mimicking body language and intonation?

I can mimic or imitate just about anyone I meet, but this is a conscious effort. I also have a large repertoire of accents and characters I can do improvisationally. Although my 'southern' accent is mild because I chose not to sound like I'm from down here, almost any accent I can do will fool a native speaker. For instance, I've fooled both English and Australian people that I was one of them, and even fooled a girl from Boston that I was too. They were all really freaked out to find out that I wasn't, and insisted I was pulling their leg when I told them I was faking the accent until my friends had to verify.

However, rapport is something that I do subconsciously, and I've been told by my incredibly perceptive ISTP friend that it is something I do reflexively in a way other than described above. Apparently I can read people well enough to figure out what tone of voice, body language, and vibe will affect them and provide it, whether or not it is an imitation of their own. I'm not aware of doing it, so much as I'm aware of a desire to connect with someone. My buddy says I'm like a social chameleon, except that instead of imitating my surroundings, I can turn into the color most likely to attract the bugs I'm trying to catch. Creepy analogy, but kinda accurate, as I remember learning to develop this ability as a kid because I got tired of not having any friends. We moved around alot when I was younger - went to 14 schools before I graduated - and I remember meeting someone who could do this, and decided within myself that I would be able to do it to.
 
I do this too...


I also notice that when I sing, I sing the same way the singer of the song sings...I take on their vocal flaws, and accents...I dont know why I do this, but I do...It makes me wonder if I can really sing, or if its all be a copying act like a parrot or something...
 
Nobleheart said:
I can mimic or imitate just about anyone I meet, but this is a conscious effort. I also have a large repertoire of accents and characters I can do improvisationally. Although my 'southern' accent is mild because I chose not to sound like I'm from down here, almost any accent I can do will fool a native speaker. For instance, I've fooled both English and Australian people that I was one of them, and even fooled a girl from Boston that I was too. They were all really freaked out to find out that I wasn't, and insisted I was pulling their leg when I told them I was faking the accent until my friends had to verify.

However, rapport is something that I do subconsciously, and I've been told by my incredibly perceptive ISTP friend that it is something I do reflexively in a way other than described above. Apparently I can read people well enough to figure out what tone of voice, body language, and vibe will affect them and provide it, whether or not it is an imitation of their own. I'm not aware of doing it, so much as I'm aware of a desire to connect with someone. My buddy says I'm like a social chameleon, except that instead of imitating my surroundings, I can turn into the color most likely to attract the bugs I'm trying to catch. Creepy analogy, but kinda accurate, as I remember learning to develop this ability as a kid because I got tired of not having any friends. We moved around alot when I was younger - went to 14 schools before I graduated - and I remember meeting someone who could do this, and decided within myself that I would be able to do it to.
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Thats cool. I'd love to meet you to see that in action. It works best when you aren't conscious of doing it. I'm nearly there

There is a story about a guy named Richard Bandler who was modelling a therapists behaviour. She did this automatically as well and didn't know she was doing it. Richard noticed and decided to play around with it. He slowly slid down in his chair bit by bit and she followed. he eventually got her to fall off her chair! She had no idea what happened. lol
 
I have only recently realised I do this, and then felt terrible because I subconsciously used it as a tool for manipulation.

I've always been able to imitate people. I sing like the singers, I quote like the actors. If I listen to an accent, I can usually pick it up very quickly. I managed to gain a brilliant Scouse accent, through listening to my parents, a Kiwi accent from my music teacher at school and a South African one from watching Blood Diamond too many times.

I tend to copy people subconsciously when I'm with them, and cherry pick bits of their body language, voice and/or expression that had a certain affect on me to recreate said affect on another.

Copying assures you a safe place where you know you'll be accepted.
I think that at least partially the reason I imitate people.
 
perpetual_liar said:
I have only recently realised I do this, and then felt terrible because I subconsciously used it as a tool for manipulation.

I've always been able to imitate people. I sing like the singers, I quote like the actors. If I listen to an accent, I can usually pick it up very quickly. I managed to gain a brilliant Scouse accent, through listening to my parents, a Kiwi accent from my music teacher at school and a South African one from watching Blood Diamond too many times.

