong feelings about things, because you're supposed to be nice

I can relate to some of these, but find they only apply to people I am not close to such as coworkers or peers where the relationships are impersonal. If I were with a group of friends or certain family the dynamic would be different.

INFJs and INFPs share quite a bit it seems.

INFJs relate to the world through others, INFPs through themselves, from what I understand.

 

[Rcs6r]

I am sure there are outliers who are totally awesome.

Thank you, I know I am.

 

[Dohavior]

Confucius say, "never play the nice game with INFP else they will nice your immortal soul to oblivion." The smiles, the smiles make it stop!