[INTP] INTP/INFJ - The Golden Pair

darat34 said:
anyways i beg my pardon for my rascal behaviour. let us hope that you will forgive me.

or- OR maybe not. im just an fool and know nothing. i beg my pardon for asking the very name of your lover.

let us hope that you will forgive me. ( or maybe not ) for its too late for that. ( i think )

still - still i beg my pardon. since im not very well behaved. and this is an open secret.
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For what it's worth, you're forgiven.
 
So lots of thoughts on this. If we aren’t the golden pair, so many questions arise:

—What is the best type for an INFJ
—What is the best type for an INTP
—If not an INFJ/INTP pairing, what is the golden pair or the closest thing to it
—Which type gets closer to their ideal match
—Where does the INFJ/INTP stand

I’m only going to focus on INFJ female and INTP male because I think gender matters. Yeah I do not think INTP females work with INFJ males that well

I think as a young pup, INFJs are like the holy grail for an INTP. Both filter judgement through the same lenses: Ti-Fe vs Fe-Ti. However, perceive the world differently: Ne-Si vs Ni-Se.

Like perfect inverses of each other

I can tell you the number one thing I need as a person, and therefore need from a partner is SPACE. And a lot of it. Can INFJs handle that? Yeah

The second thing I need is the ability to communicate my thoughts directly and bluntly and also to explore many things. Can INFJs handle that? Not too well in my experience

Doesn’t matter how strong the emotional or sexual connection is: if a partner can’t deal with those, I will always have problems

From the INFJs perspective, I feel like they really value being seen and secured

Can an INTP deliver that? Yeah, but we don’t really value security

So what’s the best type for the INTP? Honestly, an extrovert is good for us as long as they can get that we need space to fill our tanks. Best would be ENFPs, honestly. I know people seem to think the INFJ and ENFP connection is the most magical thing in the world but there’s only so many INFJs and INTPs and more than enough ENFPs to cover...

Consider this from an ENFP females view. 14% of women are ENFP. The entire sum of male introverted intuitives is like 8.5%. That means there are plenty of ENFPs to go around

It’s almost like the ENFP can pick their flavor. Also, I think female ENFPs actually like dominant NT types over NFs as a general rule

I know I said INTPs like direct and blunt communication, but I think it’s best male INTPs are paired with feeling types

So yeah, I think the few best types for male INTPs are ENFP and INFJs. I think it would depend on the person and their preferences but both work well

If you like playful, chatty and weirdo adventure, the ENFP is better

If you like intellectual, spiritual and weirdo adventure, then go INFJ

I don’t know but ESFJs love them some INTP too

So golden pair, no, not unless deeply committed to the same purpose
 
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I'm not sure about golden pairings but I find that my best connections are with INFPs. They are just so patient with me and the spiritual weirdness just clicks so I constantly feel emotionally accepted despite the seeming mess. INTJs are also awesome because connect on both the intellectual and emotional level, although it's always a struggle to handle their criticisms. It causes a lot of issues for me. INTPs are awesome as partners, but they need to learn to communicate well. I'd still be happy to get to know an INTP that is absolutely committed. I think, whatever the type as long as commitment is a given, it would be good.
 
Good observations

I find INFPs amazing but it takes a lot for us to get kick started. I really can’t deal with INTJs “criticisms”. I’ve dated one, my sister is one and that part of them is really not welcome from my perspective. They don’t seem to actually understand or want to. That and they are too cold for my tastes. Guess I need some feelings to tickle my inferior, balance me and grow

I think the best introverted intuitive for us is the INFJ. Puts us in a weird position because I feel like the INTP is the benefactor of that pairing so we stand more to lose and have to put out much more
 
General advice: MBTI should not be used as some kind of pairing/love guide.

It doesn't work that way as every person is different, some characteristics won't create a perfect possibility for a bonding. That's imo the same issue with how all these dating site/app algorithms work. Trying to find a match because of some characteristics that you have put in.

Having said that, INTP/INFJ "pairings" can work because of this:
MINFJToothFairy said:
They are just so patient with me and the spiritual weirdness just clicks so I constantly feel emotionally accepted despite the seeming mess.
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But again, it depends on the person.
 
@dragulagu stated that well.

INFJs-INTPs do match well, connect well, bond well, but in relationships, not much can be done when one or either of you is not romantically attached to the other. It's that want to commit.

For INFJs, deciding to commit can be a slow burn. It takes a while but you can be sure that when they get there, they will get there and that in the process, they aren't openly considering other human options. It's just a matter of is this going to work? How? What could possibly go wrong? Can I manage that? INTPs on the other hand have this carefree attitude to dating such that even when they find a connection, the need for options, other human options included, doesn't really quiet down...

That said, how do INTPs get to the point of actual commitment? Or, how do men figure out that this is THE ONE, for that matter?
 
