[INFP] Please find my inner self!

[Milktoast Bandit]

.Do you have a place you are able to go and volunteer

I dont have such a place to be at every day

I think you do. You don't necessarily need an establishment dedicated to helping in order to help. There are opportunities to help other everyday just out and about in the everyday world. Simple stuff even, like opening doors with a smile for strangers, asking someone about their day, helping a short old person reach something on a high shelf, simple, plain stuff like saying 'hi' to every stranger you see (that's within a reasonable distance to you because yelling hi to someone you don't know that's 100 feet away is just weird.) Just paint the canvas of life with the kindness in your heart and you will notice changes within.

 

[RyuTech]

I think you do. You don't necessarily need an establishment dedicated to helping in order to help. There are opportunities to help other everyday just out and about in the everyday world. Simple stuff even, like opening doors with a smile for strangers, asking someone about their day, helping a short old person reach something on a high shelf, simple, plain stuff like saying 'hi' to every stranger you see (that's within a reasonable distance to you because yelling hi to someone you don't know that's 100 feet away is just weird.) Just paint the canvas of life with the kindness in your heart and you will notice changes within.

Thats already a part of me. People answering for the way or need advise always get help and i dont abbandon people who sincerely need my help. I also do things i came up with by beeing thoughtful doing people a favor who didnt necessarily ask but from who i know they can use every minute you give them to have free time.

I already started texting and didnt quote from the last site but it was about not destroying anything beeing wrong. I dont see it wrong there may be pain and fear and sadness/depression and all those things but they are just another part of yourself things that made you who you are today. I dont want to destroy them i want to give them meaning and understanding to figure them out and turn them into something better. Seeing the love behind someone who cries in pain the reasons and wishes hidden under the surface. You dont destroy you reconstruct.

 

[the]

There is a positive thing about me having no work right now. Its about having all the possibilities there are I can choose freely and take my time to think about what i want.

What's your ideal job?

 

[RyuTech]

What's your ideal job?

That one is so hard.. Especially because i have reasons i cannot work right now (physical issues with my skin).
I love guiding people to what they desire and want to achieve so i guess a consulting job or personnel departement would be great for me. Finding strengths and help them make good use of them but it sounds so ironic because i cant do that for myself! just for others

Entertainment is another thing im interested in. Giving people a smile or a moment of astonishment. Giving Children something to long for in life and get some energy back into adults who lost their dreams.

 

[the]

That one is so hard.. Especially because i have reasons i cannot work right now (physical issues with my skin).
I love guiding people to what they desire and want to achieve so i guess a consulting job or personnel departement would be great for me. Finding strengths and help them make good use of them but it sounds so ironic because i cant do that for myself! just for others

Entertainment is another thing im interested in. Giving people a smile or a moment of astonishment. Giving Children something to long for in life and get some energy back into adults who lost their dreams.

Have you ever taken a Holland Code assessment? If not go here and see what would be up your alley: http://www.mynextmove.org/explore/ip

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

You dont destroy you reconstruct

Right, but you can't re-construct something without destroying what was previously constructed, right? Unless you tear it down and rebuild it in exactly the same way, but there's no point in that. May as well leave it alone, right?

 

[Flavus Aquila]

@RyuTech
Taking your invitation for questions, regardless of how they might make you feel literally:

1. You have said effusively, that relationships are important to you. What, besides neediness, do you bring to the relationship table?
2. What kind of qualities do you most admire in others?
3. Are you proactively testing the potential for relationships with new people?
4. If your mind is all over the place, what are your goals for mental discipline, and what are your plans to reach those goals?
5. What qualities do you need to work on, to be a better relationship prospect?
6. Is your emphasis on wanting to comfort other people perhaps too exaggerated? Are you being an annoying doormat?
7. What if people want their needs met by feeling more secure in getting their needs themselves? Would you make a good companion in their becoming independent?

 

[RyuTech]

Have you ever taken a Holland Code assessment? If not go here and see what would be up your alley: http://www.mynextmove.org/explore/ip

Does this refer to Germany too? I think not?

Right, but you can't re-construct something without destroying what was previously constructed, right? Unless you tear it down and rebuild it in exactly the same way, but there's no point in that. May as well leave it alone, right?

If you take it that way yes you do as growing is a continously cycle of dying and rebuilding the same goes for mentality. I just dont like the sound of it because you dont break it and toss it away like trash but it stays a part of you as you grow (not like dead cells from your skin which will be replaced)

 

[RyuTech]

1. You have said effusively, that relationships are important to you. What, besides neediness, do you bring to the relationship table?

