Is it possible...?

[muir]

I very much know what you're talking about... why I'm so alone. I'm unrealistic about my goals, I've been told that. Be normal (like us, that means). But I love my unrealistic goals, because sometimes, it works.

But you're right, I probably wished I was an INTJ. Because tough/tough and not tough/soft. I don't hate INFJs, I think I just don't want to be one because of that. But it doesn't make it different. Being tough outside doesn't make you tough inside. I know that. People don't. I'm going to have to accept a few (more) painful things.

Unrealistic ideas can get us into all sorts of situations...some of which might not be good!

However how do we know if things would have been better to not go through those difficult times? We might have screwed up in other ways! lol

But here's a thought.....every incredible thing that was ever achieved...that seemed unlikely before it was acheived began as an unrealistic goal

There's going to be trial and error to find the good goals...the ones that energise us...the ones we feel good about; i think the trick is to find those and then ride that wave

No offence to INTJ's but i wouldn't trade

I'll keep my sensitivities and besides i'm plenty competent

I honestly believe the world would be a better place if there were more INFJ's......what kind of planning fuck up at galactic central lead to only 1% of humanity being INFJ?

It won't have been an INFJ who made that mistake!

 

[DaynaSkully]

I want to say, it's not that always easy to know, when all your life you have been pushed to doubt yourself, doubt everything you are, or could be. By close people I mean, family. I've toughened up, not ignoring who I was, but certainly ignoring what I had to go through. It's easier to be tough when not being around people. I can tell you, I hurt a lot less, and I cry a lot less. Thanks for your help, Right now I'm done, I need music.

 

[muir]

I feel the same way about this. I always wonder how people can be so unsure about they're type. I also took the Myers-Briggs test without having read any descriptions and it came back INFJ. When I read the description I was stunned. It was like, holy crap!, how can anybody know that much about me and not know me? Even the people that know me best wouldn't be able to describe me anything like the INFJ but that's what I am like on the inside and that's how I relate to the world. It was the first time I thought that maybe there were some people similar to me out there. And I've never understood why people want to be INFJ if they're not. It's not an easy personality type so if you're something else embrace it because being an INFJ is not about living in a magical world of uniqueness but more having to deal with a very complex personality in a world where people want things to be easily labelled and understood.

Absolutely

Embrace your type and live in the moment as much as you can (i also need to take my own advice!)

It does give you self acceptance...it does allow you to hold your head up and say ''yeah i'm different but there are others out there like me, so i still belong here''

 

[muir]

I want to say, it's not that always easy to know, when all your life you have been pushed to doubt yourself, doubt everything you are, or could be. By close people I mean, family. I've toughened up, not ignoring who I was, but certainly ignoring what I had to go through. It's easier to be tough when not being around people. I can tell you, I hurt a lot less, and I cry a lot less. Thanks for your help, Right now I'm done, I need music.

You'll find plenty of people here who feel the same way i'm sure!

 

[DaynaSkully]

I don't know. I've never felt like I belonged anywhere. You start doubtng it can happen after a while.

 

[muir]

I don't know. I've never felt like I belonged anywhere. You start doubtng it can happen after a while.

Well that was the other mistake at galactic central...they sent a bunch of us to the wrong planet!

That would also explain the low numbers of INFJ's

We live in a world of extroverted sensors....a strange world indeed

Until they rectify the mistake and beam us up or we expire and move onto the next stage we are going to have to try and carve out a niche in this strange alien land

 

[DaynaSkully]

That's a strange world for many reasons. It could really be simpler with more open-mindedness though. But I sort of gave up on that, from others. I still practice.

I don't know why that is, but there must be a reason, hidden somewhere.

If I came here, I guess I have hope somehow. But my alien land is more with my cats lately, they love you just like you are, and genuinely. I tend to know it if it's not genuine. Why alone, again.

 

[muir]

That's a strange world for many reasons. It could really be simpler with more open-mindedness though. But I sort of gave up on that, from others. I still practice.

I don't know why that is, but there must be a reason, hidden somewhere.

If I came here, I guess I have hope somehow. But my alien land is more with my cats lately, they love you just like you are, and genuinely. I tend to know it if it's not genuine. Why alone, again.

Here's a thought...

If we are of a minority type then could it be reasonable to assume that we might not be compatible with as many people as someone who is from a more common type?

This means we will not gel with every person we come across...in fact we may only gel with the occaisional person!

Bummer!

