The Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying
A palliative nurse recorded the most common regrets of the dying and put her findings into a book called ‘The Top Five Regrets of The Dying.’ It’s not surprising to see what made the list as they are all things that touch each of our lives as we struggle to pay attention to and make time for things that we truly love. Below is the list of each regret along with an excerpt from the book. At the bottom is also a link to the book for anyone interested in checking it out.
One thing on regret before we get to the list. It’s important to remember that whatever stage we are at in life, there is no need for regret. The process of regret is one that provides nothing but suffering for ourselves as we begin to allow the past to dictate how we should feel now. Instead, we can use the past as a reference point to understand what adjustments we would like to make moving forward. This does not mean we should not reflect on the past, but it is perhaps more beneficial if we use it to propel us into a better now as opposed to dwelling in self-pity.
When it comes to making changes, be at peace with the past and remember that each moment is a new choice.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
”This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
- See more at:
http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/the-top-5-regrets-of-the-dying/#sthash.qZ7zMnEn.dpuf
[video=youtube;PhYWGo4K1ds]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PhYWGo4K1ds[/video]
An unnaturally-colored sky,
A futuristic city sprawls before my eyes
My carefree stag beetle crawls on my shoulder;
Just what is this place...？
I was with my beloved pet stag beetle,
Just playing around, but something happened
I suddenly panicked, and again and again,
I kept karate-chopping my stag beetle
"Go back! Go back!" I kept screaming,
As I attacked the insect
A policeman with hair like a flower arrangement
Called out: "You there, with the crooked teeth!"
The future person pointed out my complex;
Talk about disrespecting your ancestors!
And I, the primitive girl, appealed in tears,
"I'm just karate-chopping a stag beetle!"
"But stag beetles went extinct 10 years ago!"
The policeman said with surprise
He believed what I said, so he told me
This was the world 50 years in the future
If you meet yourself in this era,
You might figure out a way to go back
He readily helped me find my house,
So I visited, and my granddaughter was there
I could see clearly the teeth were hereditary;
Two generations later, they were alarmingly alike
And I, the primitive girl, encouraged her in tears,
"On the bright side, they make you look fierce!"
"Well, in this era, you're here,"
She said, leading me to a hospital
They said I had one month left to live,
And today marked exactly a month...
Despite the bony, aged face,
I still knew that it was me
It seemed my future self
Had waited for this moment, and spoke...
"You don't have to say anything;
I know what you're going to say...
If I told you everything now, I'm sure
It would alter my destiny to die today...
But there is just one thing I'll tell you..."
"From now on, time and time again,
Again and again you'll have regrets,
Again and again you'll be hurt,
Again and again you'll cry...
But if for each of these,
You waste your life looking back,
One day, it'll give you a terrible fever...
I want to just let things go,
So return as if you never came,
And I'll surely be happy..."
The old woman lost her warmth,
And I shed a tear for her on my stag beetle
As soon as it touched him, it sparkled,
And I was surrounded by familiar sights...
Surrounded by the still-blue sky...