My good traits in relationship are: Im honest, caring, mindfull. I tend to keep a strong connection emotionally and im spending much energy in making my partner feel comfortable, loved and understood. Im impulsive in sexual terms which can be adventurous and pleasureful. I share my enthusiasm and keep everything active and alive since i dont like the relationship to get monotone at some point. Im trustworthy and goodwilled not taking any interest aside from my relationship since for me personally its the most important thing. (Besides that if i look back im pretty good at serving and pretty much do anything to please too). And i can be really playful xD edit: I can be pretty damn romantic and cheesy

2. What kind of qualities do you most admire in others?

Besides my most important things as emotional connection and caring i also admire completely different traits other personality types have as i see a challenge to make it work. Beeing open, direct, hardworking and dominant with quick decisions is something i think of as strong and loveable. I know the dark sides of those relationships though as i lack compatibility and besides building a really strong connection only works well with other NF types for me~

3. Are you proactively testing the potential for relationships with new people?

I did not do anything like that for over 3 years now and im slowly testing the waters. Getting to know new people without blocking right at the start and getting playful if im tempted asking many things i would like in a relationship like their interests and behaviour and their values. Once it clicks and someone is really interesting i tend to cling to them which can be counterproductive~ I didnt take direct steps towards a relationship though.

4. If your mind is all over the place, what are your goals for mental discipline, and what are your plans to reach those goals?

Theres one word that describes what i dont want never ever! Prejudice. My mental discipline is to never tempt to judge people with little information trying to stay open and calm. Thats mainly what i focus about when interacting with people everything else comes fluid and natural. What i want to organize is my confusion about myself and inner struggles due to multiple perspectives. It doesnt effect the outside that much as i can talk freely and wont mess up or anything but it effects my energy heavily and the overflow makes me go blank at some point which results in me disengaging sooner or later.

Before i used to have my girlfriend around to calm me down praise me or just touch me as she would say "its fine im here" which made me recharge faster or even made me able to let go and be comfortable. Today i have nothing that gets me comfortable if it happens and i feel empty, lonely, stressed, dead. I try to find something else that makes me steady and sure.

5. What qualities do you need to work on, to be a better relationship prospect?

Im by far not bad in a relationship i just didnt get many chances or denied starting any for a long time. What id need to work on is lowering my walls and giving in again. My Protection is in my way there pretty much. Other than that small things depending on the personality of my partner. Its always adapting and understanding. But im sure i can be a good life partner if i have the chance.

 

[Flavus Aquila]

My good traits in relationship are: Im honest, caring, mindfull. I tend to keep a strong connection emotionally and im spending much energy in making my partner feel comfortable, loved and understood. Im impulsive in sexual terms which can be adventurous and pleasureful. I share my enthusiasm and keep everything active and alive since i dont like the relationship to get monotone at some point. Im trustworthy and goodwilled not taking any interest aside from my relationship since for me personally its the most important thing. (Besides that if i look back im pretty good at serving and pretty much do anything to please too). And i can be really playful xD edit: I can be pretty damn romantic and cheesy



Besides my most important things as emotional connection and caring i also admire completely different traits other personality types have as i see a challenge to make it work. Beeing open, direct, hardworking and dominant with quick decisions is something i think of as strong and loveable. I know the dark sides of those relationships though as i lack compatibility and besides building a really strong connection only works well with other NF types for me~



I did not do anything like that for over 3 years now and im slowly testing the waters. Getting to know new people without blocking right at the start and getting playful if im tempted asking many things i would like in a relationship like their interests and behaviour and their values. Once it clicks and someone is really interesting i tend to cling to them which can be counterproductive~ I didnt take direct steps towards a relationship though.



Theres one word that describes what i dont want never ever! Prejudice. My mental discipline is to never tempt to judge people with little information trying to stay open and calm. Thats mainly what i focus about when interacting with people everything else comes fluid and natural. What i want to organize is my confusion about myself and inner struggles due to multiple perspectives. It doesnt effect the outside that much as i can talk freely and wont mess up or anything but it effects my energy heavily and the overflow makes me go blank at some point which results in me disengaging sooner or later.

Before i used to have my girlfriend around to calm me down praise me or just touch me as she would say "its fine im here" which made me recharge faster or even made me able to let go and be comfortable. Today i have nothing that gets me comfortable if it happens and i feel empty, lonely, stressed, dead. I try to find something else that makes me steady and sure.



Im by far not bad in a relationship i just didnt get many chances or denied starting any for a long time. What id need to work on is lowering my walls and giving in again. My Protection is in my way there pretty much. Other than that small things depending on the personality of my partner. Its always adapting and understanding. But im sure i can be a good life partner if i have the chance.

Are you too focused on your own needs?
Are expecting future partners to meet your needs?
Would you be able to handle a partner who is more needy than you?

 

[RyuTech]

Have you ever taken a Holland Code assessment? If not go here and see what would be up your alley: http://www.mynextmove.org/explore/ip

Realistic 18
Investigative 18
Artistic 30
Social 34
Enterprising 16
Conventional 19

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

If you take it that way yes you do as growing is a continously cycle of dying and rebuilding the same goes for mentality. I just dont like the sound of it because you dont break it and toss it away like trash but it stays a part of you as you grow (not like dead cells from your skin which will be replaced

What is your definition of inner self?