I tend to copy people subconsciously when I'm with them, and cherry pick bits of their body language, voice and/or expression that had a certain affect on me to recreate said affect on another.

Copying assures you a safe place where you know you'll be accepted.
I think that at least partially the reason I imitate people.
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No reason to feel bad about it.
Pretty much everyone does this. It's not necessarily a bad form of manipulation..
It happens and you aren't even conscious of it. It's an innate instinct of communication used to create a rapport (as PJ said) between communications to establish trust.

Kind of like, did you know that smiling is really a signal to others that we are not intending to do them harm? Just a behavior that evolved in us that we don't even consciously think about.

I also tend to pick up on people's body language. I notice I mimic their gesturing, too. But this occurs more often with people I'm acquainted with and see regularly.

I have a friend (who is NOT British) but often times slips into a fake British accent anyways (to be funny I guess) and I slip right into it along with him.. to the point that when I hang up the phone with him I'm talking to others in the same mock accent.
 
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I noticed this habit in myself many years ago. I found it odd at the time & tried to stop, which just made me self-conscious. It never worked. An interesting thing I thought I'd add: mirroring the behavior of another person is thought to relax them with your presence, building instant rapport. Perhaps we do this as a subconscious effort to sooth people and make sure they're comfortable around us?

I read the post above mine right after posting this. :)
 
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The resaon this works is because your mirror neurons are working in sync. Both yours and the other person are saying "he's just like me, what a great bloke"

People instinctively like poeple who are like them. rapport tricks their subconscious into thinking you are. I don't see any moral implications here. The only moral issue comes with what you do with this.

If you use it to trick some old lady into leaving you everything in her will then that is a bad thing. If you use it to have better relationships with people then it is a good thing
 
Poetic Justice said:
The resaon this works is because your mirror neurons are working in sync. Both yours and the other person are saying "he's just like me, what a great bloke"

People instinctively like poeple who are like them. rapport tricks their subconscious into thinking you are. I don't see any moral implications here. The only moral issue comes with what you do with this.

If you use it to trick some old lady into leaving you everything in her will then that is a bad thing. If you use it to have better relationships with people then it is a good thing
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interesting. if it's done subconsciously i agree there is no moral imperative. but if it turns into a conscious act, then it could indeed be used to manipulate people into trusting you and giving you want you want. i guess if you're aware of such a tendency you can maneuver around it and avoid doing something you'll regret.

and thankyou for bringing up mirror neurons!! :D would you mind elaborating on how they work? (i find the whole topic fascinating)
 
The moral issue of rapport can be likened to a torch. You know, one of those big heavy maglites. You can use it to bash someone over the head or you can use it to light up a dark place. It's not the tool thats good or bad, it's the act that is done with the tool. But yes I agree, this and many other techniques could be and are used with bad intentions.

Mirror neurons give you an internal representation of what it is like to do something that you are watching/hearing/feeling someone else do. For example if I watch someone hit their thumb with a hammer, I may well flinch. that is because those friendly little mirror neurons have gone WHACK!! "thats what that feels like"

They basically activate in almost the same way they would if you actually hit yourself with a hammer. INFJ's have exceptionally strong mirror neurons. I think this is why we can feel others emotions. We subconsciously interpret the non verbal signals such as colours in the face, muscle tension, eye movements etc and our mirror neurons give us an internal representation of what it would be like to give off those signals. I reckon this is also why we tend to be multi skilled and can pick things up easily. Our mirror neurons give us a leg up.

The strange thing is (and you can believe me or not here) a person doesn't need to be able to see or hear you to subconsciously know that your mirror neurons are in sync. I can't explain it but I have numerous real world experiences of this including the guy in the shopping centre I told you about. It's common for strangers to turn and smile at you when you feel the lock on but that guy was way in front of me in a crowded area with lots of people in between. there is no question that he couldn't see or hear me.

This seems to be good:

http://www.robotcub.net/misc/review2/06_Rizzolatti_Craighero.pdf
 
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