[PUG] Male Rape

[Skathac]

This aspect of human nature I hate the most and I do not believe the punishment can ever be severe enough. Feeling empowered under different circumstances one could engage in consensual sex through a dom/sub relationship. Non-consensual sex is a vile thing.

Both aspects are about trust and power.

In Dom/Sub it is highly dependent on trust and power is given freely.
In Rape trust is completely destroyed and power is taken forcibly.

 

[That Girl]

It may not seem that way to you, but Male Rape is a sensitive and very unlikeable. Males tend to be the ones to disbelief it, even if they were a victim of it themselves, because of social pressure.

Male Rape is NOT considered a serious issue by most persons. That's why it is never discussed.

Interesting. It's discussed a lot at my university.

 

[TinyBubbles]

Oh. No, I meant that the crime (regardless of the severity) doesn't have to do with sex. That's all. I wasn't commenting on whether or not it was better or worse because of this.

ok, thanks for clarifying

slant i think people do take the issue of male rape seriously when it's presented in a serious format such as in this thread. maybe it's joked about sometimes because most men think it can't happen to them, or that if it does happen it's a sign of a latent weakness in the man, which is probably untrue.

 

[bamf]

Oh. No, I meant that the crime (regardless of the severity) doesn't have to do with sex. That's all. I wasn't commenting on whether or not it was better or worse because of this.

Yup. It's this^^^

Rape isn't about sex. It's fulfilling the rapist's needs to dominate and feel power. Often times they've had some experience that has taught them that they are powerless/worthless. In a twisted way, rape (by forcing someone to conform to them) makes the rapist feel worthy. Prison rape is a power struggle, regular rape is a power struggle, man on man rape is a power struggle, child rape is a power struggle, and the less common female on male rape is a power struggle.

To address the issue, we need to figure out why these people have a desire to feel powerful, and why they chose rape as the way to go.

 

[That Girl]

Yup. It's this^^^

Rape isn't about sex. It's fulfilling the rapist's needs to dominate and feel power. Often times they've had some experience that has taught them that they are powerless/worthless. In a twisted way, rape (by forcing someone to conform to them) makes the rapist feel worthy. Prison rape is a power struggle, regular rape is a power struggle, man on man rape is a power struggle, child rape is a power struggle, and the less common female on male rape is a power struggle.

To address the issue, we need to figure out why these people have a desire to feel powerful, and why they chose rape as the way to go.

^^^^

 

[TinyBubbles]

Yup. It's this^^^

Rape isn't about sex. It's fulfilling the rapist's needs to dominate and feel power. Often times they've had some experience that has taught them that they are powerless/worthless. In a twisted way, rape (by forcing someone to conform to them) makes the rapist feel worthy. Prison rape is a power struggle, regular rape is a power struggle, man on man rape is a power struggle, child rape is a power struggle, and the less common female on male rape is a power struggle.

To address the issue, we need to figure out why these people have a desire to feel powerful, and why they chose rape as the way to go.

are we sure the reason is to feel powerful though? on what are you basing that?

if it's true, then maybe it's something like what they say about school bullies - that they bully others because they are bullied in some sense themselves, at home. maybe rapists have a past history of being raped - or at least dominated in some sense? so that they came to believe physical/sexual domination over others was a legitimate way of obtaining power.

 

[Lilchamor]

I volunteer at the rape crisis center here in my city, and this is a real problem. Not only are there NO support groups anywhere in the area for males, but male survivors face so many more social prejudices....people don't understand, don't want to talk about it, think they're gay, etc.

 

[bamf]

are we sure the reason is to feel powerful though? on what are you basing that?

if it's true, then maybe it's something like what they say about school bullies - that they bully others because they are bullied in some sense themselves, at home. maybe rapists have a past history of being raped - or at least dominated in some sense? so that they came to believe physical/sexual domination over others was a legitimate way of obtaining power.

I have no real links (atm) but I have read a number of studies on rape. It often times (not to white-wash) is about the need to feel power, and yes, a lot of sexual criminals have histories of sexual abuse in the past. That's not to say that all do, and hardly to say that sex abuse victims become sexual criminals.

