Is the ENTP-INFJ thing a mirage?!

[1whitehorse1]

I just realised my neighbour is also an INTP. I thought he was an ExxP but now I realise he's a talkative INTP. He's married to an ENFJ (most likely). He's also in IT. She's a language teacher. He definitely knows how to keep it real and provides good perspective on problems, he tries not to get swept away by emotion, generally down to earth. He scoffs at people who make a big deal about things or act petty. I think INTPs feel safe confiding in INFJs because we are very non-judgemental when speaking with them and give them Fe feedback on their logical conclusions. I wouldn't feel comfortable going into great personal detail about personal stuff, but we do make good friends because we respect the others' 'strengths' and opposite insights in conversation. I guess him being married to an ENFJ means his Fi is highly developped; I'd say that yes, this is the case. However, he does get somewhat irritated when his wife gets swept away by her emotions. But they are mature and can definitely work out these things. They make a good pair.

 

[Jill Hives]

Question: Do INFJ's ever find the 'keep calm and carry on' nature of the INTP to be soothing in times of emotional peril? Or do they just want someone to go all mushy on them?

I am married to an INTP, and occasionally I wish so hard he would just tell me how much he loves me and give me that mushy reaffirmation that I so need sometimes. This is really easy when we are together in person because he can just hug me and it will satisfy me, but we are currently long distance due to living in different countries at the moment, which can definitely have a negative impact on the quality of communication. However, I have learned to read his love language much better as we have been together (which is so great because I am sure otherwise I would have been perpetually unhappy and we never would have gotten married! haha).

I do find it reassuring now that when I say something that hurts his feelings or upsets him in some way and the next day he acts like it never happened, because now that I know how he is, I know that he loves me very much and it just means it isn't worth it to him to even spend any time worrying over it.

It is my tendency to bring up problems if there was no clear closure and make sure there are no ill feelings lingering, but it can make him very uncomfortable because he will feel like I am dwelling on something that no longer matters. I'm coming to realize now, that with him, I don't have to worry so much about "if it still matters". I can trust that he will tell me if it does.

I also love that I really can trust him to mean exactly what he says.

I love my INTP

 

[Matariki]

It sounds like most of you would do better upgrading to an INTP.

...

I'm not even going to go there, but you're probably right. ENTP's seem to do better as lone wolves, we are hardly ideal partner material.

We are always on the move and fastpaced in our daily lives, I know I am. One minute its cleaning the house and cooking meals for my siblings, the next minute I'm at my local art center and or university and then its off to Boxing or Muay Thai for two hours and then the gym and on Sunday's its at church, hopefully soon enough it will be missionary work.
But I have to admit that I'm certainly no INFJ magnet, for some reason its ISFP's and ISTP's that seem to harass me.

 

[Angantyr]

I'm still relatively new to learning about other types but recently I've been observing INTPs and I find them to be the type of people who share common interests and beliefs but for different reasons. They seem like the type to keep you wanting more, some what of a rival more than an enemy.

I have very little experience with ENTPs though I think my Auntie might be one. I did try to talk to one once but they starting talking some incosistent babble trying to frustrate me so I just ignored them.

 

[INFJ33ca]

ENTPs and INFJs are extremely rare, but we're supposed to be so compatible.


I've seen statistics indicating that INFJs are the most romantically unsatisfied type.


Are we all screwed? What the hell?

Yes(lol). But it doesn't bother me. The relationship that works are usually friendships that evolve. People normally don't have the patience for this, and I test them before committing more time to them. I like being alone more than having a relationship A serious relationship means weekends are shot, texting during the week(Ugh) my time is already divided up into different areas. For a writer, a serious relationship is a complete nightmare when with someone who doesn't respect introversion.

ENTP's &INFJ's could be a match. Each ENTP and INFJ is different. It also depends if they are healthy.

ENTP's have the ability to zoom in on an INFJ's emotions with accuracy. Not a lot of people can do this because of the chameleon trait. I have observed that their Ne is accurate and helpful. I wouldn't get into a romantic relationship with one but would let one in my inner circle. I noticed that when in a room with an ENTP in a group context.. they were observing my emotional state the whole time. That's weird for an INFJ. They like directness so am direct with them.

 

[Sandie33]

ENTPs and INFJs are extremely rare, but we're supposed to be so compatible.


I've seen statistics indicating that INFJs are the most romantically unsatisfied type.


Are we all screwed? What the hell?

More like INFJ's are romantically insatiable...depending, lol. I flirt excessively without meaning any harm, rather to have fun. Getting trapped by it often I tell the fellas that I'm just a hopeless romantic & an a*****E thus I'm a hopeless a**hole lol

 

[James]

hmmm... Just getting through a not good break up with an ENTP , really I think it's about trying to adjust the 'type' that you are. ie if your ENTP not being so attention demanding/grand standing. If you're INFJ not to be so demanding of perfection, and being too serious etc.

Personally I think an infj could maybe do much better with another F type such as ENFP or even another INFJ (rare though we are) or INTJ who can be actually deeply romantic in a good relationship. Poorly adjusted, over critical T types with low empathy or emotional intelligence can be very corrosive to INFJ's from experience I would recommend caution with those.

 

[Sandie33]

hmmm... Just getting through a not good break up with an ENTP , really I think it's about trying to adjust the 'type' that you are. ie if your ENTP not being so attention demanding/grand standing. If you're INFJ not to be so demanding of perfection, and being too serious etc.

Personally I think an infj could maybe do much better with another F type such as ENFP or even another INFJ (rare though we are) or INTJ who can be actually deeply romantic in a good relationship. Poorly adjusted, over critical T types with low empathy or emotional intelligence can be very corrosive to INFJ's from experience I would recommend caution with those.

With age & maturity I believe the perfectionism and seriousness fade a bit for an INFJ. Often as a young person I was always hopeful of a perfect relationship. I've found at this age relationships are work and there is no such thing as perfect. The loses feel devastating at first but since I over think and analyze everything I've learned to see what in the relationship has been a blessing and what was the lesson. Have you found in relationships you tend to be overly Emphatic? For me I felt I was the one doing all the 'work' of being kind and accepting of the other while they were overly critical or blasé. This caused quarrels and my heading for the door. I agree with your statement of caution. In all I've learned to state up front what it is I'm able to offer, what is acceptable, unacceptable, or deal breaker for a relationship. Some get it some do not. As time is proven it's a his\hers\ours deal.