How would finding your inner self make you any different than your current self?

What is it about yourself you are trying to change?

 

[the]

I love guiding people to what they desire and want to achieve so i guess a consulting job or personnel departement would be great for me. Finding strengths and help them make good use of them but it sounds so ironic because i cant do that for myself! just for others

Entertainment is another thing im interested in. Giving people a smile or a moment of astonishment. Giving Children something to long for in life and get some energy back into adults who lost their dreams.

Realistic 18
Investigative 18
Artistic 30
Social 34
Enterprising 16
Conventional 19

https://www.onetonline.org/explore/interests/Social/Artistic/Conventional/

Results check out.

 

[RyuTech]

Are you too focused on your own needs?

I would not say so. Many people told me i should focus more on my needs. I still tend to think about others first so im not selfcentered in a relationship. If you really trust your partner he will willingly care for your needs as you care for hers too.

Are expecting future partners to meet your needs?

No the only thing i really want is a connection mentally everything else can be worked at. Love is Love no matter with whom. I'd prefer less complications though since im still unstable if id find someone right now i'd be glad to have similarities.

Would you be able to handle a partner who is more needy than you?

I did! for 3 and a half years. And it worked well except for one thing that made everything break down. I was not able to make direct statements about my needs because i prefer hint dropping and talking playfully around problems to keep it comfortable. With a partner not able to understand those (she was an ESFJ) it was bound to happen that problems kept piling up as i disengaged from it and a misunderstanding made us break up in the end. So yes i can handle it but i do need some acceptance that i cant be the rock in the relationship 24/7

 

[RyuTech]

What is your definition of inner self?

My Inner self is everything that defines me. My Way of Thinking, Values, Desires, Emotions, Good or Bad, Ethics, Feelings, and Needs. In a way of Art it would be a Deep colorful surrealistic complex Sea with Lights and Darkness in it.

How would finding your inner self make you any different than your current self?

Stability and Ensurance. Becoming Stronger making me able to love myself instead of just accepting and agreeing.

What is it about yourself you are trying to change?

I want to raise my Energy level and make me able to have impact on it on myself not having to rely on others too much.

 

[the]

I would not say so. Many people told me i should focus more on my needs. I still tend to think about others first so im not selfcentered in a relationship. If you really trust your partner he will willingly care for your needs as you care for hers too.



No the only thing i really want is a connection mentally everything else can be worked at. Love is Love no matter with whom. I'd prefer less complications though since im still unstable if id find someone right now i'd be glad to have similarities.



I did! for 3 and a half years. And it worked well except for one thing that made everything break down. I was not able to make direct statements about my needs because i prefer hint dropping and talking playfully around problems to keep it comfortable. With a partner not able to understand those (she was an ESFJ) it was bound to happen that problems kept piling up as i disengaged from it and a misunderstanding made us break up in the end. So yes i can handle it but i do need some acceptance that i cant be the rock in the relationship 24/7

What is more important, being comfortable or having needs met? At what point will you be direct instead of indirect?

 

[RyuTech]

What is more important, being comfortable or having needs met?

Thats pretty much mixed isnt it? Having Needs met is a part of beeing comfortable but things you dont need can still make you comfortable. Beeing comfortable is the result of many things and in terms of happyness much more important than just your needs.

EDIT: Im so unsure about this question xD Its not something i'd normally think about cause its about what i need and feel comfortable with ^^' In relationship i tend to focus on hers more than mine.

At what point will you be direct instead of indirect?

Till now i got direct after it was too late. Since the breakup i unconciously began to be more direct early on if somethings up. I dont like it though because it can hurt pretty much at first so i cant really tell "when" im direct but i try to be more often to prevent Selfdestruction.

 

[Ryso89]

Let's be aware of the fact that Ryutech's first language is probably Deutsch, and thus, he has a hard time explaining himself accurately. Just a thought.

 

[Milktoast Bandit]

My Inner self is everything that defines me. My Way of Thinking, Values, Desires, Emotions, Good or Bad, Ethics, Feelings, and Needs. In a way of Art it would be a Deep colorful surrealistic complex Sea with Lights and Darkness in it.

Isn't this what you are now?

Stability and Ensurance. Becoming Stronger making me able to love myself instead of just accepting and agreeing

What is loving yourself?
What is accepting yourself?

want to raise my Energy level

What would this be like?

 

[RyuTech]

This is what i am right now right.
Loving myself is beeing able to motivate myself by remembering who i am and what im made of.
Accepting myself is accepting what i need, love, hate and struggle with but accepting doesnt always mean its good.
Having more energy would result in me beeing able to keep my word and dont fail expectations too much. It would help me with my decisions and beeing more straight in getting my act together beeing less vulnerable and needy but able to be offering more. I have a lot of weak points i work at but beeing unreliable is IMO the most important thing to fix if i want to survive in this world.