Of course there can be a number of other reasons as well; anger, pathological curiosity, social attitudes towards men/women, but within a lot of these is an underlying need of power. Men on women to feel dominate, men on men to prove "manhood", women on men to have power over stereotypically empowered male society, against children because the child must basically conform. So on and so forth.

 

[enfp can be shy]

Based on observation of mammals and birds - expression of social dominance.

But for someone with our cerebral cortex, what's with the whole stick a penis in someone's cavity to express social power thing?? Why not knock them out, operate on their kidney, sell it on the black market (win a razzie award for most exploited movie cliche)??

 

[On my own path]

I am a bit nervous and hesitant about posting this, but to contribute to the discussion.

I was considered by many as being "gay" due to possessing an effeminate personality, because of the values I hold and because I have no interest in sex. One of the ways I was bullied by some of the girls was by virtue of sexual harassment and sexual assault. They did it , from what I can discern, because they gained some sort of pleasure from seeing me hurt, frustrated,ashamed, cry, and hearing me say," Please just leave me alone". Some boys also, because I am against pornography and have never seen any tried to shove it in my face, their attempts were unsuccessful. To them and others it was one big joke though

 

[Skathac]

I am a bit nervous and hesitant about posting this, but to contribute to the discussion.

I was considered by many as being "gay" due to possessing an effeminate personality, because of the values I hold and because I have no interest in sex. One of the ways I was bullied by some of the girls was by virtue of sexual harassment and sexual assault. They did it , from what I can discern, because they gained some sort of pleasure from seeing me hurt, frustrated,ashamed, cry, and hearing me say," Please just leave me alone". Some boys also, because I am against pornography and have never seen any tried to shove it in my face, their attempts were unsuccessful. To them and others it was one big joke though

I am sorry you were subjected to the ugly side of humanity. I hope if you are not already to be surrounded by people that love, understand, and value you for a friend and respect your values.

 

[slant]

Based on observation of mammals and birds - expression of social dominance.

But for someone with our cerebral cortex, what's with the whole stick a penis in someone's cavity to express social power thing?? Why not knock them out, operate on their kidney, sell it on the black market (win a razzie award for most exploited movie cliche)??

it's not always a penis....

Women rape too.

That's another point people kind of look over.

 

[Questingpoet]

I am a bit nervous and hesitant about posting this, but to contribute to the discussion.

I was considered by many as being "gay" due to possessing an effeminate personality, because of the values I hold and because I have no interest in sex. One of the ways I was bullied by some of the girls was by virtue of sexual harassment and sexual assault. They did it , from what I can discern, because they gained some sort of pleasure from seeing me hurt, frustrated,ashamed, cry, and hearing me say," Please just leave me alone". Some boys also, because I am against pornography and have never seen any tried to shove it in my face, their attempts were unsuccessful. To them and others it was one big joke though

That took a lot to admit, and I really respect you for it. Those "others" who subjected you to this have problems. Their parents most likely had problems and prejudice and passed them on to their children. I think we as a society have made decent progress since I was young and had these type of situations and people around me. But we still have a ways to go. The quiet, thoughtful, unassuming male still has a lot of problem growing up. I too am sorry you had to endure this. You almost expect this from idiot males, its how we program them. But to get similar treatment from the girls is, somehow, even more sad to me. This type of behavior is never pretty. The best thing we can do is raise our kids better and speak out when we see this type of thing.

 

[That Girl]

Q

it's not always a penis....

Women rape too.

That's another point people kind of look over.

Broomstick

 

[enfp can be shy]

Wait, so you presume even in this case the one who gets sticked to be the socially inferior (dominated, victimized)? I find this whole concept insulting against females of all kinds.

But hey, I also object to relating inferior to the spatial sense of lower height physically. What's with the whole praying and worshiping whatever is above and despising and condemning whatever is (be)low. If we would be physically aware that we are moving through space on a cycling carousel, so all the up and down don't make that much sense, we probably wouldn't describe things with this spatial superstition so often.

 

[That Girl]

Wait, so you presume even in this case the one who gets sticked to be the socially inferior (dominated, victimized)? I find this whole concept insulting against females of all kinds.

How does saying one is victimized make them socially inferior? Wouldn't saying otherwise be a more likely label of inferiority? As opposed to being a victim you deserve said treatment?