So then its a game of trying to identify where we might find someone compatible to ourselves and then trying to maximise our exposure to that source

For introverts who like their quiet time it does mean we have to get out there and mingle a bit but at the same time in a targetted way, whilst equiping ourselves with a philosophical approach, knowing as we do that we are not, as a minority type, going to be compatible with each person who crosses our path (ie accepting failure as an inevitable part of the process)

We can then also be more forgiving of ourselves for failing to gel with every person who crosses our path...it is simply the dynamic of society

Someone once told me to take what seemed to me to be my weakness and to turn it to my advantage

We have to dance to our own beat

 

[DaynaSkully]

I think the only way to make a weakness a strenght is to admit to others it is, more than just to ourselves, and that it's ok. For a start. Believe me or not, I find it to be incredidibly difficult to do. Show your sensitiveness and "dreamy" side, and accept to be hurt on who you are, while the depth of it is not understood, most of the time, and that tomorrow, others will have forgotten, but not you, and you'll keep it for a damn long time. So targetted, yes, a lot better. From what I've gathered, I tend to feel better with ENFJs and ENFPs. NFs types generally. I can mingle, but it's rapidly exhausting. Less with NFs, and a few NTs. Because we can talk about meaningful things in depth. Failure is difficult to endure, as far as I am concerned, in relationships, of any kind. If I meet people just once and it doesn't do it, it's easier than if it turns out bad with people I actually feel somewhat connected with. But I guess the latter is for everybody. Indeed, we have to dance to our own beat, everyone turns out being miserable otherwise.

 

[muir]

I think the only way to make a weakness a strenght is to admit to others it is, more than just to ourselves, and that it's ok. For a start. Believe me or not, I find it to be incredidibly difficult to do. Show your sensitiveness and "dreamy" side, and accept to be hurt on who you are, while the depth of it is not understood, most of the time, and that tomorrow, others will have forgotten, but not you, and you'll keep it for a damn long time. So targetted, yes, a lot better. From what I've gathered, I tend to feel better with ENFJs and ENFPs. NFs types generally. I can mingle, but it's rapidly exhausting. Less with NFs, and a few NTs. Because we can talk about meaningful things in depth. Failure is difficult to endure, as far as I am concerned, in relationships, of any kind. If I meet people just once and it doesn't do it, it's easier than if it turns out bad with people I actually feel somewhat connected with. But I guess the latter is for everybody. Indeed, we have to dance to our own beat, everyone turns out being miserable otherwise.

Our perceived weakeness is our niche nature but if we find someone who likes our niche nature then our weakness becomes our strength

If we dance to the beat of others that person who would like our niche nature will never find us

So we must be ourselves to find them, but it might be a journey getting there!

 

[DaynaSkully]

It is a journey, and there're so many beautiful things in life. If it could be a little less painful at times, it would be easier to show that niche to closer ones. And I'm pretty sure we all would gain understanding from each other, and live better together. What I know then, is being yourself and genuine, is not valued. It's always about what can be taken from you, and not what you can bring. I do believe that if people were let be who they really are, the result for the planet would be more positive. So I'm going to think about all that now. And reflect on weaknesses, that are not perceived the same by everybody, even if it's just by a few it's perceived differently, I guess it might be worth it to try.

 

[say what]

Thanks for helping. For all I've read here, I would be an INFJ, but neatly. So I had to think about it, why I score more often as an INTJ (these past months that is). And I say it depends on how the questions are asked, too.

For instance, I care about people, I empathize with them, but I don't necessarily participate, so all that is "participate actively" "showing emotions" etc..., I pass on the T side. And that question: do you value justice more than mercy? Well asked that way, yes. But it feels like that question was made by a thinker. Justice is very important for NFs actually. I would have made the question like that: do you value justice more than compassion? I go to the F side then.

I noticed the days I'm irritated, I'm going to score INTJ more easily. The more I feel "not well", the higher the T. If I'm ok, myself, more F. Conclusion, I'm angry lol

I actually can be like this. I can empathize, but at time, showing emotions (mostly negative) is very difficult for me.

 

[muir]

It is a journey, and there're so many beautiful things in life. If it could be a little less painful at times, it would be easier to show that niche to closer ones. And I'm pretty sure we all would gain understanding from each other, and live better together. What I know then, is being yourself and genuine, is not valued. It's always about what can be taken from you, and not what you can bring. I do believe that if people were let be who they really are, the result for the planet would be more positive. So I'm going to think about all that now. And reflect on weaknesses, that are not perceived the same by everybody, even if it's just by a few it's perceived differently, I guess it might be worth it to try.

