[PAX] "Men Need Sex"

Gale said:
having a need doesn't mean you can't control it
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:wyotethumb:

Everybody needs love. Self-love and otherness love. We humans are built that way. Some feel the need more strongly/frequently than others. The feeling waxes and wanes for us all.

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Stu said:
Believe it or not, I am too shy...let's just say it is more Heraclitan than "milking"
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Yeah, I can see how weird it sounds to describe it thru physiology alone. Makes it sound mechanical. Sorry.

I'm not a guy and really don't know what I'm talking about so. (I've probably overanalysed the word "need" too much) :D
 
Gale said:
Yeah, I can see how weird it sounds to describe it thru physiology alone. Makes it sound mechanical. Sorry.

I'm not a guy and really don't know what I'm talking about so. (I've probably overanalysed the word "need" too much) :D
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I think you get this more than you know. Its like..does anyone really think sex robots can ever replace real sex? There are things that go on between partners during sex that go way beyond pleasure.
 
I posed this question to my so who informed me that if it weren't looked badly upon, most men would walk around humping the air if they could get away with it.

"Need" in this context can be defined as a purely physical one. As sex crosses both physical and emotional needs, it's difficult to compartmentalize my answer. I do think there is an innate need to propagate just as there is an instinctual need to connect. With that thought, a need for sex can definitely be higher in men than in women. Take your average male teenager raging with testosterone... However, there are many individuals that can and do have sex without connection, and can connect intimately without sex regardless of gender. It comes down to what one's individual needs are.
 
I can only state things I have experienced in my own life. Two things have caught my attention to talk about. My wife has the TV going and talking about it in the background because I am trying to type, and my dog wants me to throw the ball. What I have learned is interesting, as is the ways I have learned. I will need quiet with no distractions, so later.
 
Scientia said:
You didn't say people need sex. You said men. It implies that men need sex more than women and that dangerous things happen when men don't get sex. No one says women who don't get sex are dangerous or carefully controlled. Now why is that? Culturally, that statement perpetuates the idea that dominant men are carefully controlled forces of sex. Necessarily, that implies that women are less dominant, weaker and uncontrolled recipients. Have you met many lesbians? I would say the two I know have stronger sex drives than any of the men I know.

I say we are all human animals who like sex but don't need it for personal survival, regardless of being male or female. No one ever died from lack of sex but it can be a strong driver of behavior in humans in general.
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Men probably do have a drive for it in a way lesbians and women do not. Its purely a function of male hormone. But that doesn't mean we need sex, I reject the idea that men are too dumb to control their impulses. As far as libido, well I am sure your lesbian pals are exceptions to the rule, but the rule still exists, its almost 100% based in biology and body chemicals. More testosterone = more libido. Even in women, women who take juice and hit the gym and grow muscles see increased growth in their clits and become much much more sexually aggressive and growth in libido.

I recall some such study RE: women taking steroids at the gym that mentioned all that.
 
Free said:
I posed this question to my so who informed me that if it weren't looked badly upon, most men would walk around humping the air if they could get away with it.

"Need" in this context can be defined as a purely physical one. As sex crosses both physical and emotional needs, it's difficult to compartmentalize my answer. I do think there is an innate need to propagate just as there is an instinctual need to connect. With that thought, a need for sex can definitely be higher in men than in women. Take your average male teenager raging with testosterone... However, there are many individuals that can and do have sex without connection, and can connect intimately without sex regardless of gender. It comes down to what one's individual needs are.
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*humps this post*



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On second thought, the things I learned are spiritually based through the understandings in the Word of God.

To every thing there is a season, and a time for every purpose under the sun. Knowing how many here and everywhere feel regarding the Holy Scriptures, I shall have to pass. I learned trying to be Holy.

18 And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
 
I have a friend who lived with this guy who everyone we know thinks is like the greatest guy ever, such a good and DTE guy. She didn't always want to have sex but he yelled at her and said that she was depriving him of his needs. So without knowing exactly what was happening she quickly got into this situation where she felt that she was lying on a bed getting raped every day, month after month. I can't stand this guy, if I ever hear he's going to be somewhere I'm going then I cancel. Everyone else still thinks he's awesome, they don't know what my friend told me.
 
It's up to everyone individually what they need to make life worthwhile.

I don't think sex is important, but that is a reflection of my priorities, not anyone else's.
 
invisible said:
I have a friend who lived with this guy who everyone we know thinks is like the greatest guy ever, such a good and DTE guy. She didn't always want to have sex but he yelled at her and said that she was depriving him of his needs. So without knowing exactly what was happening she quickly got into this situation where she felt that she was lying on a bed getting raped every day, month after month. I can't stand this guy, if I ever hear he's going to be somewhere I'm going then I cancel. Everyone else still thinks he's awesome, they don't know what my friend told me.
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I heard a similar story, a wife told her therapist that her husband needed sex every morning in the shower, that if she did not comply it meant she did not love him. This sort of thing seems medieval.
 
Just shows we have a lot of different perceptions on what's said/unsaid and the definition of the term "need".

My gut reaction to the op is "yes". I very much agree with @James 's post. No we're not going to spontaneously combust (save for the occasional wet dream) or keel over and die without it, but I perceive it as a needed activity that promotes overall health. A more-extreme example is that we won't keel over and die without social interaction, but if you look at examples of criminals cracking up in solitary, you could say it's a need related to psychological and emotional health.

This is not to say that people cannot live happy and worthwhile lives without it. Sexual relationships can provide a minefield of stressors in their own right, and there are myriad reasons why people may choose to abstain or avoid them and be better off in certain respects, for example, a dysfunctional or abusive relationship.

However, my overall assumption, and yes it's an assumption, is that it is a need and it is hardwired as surely as any instance of physical or psychological arousal will indicate.

@Scientia I would agree with your initial objection if the statement was "Only men need sex" but as it is, I don't think that the statement inherently denies that other genders have such a need, or at least, doing so requires the assumption that this was being discussed in terms of something like social policy or legislation which is supposed to be all-inclusive.
 
Stu said:
I heard a similar story, a wife told her therapist that her husband needed sex every morning in the shower, that if she did not comply it meant she did not love him. This sort of thing seems medieval.
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Yeah - barbaric. That's the kind of marriage my parents had. But that was years ago. You'd think that things would have changed by now, but the truth is that human beings aren't capable of changing so quickly. The other thing my friend told me is that for her, and for most other girls, first time sexual experience is being raped and getting dumped the next day. I only know of one girl from my grade who was treated that way, but even knowing of one is too many, and I went to an academically selective secondary school. And as I'm sure you know, people are never as inherently good as we tend to believe that they are. So therefore, instruct your darling daughters well, dear Dave, that it is never acceptable for anyone to pressure or harass them into anything. xoxox <3
 
good idea
 
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