MINFJToothFairy said:
But this also happens with friends... So I assume, all other pre requisites apply.
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Correct

MINFJToothFairy said:
That said, how do INTPs get to the point of actual commitment? Or, how do men figure out that this is THE ONE, for that matter?
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I'm curious now to what the other members will answer on your question, it's a good one.
 
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Ren said:
I would intuitively says that INFJ-INTP have good potential as a pair, but I'm very happy with my INFJ-INFJ relationship :innocent:
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Samesies! :smiley:

Funny considering how I was adamant about finding an INTP now that I look back on my previous posts on this thread hahaha! Though it was a half serious and half joking situation for me lol.

But either way, I’m very satisfied and couldn’t be happier. ^_^

Would say INFJ-INFJ is probably one of the most fulfilling potential pairs along with INTPs, ENFPs, and perhaps ENTPs as well from what I remember reading!
 
ClevelandINTP said:
Good observations

I find INFPs amazing but it takes a lot for us to get kick started. I really can’t deal with INTJs “criticisms”. I’ve dated one, my sister is one and that part of them is really not welcome from my perspective. They don’t seem to actually understand or want to. That and they are too cold for my tastes. Guess I need some feelings to tickle my inferior, balance me and grow

I think the best introverted intuitive for us is the INFJ. Puts us in a weird position because I feel like the INTP is the benefactor of that pairing so we stand more to lose and have to put out much more
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Let me retrace the INTJ thing. I appreciate that they get the need for space better than almost anyone. It’s Te. And it’s a specific type of Te. It’s when they’re on the offensive with it or they try to fill gaps based on weak Ni and try to Te something that is not quite there. They can be hard to get to let down and just have fun. They are loyal af though. Maybe the most loyal
 
ClevelandINTP said:
It’s when they’re on the offensive with it or they try to fill gaps based on weak Ni and try to Te something that is not quite there.
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But you're right, when incomplete information from Ni (not weak Ni persé) fills in Te that needs to be right, it can be a tiresome, stubborn or even childish attitude or just jumps too quickly into conclusions. Ni/Te has its weakness.
 
I remember conversations with an INTJ where the responses always begin with a disagreeing statement, but then the proceeding explanation turns out to be a rephrased re echo of my point. It always makes me laugh.

What I really can't handle, apart from the criticism, is the controlling aspect. For INTJs, nearly everything needs to be planned and if something goes out of plan they go berserk. Angry even. INTPs get nervous about it but they can always recover and help you figure it out. I will always figure it out on my own and i've always appreciated how INTPs just go, ah well, okay then ---especially INFPs. I panic but INFPs actually really have it under control and they do so well in helping you through it. It's most pacifying. What I can't handle about INFPs, uhm, well not much. They respect my need for service and to do "ideal" things so it's fine.

With INTPs, I constantly feel like an ethereal specimen; slightly out of this world. The perspectives are always different, enlightening, engaging but i've always been afraid that my true emotional depths would be too much for their comfort. It takes a while for them to warm up emotionally, unlike the nearly instantaneous connections I have with INTJs and INFPs but when it does happen, it's very secure. With INTPs, I've also always been afraid of possession. INTPs have a tendency to be jealous friends, INTJs too. Yet, as a partner, what always struck my fears with an INTP was that one day, there would finally come a better option and i'd be thrown on the side for the newer, better one while I on the other hand have the grandest hardest time believing it's over. But I think that applies for all wrong relationships.
 
MINFJToothFairy said:
I remember conversations with an INTJ where the responses always begin with a disagreeing statement, but then the proceeding explanation turns out to be a rephrased re echo of my point. It always makes me laugh.

What I really can't handle, apart from the criticism, is the controlling aspect. For INTJs, nearly everything needs to be planned and if something goes out of plan they go berserk. Angry even. INTPs get nervous about it but they can always recover and help you figure it out. I will always figure it out on my own and i've always appreciated how INTPs just go, ah well, okay then ---especially INFPs. I panic but INFPs actually really have it under control and they do so well in helping you through it. It's most pacifying. What I can't handle about INFPs, uhm, well not much. They respect my need for service and to do "ideal" things so it's fine.

With INTPs, I constantly feel like an ethereal specimen; slightly out of this world. The perspectives are always different, enlightening, engaging but i've always been afraid that my true emotional depths would be too much for their comfort. It takes a while for them to warm up emotionally, unlike the nearly instantaneous connections I have with INTJs and INFPs but when it does happen, it's very secure. With INTPs, I've also always been afraid of possession. INTPs have a tendency to be jealous friends, INTJs too. Yet, as a partner, what always struck my fears with an INTP was that one day, there would finally come a better option and i'd be thrown on the side for the newer, better one while I on the other hand have the grandest hardest time believing it's over. But I think that applies for all wrong relationships.
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God INTJs suck don't they? :wink:
 
Hahahaha but mostly adorable when i'm in my right frame of mind. INTJs always back down when an INFJ roars.
 
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