The current system is not really interested in whats genuine

I think it is possible for humans to live in a more natural way where people are all appreciated for who they are and what they bring to the community, but i think we are being kept in an unnatural system which is making many people unhappy

When you dig it becomes clear that the system is maintained by a relatively small number if people

So i don't see human nature as the problem....i think human nature is at the moment being bent out of shape by a sick system that unfortunately we are all caught up in

So don't judge others too harshly...they too are stuck in the same system

Until it changes we just have to try and navigate a course through it

For INFJ's however who value authenticity a system that is inauthentic is going to be a particularly harsh environment

 

[DaynaSkully]

Agreed with the system web we're in. I try to keep that in mind. I just get frustrated sometimes, and you're meeting me right there Individually then, I'm sure they're genuine people. I just don't know where they are.

 

[muir]

Agreed with the system web we're in. I try to keep that in mind. I just get frustrated sometimes, and you're meeting me right there Individually then, I'm sure they're genuine people. I just don't know where they are.

It is frustrating!

For me i'm trying to find ways to be the change i want to see whilst at the same time trying to navigate a way through it that provides quality of life....not easy!

It has been designed to be constrictive and that has a knock on affect on how we live and how we all interact

Have you thought about meeting people through an activity you enjoy? That way you already have something in common

 

[DaynaSkully]

I actually can be like this. I can empathize, but at time, showing emotions (mostly negative) is very difficult for me.

I hide negative emotions like if it were a national sport. I don't want people to know they can get to me or hurt me. It's uncomfortable at best, unless I have someone in front who I know cares, and who won't use it against me on the moment, or after. I don't see that as a bad thing most of the time, but when it keeps me away from what I really want, a deep emotional connection, nearly wordless and beautiful. Does that make sense? lol

 

[DaynaSkully]

It is frustrating!

For me i'm trying to find ways to be the change i want to see whilst at the same time trying to navigate a way through it that provides quality of life....not easy!

It has been designed to be constrictive and that has a knock on affect on how we live and how we all interact

Have you thought about meeting people through an activity you enjoy? That way you already have something in common

I'm at a point in my life, where I need lots of time alone, and re-build destroyed self. I spent ten years of my life with someone who I realized after, always tried to change me, and made me feel bad about myself, but putting it a way that sounded "constructive". And terribly insensitive. But I thought I was the problem. Boo ENTJs. I tried to make myself very small, to fix things that didn't need to be fixed. I tried to maintain a relationship I should have left long ago.
Plus family. Blood family who is not family in the end. Trying to please others, in hope to be helpful but it never seemed so and never was enough, and to be accepted although said weird profusely. If you count that makes 30 years of my life. So I need a rest. And I'm sorry if I sound intolerant. I probably am lately. Out of years of bottled up anger and sorrow. I didn't think it would do so much good to write it down so openly, but it actually does.

And when I see the big picture, how the world works, I see the same thing that was within a closer circle. So what you say is true. Like it is now, I don't see it viable. Not give up then ok. Actions to improve anything for a better place.

 

[muir]

I'm at a point in my life, where I need lots of time alone, and re-build destroyed self. I spent ten years of my life with someone who I realized after, always tried to change me, and made me feel bad about myself, but putting it a way that sounded "constructive". And terribly insensitive. But I thought I was the problem. Boo ENTJs. I tried to make myself very small, to fix things that didn't need to be fixed. I tried to maintain a relationship I should have left long ago.
Plus family. Blood family who is not family in the end. Trying to please others to be accepted although said weird profusely. If you count that makes 30 years of my life. So I need a rest. And I'm sorry if I sound intolerant. I probably am lately. Out of years of bottled up anger and sorrow. I didn't think it would do so much good to write it down so openly, but it actually does.

And when I see the big picture, how the world works, I see the same thing that was within a closer circle. So what you say is true. Like it is now, I don't see it viable. Not give up then ok. Actions to improve anything for a beter place.

Maybe it's time for you to do some stuff for you...

 

[DaynaSkully]

Maybe it's time for you to do some stuff for you...

Being alone is part of the process. Away from the noise, not even reading the news. Not a long term solution. However, eating healthier is, and allow myself to cry when I need also is. Say no sometimes without feeling guilty.

 

[muir]

Being alone is part of the process. Away from the noise, not even reading the news. Not a long term solution. However, eating healthier is, and allow myself to cry when I need also is. Say no sometimes without feeling guilty.

Absolutely...some room to breathe and process things