 

[Raccoon Love]

I was a victim of rape myself,by another male. I was considered effeminate and weak and people took advantage of that. I was harass throughout most of my school years, which is why I have been a loner for such a long time till recently, and even now the scars carry. I have a hard time trusting anyone.

It is a serious issue that I believe needs to be controlled and regulated, though unfortunately society looks at it as a joke. This sort f mentality needs to be change if we ever want progress.

 

[bamf]

it's not always a penis....

Women rape too.

That's another point people kind of look over.

Statistically speaking, men commit a huge percentage of the violence in the world, rape included. It's not to say that women don't rape, but the occurrence is much much lower.

It's hard to get accurate numbers (because so many rapes, regardless of the victim's gender, go unreported) but I've seen things that range from 85%-99% of all rapists are men. It'd be foolish to go with either extreme, so a loosely based assumption would have the percentage hovering around 90% of rapists being men. That's not to say that it isn't important to talk about female rapists, but to me focusing anywhere more than 10% of the talk on female rapists would be unfair.

When talking about rape, I think the most important factor to look at is why people rape, and not who does the raping. Again, rape is a crime of power. To have any productive talk about rape would be in attempts at trying to understand why people feel the need to do so. Simply saying that men get raped too isn't enough in my book. People already know this.

If we're going to talk about support for victims, it needs to be a broad subject. There is very little support for any rape victim; man, woman, or child. From finding ways to provide sustainable support, the discussion/solutions can be extrapolated off into smaller and smaller examples for men and women. Again though, I'd find it a huge waste of time to focus 50/50 on victim's sex when that's disproportionate to who the victims are. People who know anything already know that men get raped too. The next step is talking about rape in general. Across the board it's seen as a social taboo.

 

[slant]

Statistically speaking, men commit a huge percentage of the violence in the world, rape included. It's not to say that women don't rape, but the occurrence is much much lower.

It's hard to get accurate numbers (because so many rapes, regardless of the victim's gender, go unreported) but I've seen things that range from 85%-99% of all rapists are men. It'd be foolish to go with either extreme, so a loosely based assumption would have the percentage hovering around 90% of rapists being men. That's not to say that it isn't important to talk about female rapists, but to me focusing anywhere more than 10% of the talk on female rapists would be unfair.

When talking about rape, I think the most important factor to look at is why people rape, and not who does the raping. Again, rape is a crime of power. To have any productive talk about rape would be in attempts at trying to understand why people feel the need to do so. Simply saying that men get raped too isn't enough in my book. People already know this.

If we're going to talk about support for victims, it needs to be a broad subject. There is very little support for any rape victim; man, woman, or child. From finding ways to provide sustainable support, the discussion/solutions can be extrapolated off into smaller and smaller examples for men and women. Again though, I'd find it a huge waste of time to focus 50/50 on victim's sex when that's disproportionate to who the victims are. People who know anything already know that men get raped too. The next step is talking about rape in general. Across the board it's seen as a social taboo.

There is plenty of support for women and children because it is the most commonly reported.

We don't know if the percentage or number of women who rape is accurate because so often it goes unreported, like you've stated.

The cases of rape we hear on television are typical 'stranger rapes women' etc.

We don't hear about the personal cases about someone that a boy or man knows raping them, unless it's teacher raping man and then there's the controversy that there was consent.

Contrary to what you believe, I think that men need a special focus. All of the threads dealing with rape on this entire forum associate rape with females.

Take, the Rape Condom for example. That was a thread about females.

Take, Rape and Self Defense for females.

That....was about females and rape.

They don't talk about men. When we generalize rape we just talk about women. That's why this thread is here.

 

[Skoffin]

Male rape and sexual harassment against males is considered a joke. I've seen plenty of cases where if a man says he has been assaulted/harassed then he is seen as either a failure as a man for not being able to stop it, assumed that he wanted it to happen, or in some cases even accused of trying to 'demean assault against women'.
There is a lot of attention to assault on women, however nothing is done for male victims. Most people seem to believe that it's a rare occurrence, some even believe that it just never happens.
Both are bad and should be treated in the same respect, it infuriates me when people see sexual harassment against men as a lesser crime (or not a crime at all) compared to harassment on women.
Society needs to wake the fuck up.