Online vs. In Person Relationships

infinite dreams said:
That's a little unusual I guess, but if I were in your situation I can't say I would necessarily distrust this person because he doesn't share much about his personal life. I'm probably a bit biased because I tend to be fairly guarded about the details of my personal life too.

This will probably sound impersonal and cold in context, but I've found that I tend to make friends that fulfill specific purposes or needs in my life. I have a circle of 3-4 close friends I can discuss pretty much anything with. Beyond that, I have Music friends, Gaming friends, Sports friends, MBTI friends (lol) etc. It's not that I don't care about these specific-purpose friends or what they're up to in their lives. I just typically don't feel the need to extend the scope of the friendship beyond that thing or two we have in common. I rate these folks differently than mere acquaintances; these are people I look forward to seeing and will schedule time with. But am I going to ask how their family is doing, or talk for hours about our jobs or our daily issues or hopes and dreams? Probably not.

I can certainly see how this mindset might be offputting for others as it more or less precludes "deep connection" in a broader context.
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Thank you for your input and perspective. How you compartmentalize makes sense. It's logical. I compartmentalizing based on how the other person thinks and feels, their general demeanor, interests, etc. I also understand having boundaries and staying guarded. I do that, too. It just bothers me in this case because of a few factors, like how well we click (which he has voiced as well, and before I said anything because I was being guarded) and how long we've known each other, and because of the amount of time we spend together. It will stay the way it is, and my choices are to accept that, or move on.
 
Asa said:
Thank you for your input and perspective. How you compartmentalize makes sense. It's logical. I compartmentalizing based on how the other person thinks and feels, their general demeanor, interests, etc. I also understand having boundaries and staying guarded. I do that, too. It just bothers me in this case because of a few factors, like how well we click (which he has voiced as well, and before I said anything because I was being guarded) and how long we've known each other, and because of the amount of time we spend together. It will stay the way it is, and my choices are to accept that, or move on.
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Just a thought - since you're in a committed relationship and (presumably) he knows this, it could be that he's cautious about overstepping his bounds.
 
infinite dreams said:
Just a thought - since you're in a committed relationship and (presumably) he knows this, it could be that he's cautious about overstepping his bounds.
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He didn't know this until recently. Honestly, I'm just having trouble grasping, "You're my friend, but only in this virtual setting." TBH, I do enjoy that our conversations are on topic and that he is one of the few people in my life that discusses a topic with me, rather than coming to me with his personal issues. I only hear from a large number of people when their lives are a mess. LOL LOL.
 
Asa said:
I only hear from a large number of people when their lives are a mess. LOL LOL.
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